The jerk in line with the cell phone.
 

You know the guy. You might be that guy. The guy who gives YOU the dirty look while he’s chatting loudly into his cell phone in line at the grocery store treating the cashier like she’s not there. Slowing the line up for everybody else. Do you care that…

You’re giving Seattle 4 points and still expect to win a grand?
The “skank” that you met last night thought you were hot?
That “Hell no, I’m not gonna call her”?
And that “The asshole behind me (that would be me) is giving me shit…I might have to call you back” I haven’t said a word yet…just roll my eyes at him.

…and that’s when he hangs up and stares at me.

For almost a minute after the cashier tells him his total for his purchases. While he glares at me, I say “Let’s just get this show over with. Pay for your stuff so we can all get out of here.” Keep in mind that I’m about 15 years older and 40 pounds heavier than this guy.

The cashier repeats the total to the guy. He keeps repeating that some people can be such assholes (the irony of which is totally escaping him at the moment), while he pays for his purchases. By now the cashier is rolling her eyes also. Also by now the people behind me have noticed that the guy is holding the line up. It’s now uncomfortable for everyone but me.

He pays, leaves, and stares once again. I’m fully aware that he could be outside waiting and, in fact, look for him. No dice. Long gone by the time I get out there, and I didn’t have much in the cart.

All I was out was a couple of minutes. What bugs me is the general lack of accepted norms because of someone’s personal prerogative. It’s happening so much more lately that I can’t help being personally offended and somewhat enraged.

How would YOU have handled it? Not the normal e-bragging, but real life responses would be appreciated.

e-bragging: I would've whupped the mutherfucker's ass in the parking lot

Real life: Probably would have told him to get the fuck off the cell phone and quit holding everybody in the line up.

I've never been afraid to tell someone they're being an asshole, even though most people could kick my butt. I'm mouthy like that.

In real life, whenever we encounter an obnoxious cell phoner, we usually stand beside them and talk just as loudly as they are, sometimes even pretending they're talking to us by responding to what they say. Sometimes we'll just say over and over again, "Where you at??" until they walk away from us.

Today at the bank, a man was at the counter with the teller. He didn't receive a call, he pulled out his cell phone and made a call while the teller was talking to him.

I usually ask them who they are talking to and what makes their call so important right then. I then start up a one-sided banter with them if they ignore me. I have no scruples and I guess I just need to get my ass kicked so I'll shut up. I'm sure it will happen one day. I have found that a certain amount of boldness usually backs people down, especially when they're in the wrong!

Being the obnoxious lad I am had he confronted me like that after merely rolling my eyes, I would have done my best to pick apart the situation pointing out everyone else waiting in line and how he was (and continued) to hold up the line for his petty cell phone bragging about his "skank" last night when he could have easily waited 5 minutes to make the call in the parking lot. Good chance I would have then launched into something about how demeaning that is to women and why does he feel he needs to treat them that way?

I like to grossly overanalyze things to strangers. It makes them really confused.
I've done it before, and I'll do it again.

One of these might solve this problem. They work to jam cell phones from about 30 to 50 feet away they say and are only about the size of a pack of cigs.
Phone Jammer
http://www.phonejammer.com/mini-phonejammer%202.jpg

Thought those were illegal flstf? If you do use one of those never leave it on too long...there might be an emergency that someone needs to use their cellphone (like to call an ambulance).

Jake- I would have ignored him. I don't know if that's best or not (normally I am devoted to changing society for the better even if it puts me at a disadvantage in social situations.) But I've never found responding to these types of people to ever accomplish anything. Not sure what we as a polite people should do about it.

Hahaha. I'm a big fan of people not using cell phones while in line for things. Glad to see you said something. It's like instant feedback for the asshattery.

I wish cellphones were never invented. They are so irritating it's not even funny.

Usually when people do that I just stare at them or try to ignore them. I guess because they are so prevalent today that I don't feel like making an issue of it everytime I leave the house.

life is too short for me to get worked up over something like that, now it would be different if it was a prolonged exposure like a restaurant.

everytime i read something like this though it makes me think back to the thread about the guy getting beat on while he waited in line for pizza because that girl jumped ahead of him. bad things can happen.

