Pickup Lines

Here’s a classic that I can’t take any credit for:

 

Nice shoes.
Wanna fuck?

 

Now that's a nerdy pick-up line!

 

"You should should find something to drop off on Saturday, I'll have the house to myself."

Not so much a pick up line as a direct offer. Oh, BTW, it was directed to me (seriously...I was more surprised then than you are now). I was married, she was married, my wife & I were friends with her mother, & we were sort of friends with her husband.


"If you want to talk I'm a good listener." This line worked beautifully, if my original goal had been having many female "just friends."



Paging @MeltedMetalGlob.

 

You do understand I may potentially dominate this thread, provided we're talking bad pickup lines?

('cuz as we all know, nothing works for me..)

 

I don't have any pickup lines because that is not how my brain works.
Being demi means I can't be sexually attracted to a woman until I am mentally attracted and I have no idea or control over when that will happen.
Also I didn't until recently that being didn't mean I had fallen in love with someone.
It certainly could be part of it, or what people think of as crushes but it's not the same thing.
I've said this, with variations, to only three women and married two of them.
The complete lack of punctuation is real because I'm saying this as fast as I can for fear they are going to shut me down and run away.

"I know we have been close friends for years and you were flirting with me when we first met but I didn't realize it but I do now and that you have since gotten into a relationship a very nice guy but something happened and I have fallen madly and passionately in love with you please please please understand I don't expect anything from you because of it but I just had to tell or my heart would burst out of my chest."

 

This part I feel. I've been that way for a while; I would have had a few more awful relationships in my past if I had wanted to be with someone with an annoying personality. I need to feel that connection first, then she becomes hot.

Going back on topic, here's an oldie but a goodie:

 

I read all of the PU lines to my wife. This' the one that made her laugh and cover her face.

 

Try this one on her:


The whole Catholic schoolgirl/whore-nun bit is really not my thing, but is certainly good material for this thread!

 

Hmm...no. My wife is religious, her father was a volunteer Deacon, then later an ordained minister. Also she works at a private [The World's Richest Religion] school.

Erotic art showing nuns enjoying sex with demons appeals to me ...I'm not sure why .

 

I never had to verbalize that line.

 

I heard this one somewhere, decided to include it:

 

I just couldn't resist the Optimistic rating.