The Anatomy of a Perfect Woman (not really...)

Bingo. Exactly.

 

I collaborated with my boyfriend Sig on this, so it's a mixture of answers. I thought there ought to be at least one female viewpoint here:

1. I laugh at his jokes, sure. He has a dry and subtle sense of humor, sometimes depends more on timing than anything else. He loves to notice absurdities. Just what I like.
Loud and brash, hit you over the head with it humor I find more annoying than funny. And he laughs at my silly puns and word plays. Sometimes asking for an explanation, since English isn't his first language.

2. I've always liked older guys. He's ten years older than me, 51 and 41. He says age doesn't matter so much as attitude.

3. He likes my smile, which I think is dorky. I don't like my smile in pictures, but I have what Sig calls an infectious grin. He has an ear-to-ear grin that I find irresistible. We can both be playful and make funny faces.

4. He loves my big (natural) tits. I do too. They've be a big part of my personality since I was sixteen. Sig agrees that the picture looks like implants. My three years as a topless dance convinced me that nearly all men like big boobs. Especially if not accompanied by a lot of other fat.

5. Sig admits to liking long legs. Mine are so short they barely reach the ground.

6. We kind of trade back and forth. Usually whomever asks the other one out on the date pays. But we're live together partners, so it gets kind of muddled. But he likes to open doors, and help me get into my winter coat, which is a big, puffy thing. Financially, we each are willing and able to pull our own weight. As an example, in household finances, he takes care of day-to-day, and I do capital expenditures. He has a good income, I have a high worth, but much less income. But we're both well off enough that money isn't a source of drama.

7. Sig says he doesn't pay attention to feet. Or shoes. I go along with that. I like boots. I rarely even wear heels. The instep on my left foot is higher than the right, so I don't easily wear slip-ons. I'll wear sandals, but I hate flip-flops. Having said all that, my feet are small. With my short legs, if I had big feet, I'd walk like a duck. Pretty much everything about me is small except my boobs and nose.

8. Intelligence with an inquiring mind trumps education, but we both have advanced degrees. Sig has a PhD. in Agronomy. I have a Master's in Economics. We're both insatiably curious about the world. But more in a nerd way than as intellectuals. We both grew up on farms. He loves it that I understand mechanics, electricity, and things of that nature. Not the typical girl stuff. He's as comfortable tearing into a truck motor as sitting at a computer. I love his strong calloused hands.

9. I don't look good in red. Unfortunately, because of Nebraska Cornhuskers, red is unavoidable here in Lincoln.

10. I have a 23" waist and narrow hips. Sig loves my little butt. My curves are mostly uhh... upstairs! Sig (jokingly, I think) says he'd love to meet a tall, skinny, red-head, with big tits and lots of money.

11. Sig talks about red-heads, but likes my light brown hair, about the same color as his. But he waxes poetic about my red pubes. (I don't wax at all.)

Really, only four or five of these traits are strictly anatomical. Some are straight personality, others mixed.


I might have to start a thread about "The Anatomy of the Perfect Man"
There was a thread like that (I think I remember) on TFP a long time ago. I'll try to find it.

 

@Chris Noyb, I found it. In the old TFP4.0 Archive.

Here's a link to the thread:
10 Necessary Qualities in a Guy - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

And this is what I posted on Nov. 6, 2007.Along with an old joke about how men and women seeking a mate.
God, does that seem like a long time ago.

Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - 10 Necessary Qualities in a Guy

Some great lists here. I don't know about ten. When it comes to lists, I usually end up with too many or not enough.

This is what is important to me now, at age 31. I know that my list would be different if I wrote it at age 20 or 25.

1) If you want me to look twice at you, you have to be, first of all, get this, non-negotiable, chiseled into concrete--AN ADULT. I’ve known men who were adult at age twenty, others with no chance at age fifty.
2) Intelligent and inquiring.
3) Emotionally stable and socially competent. Don't tell me you love me on the first date.
4) Financially responsible.
5) Spiritually engaged and tolerant. Don’t diss my faith, and I won’t diss your lack of same. I’m surprised at the disdainful intolerance of some atheists.
6) Emotionally supportive and unafraid of commitment.
7) Yes, all those chick things that guys don't want to talk about.
8) Peter Pan? Go away!
9) The jealous, the possessive, the druggy, the practicing alcoholic need not apply. (Sorry, Sultana, I know you wanted positives. I just have to keep some of these “deal breakers” in mind. I’ve let infatuation blind me to them before.)
10) Little stuff that is important to me now, that maybe wasn’t when I was twenty-one: You should be able to do your own laundry, pick up after yourself, balance your checkbook, clean your catbox, and cook. Take a shower every day. Still living at home at twenty-one is OK, at thirty-one it's not. I might end up being your friend, girlfriend, wife, significant other, maybe even an occasional fuckbuddy, but I will not be your maid or your Mom.

What I look for now, is someone who might turn out to be a good partner. You do not need to be drop dead gorgeous, (or even handsome) a neat freak, buff, rich, or have a big dick. You don't need to be an Einstein, but if you have some interests besides trucks, NASCAR, football, beer, the NBA, and my tits, that would be nice.
Lindy

I’m also attaching this ABSOLUTELY ON TOPIC joke.

Men are so much easier to please...
The New Husband Store

A new store that sells husbands opened a couple of years ago in
New York City. A store where a woman may go to choose a husband.
A sign at the entrance tells how the store operates:

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the
quality of the men increases as the shopper ascends each flight of stairs.
There is a description of the men on the door of each floor.

There is, however, a catch: Once you enter a floor, you must choose a man from that particular floor. You may not go up a floor, or back down a floor.
You must choose a husband or leave the building!

So, a woman goes to The New Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
"Good," she thinks, but knows she can do better, and heads up the stairs.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
"All right!" she thinks, but doesn't think that is enough, and walks up to the next floor.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and
help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!, these men are ALMOST up to my standards."

So, she heads up the stairs to the fifth floor where the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help
with the housework, love to shop, are intelligent, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so, so, tempted to enter the door, but instead goes to the sixth floor
where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are the 8,354,627th woman to visit this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that some women are impossible to please. Please exit right, and thank you for shopping at The Husband Store.



At the same time, The New Wives Store opened across the street.

The first floor sign says:
All the women on this floor are good looking, and love sex.

The second floor sign says:
All the women on this floor are good looking, love sex, and have large breasts.

The third floor sign reads:
All the women on this floor are good looking, love sex, have large breasts, and have just won a million dollar lottery.

Thus far, the fourth through sixth floors have never been visited.