I find it kind of akward to talk on a cell phone in public places.. Maybe it is because I am more reserved/introverted, but I like to have phone conversations in private. In general, I also like to keep my business to myself, and not ramble about in earshot of others, especialy if they are random strangers.

I am not really a fan of being on the other end of a phone conversation where the person is in a public place doing something. In fact, I may even consider it kind of insulting. If you want to talk to me, just wait until you have a free moment. No one I know has a life so busy that they can't afford to be on the phone with me when they aren't buying groceries or speeding to get to work on time.

What's funny is that when I'm on the phone and it's my turn in line, I make the person on the phone wait until the cashier doesn't need me anymore. If you need to talk to me that badly, you'll either hang on or call back. Either way, you're going to allow me to respect the person in front of me who's helping me out. That cashier doesn't have to be nice and s/he can just as easily screw with your order or drag out the purchase.

I do enjoy engaging some one else in line in a conversation similar to the one that the obnoxious person is having with the same vocal inflections. I've gotten quite a few laughs and usually they hang up or pay attention.

I probably would have bumped into the guy with my cart, or if I had no cart I probably would have shrugged my purse up on my shoulder with a swing that would make contact with the offending cell phone addict's body. Then when the addict turned to glare at me I would probably say "Oh excuse me." or if I was pissed enough "Oh excuse me, your still there. I thought you'd paid by now, your total is $18.20 btw." Then given them an innocent look like I had not intended to bump them.

Otherwise if I was really pissed or rushed I would have pushed my cart up against them and left it there with my hip while unloading my stuff RIGHT next to the scanner and acting like I didn't see the cell addict. Basically making myself unignorable. (if that's a word)

That sounds hilarious.

I've always thought it would be fun to have one of those jammers. If someone's being rude, ask politely. If they get obnoxious, slap your chest communicator and say "Kirk here. Initiate communications countermeasures in sector 13." *Blooop!*

I don't know, there are so many different ways of holding up a line. Those who wait until their purcases are rung up before they start to look for their chronically misplaced wallets, for instance, or old grannys and their gazillion cupons, or all the douchebags who can't be bothered to learn their credit card codes, or those who don't have a wallet but store their monies all over their persons...eurgh. Not to mention those who put all their stuff on the belt and then goes off to fetch something they forgot... don't get in line until you're done shopping!!!!1! (And then they return with not one but five items from all over the store.)
Most of my cel phone talking customers are actually able to talk and pay at the same time. I take extra care to establish good eye contact with them though, so they remember where they are and what they are supposed to do. ;)

Thanks for the replies...
 

In hindsight there are a bunch of things I could have said to try to humiliate him, but I've noticed that people like this HAVE very little humility.

I'm sure while he was glaring he was trying to figure out his odds in an altercation. I'm a very BIG guy and I was wearing work boots. His self-preservation instinct must have kicked in before he said anything to me.

The funniest part about all of this...I used to work with a guy that looked a LOT like this guy (when we were both his age) and we got along great. I'm now wondering if it was his son as he was from that part of town.

Without fail I say "hang up the phone and pay for your stuff so the rest of can get out of here, I had one guy want to "take it outside", I said "We're not 12 year olds, I'm not going to fight you" One of the bystanders called the police and that peretty much ended that confrontation.

I would have said something to the effect of "the rest of us don't have time for you to call the bank for a loan."

And the "take it outside" remark would have instigated a call to the police on MY cell phone.

Don't people get beaten up if they pull this crap in a line in New York?

If I have my cell, I flip it open and start a loud pretend conversation about how I'm going to be late because there is some nitwit in line holding things up. If I don't have my phone, I do the same thing, but I talk into my hand.

I probably wouldn't have said anything. I know I'm spineless. I do believe, however, that cell phones can cause major problems.

I don't understand people who talk on the cell phone and drive. I like to focus on the road, not a conversation with my best friend. The worst accident I've witnessed was caused by a man who was talking on the cell phone and ran a red light.

I guess these are just personal pet peeves. I just thought I'd share.

most people are assholes when they feel it's "their right" to do something... and having a cellphone that gives them ANYTIME minutes means just that, ANYTIME they want to talk they do, even in the movie theater.

It's so obvious you work in a grocery store, and I can completely sympathize ;)

I like this one. Retained for future reference.

