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Old 05-04-2009, 08:10 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Craven Morehead's Avatar
 
TFLN: texts from last night

texts from last night

I assume alcohol was involved.

Quote:
(857): Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Quote:
(662): I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
(662): He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
(1-662): You have my attention.
Quote:
(214): dude. I'm so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce's mom
(214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
(972): pete, this is still bryce's mom
Quote:
(617): I cannot find my penis.
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Old 05-05-2009, 11:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator.
 
SSJTWIZTA's Avatar
 
Location: Windiwana
haha.

pete fucked up.
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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller
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Old 05-05-2009, 11:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
She's Actual Size
 
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Location: Central Republic of Where-in-the-Hell
Oh, Pete. You aren't going to hear the end of this. Ever.
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"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
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Old 07-04-2009, 11:44 AM   #4 (permalink)
Here
 
World's King's Avatar
 
Location: Denver City Denver
I love this site... I've submitted a few in the past few weeks. Not this one... but it is funny.

Quote:
(615): I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
(1-615): Anal.
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Old 07-04-2009, 06:48 PM   #5 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Pogue Mahone's Avatar
 
Location: Denver, Colorado
(908): i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"

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I still wave at the dots on the shore
And I still beat my head against the door
I still rage and wage my little war
I'm a shade and easy to ignore
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Old 07-07-2009, 07:50 AM   #6 (permalink)
Forming
 
Punk.of.Ages's Avatar
 
Location: ....a state of pure inebriation.
Quote:
(224): So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Haha, this sites awesome!
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"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike
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Old 07-07-2009, 08:01 AM   #7 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Jozrael's Avatar
 
Quote:
(206): Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.

(970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
(303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.

(973): On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?


(973): Plan B is the new Plan A

(973): I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?

Last edited by Jozrael; 07-07-2009 at 09:55 PM..
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