Is porn ruining our love lives?

"Yo, kid, masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of, but it's nothing to be proud of either, and I surely don't want to see it from you. I know you're developing a nice relationship with your hand , there, but why don't the pair of ya get a frickkin room?"

 

I remember when I was 15 I owned one magazine (which I got by paying the newsagent double the shop price) and I knew (I actually still know) the names of all of the girls in it (Samantha was my favorite as she wore glasses throughout the shoot). Nowadays you just type "tits" into Google or whatever and can instantly get access to pretty much an unlimited amount of porn, hardcore, illegal, whatever else.

Maybe its age and experience now, but at 15 I remember finding my copy of Mayfair quite arrousing.

Nowadays I can see a lesbian threesome, full on hardcore or whatever, and its barely interesting. And yet I was FB friends with a minor pornstar (actually through a scrabble game weirdly) or someone convincingly posing as her and given that she wasnt expecially famous that seemed unlikely - and just cos Id played FB scrabble and sent a few messages back and forth, seeing video's with her in was again quite arrousing.

A girl I went to school with also once appears in a copy of Escort (lower end pon mag) when she was 19. She was nothing special really and I have probably seen 1000 better looking girls naked on the net. But to be 100% honest I would pay £500 for a copy of that mag even now.

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I dont know if this adds anything to what was being discussed or just says something unusual about myself.

 

Nothing unusual about yourself. When I was a senior in high school, I found out one of the juniors had, using a fake ID, been hired as a part-time stripper at a club in Hollywood. I went (with my fake ID) to check her out, even though she was way too skanky for me to actually be interested in.

Ultimately, looking at random naked chicks (or whatever your pleasure is) is fun, but seeing someone you know personally (even slightly) naked/doing it is unparalleled awesomeness.

Which is, I guess, a tangential exemplar of the relevant point, which is that porn cannot really replace the experience of meeting someone, coming to know them, and fucking them.

 

I don't think I've ever met or known anyone who has been a stripper or done porn. If I did, they didn't tell me about it. I've always wondered what people who have been in porn tell their friends or family that sees them. Must not be a deal because there are sure a lot of them on the internet!! Thanks

 

I think Porn desensitizes us to random, ambient sex and nudity, while allowing us to appreciate sex and nudity from folks we share more or less intimacy (in a general sense) even more.

 

I think Strange Famous hit on something here. Porn involving those who are something more than strangers - whether an aquaintance or a celebrity - is much more interesting than the run-of-the-mill stuff. Face it, if we hadn't been at least somewhat familiar with Paris Hilton, her video wouldn't have been interesting at all. These are folks we're - at some level anyway - used to seeing in our living rooms from time to time. It's why the Vanna White issue of Playboy and the Madonna issue of Penthouse were such big sellers - we'd invited both into our homes on a regular basis. Seeing them naked became titillating.

From an intellectual basis, the celebrity sex tape facinates me. In order to be released in the US, both participants (assuming it's not a threesome or moresome) have to consent to release of the tape, either before it's filmed or afterwards. All the talk of people being "devastated" by the release of their sex tape (and I'm thinking about the Kardashians here) are simply putting up a front. They were paid handsomely for their signatures on the the release form, and no studio would ever release a sex tape without that release, signed and witnessed. If they did put a tape out without consent, the person shown would receive damages with the low end starting in the millions and going upwards exponentially as sales rose.

Sex tapes exist because there's a market for them. The celebrities that put them out are either trying to regain fame or capture more of it. We buy it because the folks in it aren't strangers. Just as most of us wouldn't particularly want to engage in completely anonymous sex (at least regularly), we prefer to watch porn with folks we know.

 

I've got mixed feelings on this. Porn isn't ruining my sex life or my wifes. I'm still totally into her despite the years together and in a lot of ways shes my porn star.

Where I wonder if it hurts is when the guys below average looks, so is his wife, which is, somewhere around 50% of the world but he's jerking it to 9's and 10's online, if some of those guys, especially if they start doing this before they have a serious LTR have a hard time adapting from porn to reality.

When you spend your formative yaers getting off to perfect bodies and faces, I wouldn't be surprised if it changes you. I have no proof of this but I do wonder.

 

There is a higher bar for sure. And I bet the difficulties and work it takes for a relationship with a below average girl isn't worth it when there is the perfect hot porn star who is ready to go and is willing to do crazy things.

Dating is much slower than porn too. That is one thing I have noticed. Most (all?) girls aren't ripping off their clothes as soon as they get back to their place. At least for the non-Bachelor TV show average guy. But that is what TV, porn, and friends talk about and suggest is the norm.

 

Porn is entertaining and we both enjoy it but it has had little or no effect on our love/sex life. If anything it has enhanced it.

 

Well, speaking from personal experience from doing residential maintenance for almost five years, not once did I ever get an offer from any of the comely female tenants.


If that doesn't put one on the path to straight & narrow, I don't know what to tell a guy.

 

Dude sometimes a rolling pin isn’t just a rolling pin. Nudge nudge, see what I’m saying?
Maybe you’re not reading the signals properly......

 

I was listening to a psychology talk on marriage today and they were quoting another paper which basically said Disney was the most dangerous thing to marriage in the US due to unrealistic expectations.

We at times have turned our married life into a damn good porno, but turning it into a Disney story *pffft* good luck. On the other hand at least my wifes mother isn't dead like all the traditional Disney Princesses.

 

One can only hope?

Don't go there man... don't go there.

 

I believe it is. When I was 8 year old and used to visit my dad, he would go to work and leave hustler and penthouse laying around for me to look at, and videos as well. It skewed what I thought relationships and sex were about. It's taken a long time to come to the realization that those thoughts were wrong.

The mainstream and widespread access to porn has desensitized us as a society and make random sex the new normal it seems. This has the problem of making STI's a more prevalent thing. In the south, HIV and AIDS are the major players, where as when I was in the army in colorado it was clymidia. Herpes is also a more common one today as well.

I think if porn wasn't so wide spread, there would be more focus on feelings and actual intimacy than just hooking up to fuck.

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Yes it is. My kids dad has online sexual addiction. Ex.
My soulmate who I love dearly. heterosexual.
Left me for a 29 year old webcam girl. Now he’s bisexual and on cam. Porn has brought a lot of distress and what is normal is now questionable. It’s dangerous to younger generation. Creating sexual predator behaviour


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