marcopolo

Disgruntled Chinese Tattoo Artists Get Revenge


Pitt junior Brandon Smith wanted a tattoo that proclaimed his manliness, so he decided to get the Chinese characters for “strength” and “honor” on his chest. After 20 minutes under the needle of local tattoo artist Andy Sakai, he emerged with the symbol for “small penis” embedded in his flesh.



Above: Symbols on the back of a Pitt student inked by Sakai (inset) were originally meant to say “princess.”
They really say “prostitute.”

“I had it for months before I knew what it really meant,” Smith said.

“Then I went jogging through the Carnegie Mellon campus and a group of Asian kids started laughing and calling me ‘Shorty.’ That’s when I knew something was up.”

Sakai, an award-winning tattoo artist, was tired of seeing sacred Japanese words, symbols of his heritage, inked on random white people. So he used their blissful ignorance to make an everlasting statement. Any time acustomer came to Sakai’s home studio wanting Japanese tattooed on them, he modified it into a profane word or phrase.

“All these preppy sorority girls and suburban rich boys think they’re so cool ‘cause they have a tattoo with Japanese characters. But it doesn’t mean shit to them!” Sakai said. “The dumbasses don’t even realize that I’ve written ‘slut’ or ‘pervert’ on their skin!”

In the last month, seven people unknowingly received explicit tattoos from the disgruntled artist. Kerri Baker, a Carlow College freshman, paid $50 to have the symbols for “beautiful goddess” etched above her belly button, but when she went into Szechuan Express Asian Noodle Shop sporting a bare midriff, the giggling employees explained to her that the tattoo really said, “Insert General Tso’s Chicken Here!”

“I don’t even like General Tso’s!” Baker sobbed. “I’m a vegetarian!”

Sakai doesn’t feel guilty about using hapless college students as canvases for his graffiti.

“I think I’m helping my fellow man by labeling all the stupid people in the world,” he explained. “It’s not a crime, it’s a public service.”



This tat proclaims " I fuck my dog ! "

So Kid's the moral here is if you should so choose to get a foreign symbol tattooed on your body, you should look up the symbol YOURSELF first, and then bring a printout of it to the tattoo place to say "I want exactly this."

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Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

bernadette

heard about this before.

funny funny shit! dumbasses deserve what they get.

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IC3

Hmmm...and I want to get the chinese symbol of the year I was born.

Why is that guy not getting charged or anything...Surely he can't just Tattoo things that the people didn't ask for.

Tiger69z

I don't know the legitness of this article...

I'm chinese, japanese basically use the same characters.

I've also studied japanese...

Eitherway, that "this tatoo says i fuck my dog" really just says dragon....

onetime2

Sounds fake. The "I'm a vegetarian" quote is bullshit. No one would say that.

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CSflim

I totally believe this. They deserve it too.
Chineese/Japaneese lettering is such a stupid fad. What's the point in getting something "profound" and "mystical" embedded onto your skin, if it means precisely DICK to you?

It works the other way too.

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bondagegirl

Thats fuckin hilarious if it's true. I'm sure it's happened somewhere even if this article isn't true. damn thats funny.

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Tophat665

That's bullshit. 1) Massive lawsuits would ensue. 2) The dockfucker tattoo is actually "Long" meaning Dragon. I researched that for a beer label not long ago.

OTOH, I may yet buy a "baka gaijin" (Dumb Foreigner) or "Dirty White Devil" T from jlist.com. Funny stuff there.

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Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

numberfive

The article is true, I think the "I fuck my dog" thing is just a joke by marcopolo because it wasn't on any of the other sites which contained the article.

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vermin

Similar to this thread.

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If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

grumpyolddude

This place has finally made me laugh out loud.
Thanks.

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sadistikdreams

i have a teeshirt that says "I HATE MY LIFE! Every day I polish my revolver and shoot my head, LIKE A ROCK STAR!"

im so popular in chinatown

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The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials."
-Lin Yutang

hearts, by d.a.

marcopolo

Heh.

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bundy

this is fuckin great.

i´m cock.
i´m home. i´m home all alone. i need some hot calls...

hilarious...
There were three jovial welshmen... wtf??

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Ohayo!!!