Beer, Fishing, Golf, and Sex - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

SirLance · 10-05-2005, 08:31 AM

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a
particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him
for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I
give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to
spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?"
the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20
years!"

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead
of food?" the man asked.

"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless
man.

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead,
I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you
for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a
man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."

kinsaj · 10-05-2005, 10:43 PM

Haha... that's great.
Thanks.

aphex140 · 10-05-2005, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SirLance

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."

LOL nice one

Zeraph · 10-06-2005, 09:49 AM

Good one.

Chuckles · 10-06-2005, 01:09 PM

props on that one haha

Ilow · 10-06-2005, 05:25 PM

awesome, If i were married, i would give this to my wife post haste!

carrot glace · 10-07-2005, 04:45 AM

haha, a lesson for all the married women out there

loganmule · 10-09-2005, 07:41 PM

good one...I'll bet the homeless guy feels like he's lived forever, what with all the fun things no longer in his life

10-05-2005, 08:31 AM	#1 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Beer, Fishing, Golf, and Sex A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked. "No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive." "Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!" "Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked. "What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man. "Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting." The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex." __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

10-05-2005, 10:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
kinsaj Psycho Location: somewhere out there	Haha... that's great. Thanks. __________________ boom

10-06-2005, 05:25 PM	#6 (permalink)
Ilow Junkie Location: Pats country	awesome, If i were married, i would give this to my wife post haste! __________________ "Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about" --Sam Harris

10-07-2005, 04:45 AM	#7 (permalink)
carrot glace Crazy Location: orange county	haha, a lesson for all the married women out there __________________ "blaine is a pain and that is the truth"

10-06-2005, 09:49 AM	#4 (permalink)
Zeraph Banned Location: The Cosmos	Good one.

10-06-2005, 01:09 PM	#5 (permalink)
Chuckles Insane Location: California	props on that one haha

10-09-2005, 07:41 PM	#8 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	good one...I'll bet the homeless guy feels like he's lived forever, what with all the fun things no longer in his life