Sounds pretty much like what I would do.

Cept for the hand part, that's a little too humourous of thing for me to do :lol:

well, am i the only one here who wouldn't do anything?
yeah, i don't know... it actually doesn't bother me. i just don't care. I just ignore it. not going to waste any of my energy on some jerk.

sweetpea

People talking on cell phones while in line generally piss me off, because I have dealt with so many of these kinds of customers while working at Starbucks. Usually, they end up being the biggest assholes too. The problem with blabbing on cell phones while in line anywhere is that the person who is working may need to ask you a question. In my case while working as a barista, I generally need to clarify a few things with the customer, like "would you like whipped cream?" or "would you like room for cream in your coffee?" It's just courtesy to get off your phone to treat someone with the respect they deserve.

If I am in a bad mood and someone is chatting on their cell phones while ordering/paying for a drink, I'll ask something or call out their drink VERY loudly. Maybe then they'll get the hint.

I just look at them, then slightly shake my head in a disgusted way, and try my best to make them feel like an idiot.

As a person who has sold all manner of cell phones for a total of about 6 years, I can say people's cell phone manners are fucking atrocious. But, at the same time, people are going to be assholes in any way they can, if that's their predisposition. The cell phone is just another tool they use to be an asshole, so demonizing the cell phone isn't going to help anyone, or anything, or resolve any problems. Get assholes to stop being assholes, or just generally rude and inconsiderate people, and the cell phone will cease to be just another thing that idiots use improperly.

That being said, I personally realize that the world will not stop rotating on its axes and fling me off the surface if the dude in front of me at the checkout counter takes one or two extra minutes because he's being inattentive. I've clocked such people doing these things. I don't care how long it feels like, i've never seen it take over 1 minute of the person not paying attention. And i've been clocking people for a while. 60 seconds is a long time to realize you're done and need to pay... but it feels even longer if you're rushing so bad that 1 minute of your life is disasterous. Bottom line, some people are assholes, rude, and generally inconsiderate... but some people also need to chill the fuck out from time to time and realize there's more to life than 1 minute.

As for the "you wanna take this outside?" bit, i'm more of a "instigate without making it look like instigating, while still indoors in front of witnesses". This way, if he's got the balls to do it, he's gonna do it in the store. If he lacks the grapes to fight me at all, it's not going to happen outside any more than it would inside.

Before anyone roasts me for saying I antagonize people, let me say this: I am a very laid-back person when it comes to most everything. IF it ever comes to someone saying "...take it outside", all efforts to resolve the situation verbally (and I do make every effort to resolve by talking first) have already failed, and this is pretty much the last resort of the offender.

Typical line (and keep in mind i've never once been in a fight):

"No, I don't want to take it outside. Let me make sure i've got this- you're acting like an asshole, I called you on your rude behavior, and your response is to prove you're an asshole by threatening me? People with balls don't make threats, they make promises- and right now, I promise you will be much better off if you walk away before you get yourself in trouble."

I love delivering it, it's like a small speech. I actually wrote it as a line for a character in a script I was writing one day, years ago, and thought it was so great i'd give it a shot. Hasn't failed me- every person i've ever said it to has backed down immediately, with no further incident.

I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else, though... because apparently (i've been told as much) that when I say it, in my very calm and even tone, I take on the facial expressions and appearance of a psycho killer or something, and that maybe part of its success is that people think i'm literally a serial killer or hitman or something by the look i'm giving them. I've been told that by more than one friend. So, grain of salt and all that.

Personally, I also find it atrocious and rude, but I'm just enough of a smartass to have turned to the person behind me and say "I don't think I'm skanky, he's so wrong"......I'm not usually rude right back; I prefer the subtle high road approach most times. Keeps'em guessing.
I never got how or why, though, that the rudest people, when called on it, can't say 'sorry' and be done, they have to be confrontational, like it's a package deal. They'll talk on their phones while driving, not go when the light turns green, so you beep at them, they give YOU the finger.
I have a cell phone with me at all times. It's usually on vibrate. I'm capable of returning a call. Would that others do the same. I just hate it that I let strangers raise my BP, I don't wish to do it myself.

