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Old 02-04-2008, 11:19 AM   #1 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
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Location: upstate
da bear

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings."

The bear goes to the end of the bar and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."

The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."
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- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
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Old 02-04-2008, 11:52 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Central Central Florida
Yeah, okay. I snickered.
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Old 02-04-2008, 01:18 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Not bad...not bad.
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Old 02-04-2008, 03:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
Comment or else!!
 
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Location: Home sweet home
I love the alliterations.
I don't get the punch line though....
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Old 02-04-2008, 04:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
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Location: upstate
that was a bar bitch you ate...

or, barbiturate...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Last edited by uncle phil; 02-05-2008 at 02:31 PM..
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Old 02-04-2008, 05:08 PM   #6 (permalink)
Comment or else!!
 
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Location: Home sweet home
*looks up barbiturate*

Ohhhhhhhhh. NOW I get it.
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Old 02-05-2008, 06:54 AM   #7 (permalink)
Shade
 
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Location: Belgium
unexpected groaner-pun
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Old 02-08-2008, 05:02 PM   #8 (permalink)
Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator.
 
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Location: Windiwana
heres another bear/bar joke that will make you groan.

A bear walks into a bar and says, "I want a bourbon and............... coke."
The bartender asks "what's with the huge pause?"
The bear says, "Oh, I've had them all my life."
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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
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Old 02-08-2008, 05:08 PM   #9 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
oh...my...god...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 02-10-2008, 10:06 AM   #10 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
See what you started, Phil?
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Old 02-11-2008, 02:48 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Huge pause? Talk about a groaner
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