BigTruck1956

Ok, so two days ago, i got my first BJ. I was also the first time my gf had ever given one. Long story short, i didnt come. I think it was because i was already stressed out from unrelated circumstances, but i dont know what i should do now. I think she thinks its her fault but from what i felt, it was amazing. After i told her how amazing it was, she said "you can tell me if it wasn't good" which made me feel like complete shit because i know she is still thinking it is kinda her fault. WTF do i do now?? And how do i realx more next time?

Silvy

Just tell her what you really think is the case.
The truth is best!

Next time when the subject comes up (and you feel a little less stressed out) ask for it "because last time was sooooo good"
People can get pretty insecure when it comes to sex, so you may have some work here....

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motdakasha

Make sure she realizes it was probably not because of her. Let her know her efforts are appreciated.
Maybe talking about these unrelated influences that could be causing the stress will help you relax.
Don't leave her out in the dark.

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seretogis

Or, if you are a manipulative bastard, you could tell her "practice makes perfect".

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Devilchild

i had this same problem, i was trying to come, and all you have to do is lay back and enjoy it, tell her how nice it is while shes doing it, moan, be a bit noisey, look her in the eye smile at her, dont close ure eyes and fall asleep. eventually it will 'come' and maybe she just needs practice.

Bamrak

it's all about communication and practice, tell her you enjoyed it and want it as often as she can give it. You just have to remember to return the favor in one form or another.

BigTruck1956

ok, i guess im stressin out more that i should. Thanks for all the advice!

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blackdas

I think some people are insecure and will always be skeptical...the only thing you can do is tell her and make sure she believes you. I had experience with this, and after telling her long enough she should believe you!

kalashnikov

If she is only using her mouth, especially if it is her first time, you probably won't get enough stimulation. Even now with my girlfriend just using her mouth sometimes isn't enough. If she uses her hands too, switching off between blowjobs and handjobs or both at once, not only will you come, but it will feel even more incredible.

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Pedialyte

agreeing with the post before me... oral sex can only do so much... it takes a long blow job session for me to even get near climaxing. make sure she is aware that most guys dont come from a quick blowjob and that she did nothing wrong. you definately dont want her thinking she is terrible at it... because then she will be.

Devilchild

yup bjs and hand jobs work the best, try and get both but dont forget to return the favor

Sledge

Thirding kalashnikov and Pedialyte. BJs have a reputation that exceeds the truth. It's partially because your girlfriend doesn't have much experience, but it's also because you don't really get to move at all.

-undying-

BigTruck1956, the same thing happened to me with my gf .. I didn't come .. thinking fast, I quickly turned the situation around and got a 69 going .. I went slow on her giving her more time to get me off .. and just as I was climaxing I finished her off too =)
in the end it was a win-win situation and everyone was happy .. next time, think a little bit ..

giblfiz

got to back up kalashnikov and Pedialyte its really hard to come when a girl is just using her mouth. It feels great, but somehow something just does'nt trigger the come. Have her use her hands along with her mouth next time, and have fun.

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Mr. Creosote

I've been with my gal for years and have NEVER come from a blowjob. She is fantastic at them and I love them dearly, but for some folks, it just doesn't happen. She'll go until she gets lockjaw. A handjob or a bit of action between the tits finishes the job nicely.

Slims

Edited.

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skysooner

I think I stated this on another thread, but the only time I have ever come with BJs was with a pro when I was late in college and didn't want to work on having a girlfriend. All other times, I haven't. It feels good, but there is nothing like hands, vagina, or boobs to help you get the more intense stimulation you need to get off. It isn't unusual at all.

BigTruck1956

Ok i took the communication advice and let her know how i feel, so i think its all ok now. thanks again for all the advice!

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cheerios

whee, glad ot hear it worked out. I feel for your gf... gave a real failure of one myself the other day... good to know you guys appreciate em regardless

Aladdin Sane

Wow. Here I finally see that there are others who don't think a bj is the greatest sexual trick ever! I've only cum from a bj once or twice in my life, and I don't ask for them from my lover. They really don't do that much for me. I much prefer cunnilingus.

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smithja0423

HA! - You guys who can get off from oral are lucky bastards - I've been going at it for like 6 years now and have still yet to achieve an orgasm from oral.

joesmith

It takes a rare woman that can handle me orally until i come - I don't come off easily - it takes an hour or more often, and i can't come from not moving.. i have to be Really thrusting.. Not a good thing to be doing when involving someones face... They feel great and all, but to get there i really usually prefer to pull out and either go vaginal/anal or simply manual to finally break - anyone else out there in the same boat?

analog

Why the hell not? Face-fucking is incredible. You can also put her in front of you like you're going to go doggy, but fuck her face instead of the other end, it's fuckin awesome AND if she swallows, you can finish while you fuck, which is something not all of us can do in a vagina. My girl loves it when i grab her hair and shove her head down on me really fast, so i'm fucking her mouth while laying down. If nothing else, it saves wear on the neck muscles!

jbrooks544

Tell her to stroke the base of it with a firmly grasping hand, in synch with her mouth strokes. What you need to tell her is that she needs to stay on a rythm and that if she stops or changes the rythm/tempo then it is like starting all over again. If she keeps a steady beat (1,2,1,2,1,2) like a march then you won't be able to help yourself. She needs to keep that 1,2,1,2 beat going in her head - maybe it would be easier for her to think of a song and keep in beat with it... You need to communicate all this as perfectly normal and put her mind at ease. Was she good at bike riding the first time she jumped on? Can anybody drive a car just by hopping in the seat the first time? NO!

You need to relax. No breath holding, no legs stiff pointing toes stuff. don't try too hard.

sltkr2000

do not worry about, tell her since it was your first, you where feeling uncomfortable, and the next time yoiu will be more relaxed, and enhoy the moment, tell her how it feels while getting the bj, and let her know when she hits your spot, and concentrate on her, look her in her eyes buddy.. women love a man that looks them in thier eyes as they please him...

and vise versa..

macmanmike6100

Definitely try being noisy. I don't think even men realize this but just like we like to hear women moan and groan, women like it, too. Although it doesn't feel very natural to me (it's starting to), I make noise for my girlfriend during sex and she loves it.

Try that, too, and try talking with her to tell her what's on your mind. Communication is, as always, the key.

blackdas

One thing I don't understand is...how can someone not come from getting a bj, especially if you are attracted to the girl?