And that is something that I think is funny. People get a phone call and they stop everything to see who's calling them. If I'm in a store or if I'm driving I let my phone vibrate, make a mental note to check it when convenient, and continue. I don't see why people think that if they miss a phone call they are going to fall over dead. I'm pretty sure that it's not #1 Grade-A super-duper die-right-now time sensitive shit.

I would so LOVE to be a bystander watching this interaction. Or even have a video camera going. I'd love to see the other guy's reaction.

Oh GAWD I miss New Jersey... :D

I personally think anyone who's immature enough kiss and tell over the phone -- deserves to be run over by the biggest suv in the parking lot - by a person talking on their cell phone...

I really don't get it - are they trying to show off? do they think that the rest fo the world is actually impressed that they could nail a skank? (isn't the definition of a skank, one who's been nailed by all - why would he want to brag about that?)

If it were me, I probably would have gone to the Health and beauty aids aisle and picked upa tube of cream for crabs or something and handed it to him because if she was a skank, he'd prolly need it later.


ah well...

On behalf of cell phone offenders everywhere (and I most certainly am one since I use mine constantly when I'm not in the office), I'd like to apologize. We're a sorry lot and we just can't help ourselves sometimes.

I was once on the road waiting in a coffee shop down the street from my next meeting with a client. It was 10 am in the middle of suburban heck in Minneapolis (I think), and I had a very big, complex deal that I was working on with another client, and I called him while I had some downtime. Being a naturally loud guy, I typically get even louder on my phone since I can't really perceive how loud my voice is over the phone. As I was finishing up the call, a little old lady came over to my table, waited until I was done and said, "Sir, I have absolutely no idea what you were talking about, but I heard every word of it. Can you explain what all those terms and numbers meant?"

Needless to say, I try to be more concious of my voice level now.

Returning a call is much different than checking who called you. Most phones nowadays allow one to see who's calling them with a simple glance. This probably won't even take 1 full second. Returning a call however.....

Sorry folks, but I really don't think that person would bother me in the slightest. Some of you seem to expect the outside world to have the same rules as a library.

Nope. Just a bit of common courtesy is all I require. Standing in close quarters in the checkout line at Wal*Mart is probably not the best time to pull out the cell phone and have some obnoxiously loud conversation about nothing in particular.

If you're calling to ask if milk is needed, then fine. To have a 5 minute conversation about Skittles preferences and the wonder of that little 'S' on the shells because, gods forbid, you spend a few minutes with your mouth closed in quiet contemplation...well, that's entirely different.

I don't particularly like cell phones, but I don't begrudge those that do. I just expect a bit common courtesy. It's the oil that keeps the machine of civilized society turning.

As to the OP... I try to ignore most cell phone users as long as their cell phone use isn't an inconvenience for me. You can hold a conference call while swiping an ATM card in a timely manner in a voice to wake the dead? Great. You're rude as fuck, but at least you're quick.

Otherwise, well I'm probably going to mock you appropriately. If you're loud, I'm louder. If you're babbling, I'm babbling...but louder. If you give me the 'god, this guy is such an asshole stare,' then I'll stare right back....louder and probably with a few words.

nope. I just expect when you are in line to make a purchase or use the ATM, bus pass machine, turnstile, ANYPLACE/ANYTHING that other people are queued up behind you to use, and you aren't ready with your money, ticket, badge, et. al. and you are chatting on the cellphone, you're an inconsiderate asshole plain and simple.

I'm glad somebody finally said it, I was kinda wondering if I was alone in the world of "not worth my time." I'll admit that I don't like waiting longer in lines, etc.. but I wouldn't fault that with the cell phone at all. Like someone wise above said, there's tons of things you can do to hold up a line. As a matter of fact, I think people who right checks bother me more than people on cell phones. Writing out all those words and numbers and license number .. bastards.

In reality, however, I'd rather be thinking about fluffy bunnies then bothering my brain processes with anger or frustration or whatever emotion you choose. So I don't bother labelling anyone as an inconsiderate asshole...

normally I don't either, but living in a city with 8 million people and 2 million that come over the bridges and tunnels every day, plus tourists, it gets kind of a pain in the ass when 10 people in front of you aren't ready to make their purchase because they stood in line day dreaming instead of getting themselves ready and prepared for their turn and transaction.