Pointless Announcements

My wife just emailed me this picture and said "SO how you made me feel this morning"


*get down with my bad self*

 

Wrigleyville is tons of fun.

I really must get back to Chicago one of these days. Lately, I've had a profound hankering for the big city. A week would do, and then I'd be fine again. I also miss my amonkie.

 

We finally decided to get with a couple of years ago and upgrade to Microsoft Office 2010. About 10 minutes in to the 4 hour webinar for training I wanted to shoot myself in the face. It's gone downhill from there.

I don't need a software consultant telling me that he's had Rueben sandwiches at exactly 136 different restaurants and each one was different. I also don't need to find out that his dad is Irish, his mom is Swiss, he speaks French, German, Spanish, and English, and he used to be a farmer to understand the new features in MS Word.

 

I don't mean to get my cardigan in a bunch here, but holy fuck....

We're about to colonize Mars, and people are still hitting the spacebar more than once after a fucking sentence.

Stop it with that shit, people. What are you typing on a Smith fucking Corona?

 

There are probably 10-12 people from my company, in this training session. Most of us are in different locations that rarely or never work together, so we don't really know each other too much, if at all. I know maybe 2-3 of the people online. One of the people I know, and who probably knows everyone online since he travels to each location regularly, is the Senior VP of Commercial (close to $1B annually in sales, so it's a "real" VP title). Sr VP of Commercial has asked 3-4 questions through the webinar to make sure he understood how things work. Mostly good questions, but almost no one else is asking anything, we're all just trying to endure without sticking a fork in our eyes. One of the other employees isn't bright enough to mute his speakerphone. During the last break he mentioned the Senior VP of Commercial by name to someone walking by and said "I can't figure out if he's really smart or really confused". The webinar shows whose speaker is broadcasting sound any time someone speaks. That could get interesting for him.

 

I don't know if you realize this, but when you were in diapers we hadn't even been to the moon. I'm just gonna put that out there.

You double-click hotlinks on your "CPU," don't you?

Did you learn on a Smith Corona or an Underwood?

 

That's why I said "myself".

The VP is a very nice guy. Because a couple of my accounts fall under "National Accounts" oversight (several divisions across the country service several locations of the customer) I work directly with him a fair amount and we spend a decent amount of time together working with and entertaining customers. I really enjoy working with him, and I think he personally likes me. But even if I didn't like him I wouldn't suggest he's an idiot on a conference call with random people throughout the company. Mute is your friend.

 

I don't need a 6 minute description of the trainer's side business owning a greenhouse that does $2M in business a year, but doesn't make him much profit, and employs 85 people, while showing me the "to do" button for MS Outlook. Especially since I don't buy a greenhouse with $2M in revenue being able to employ 85 people. That math just doesn't make sense.

I also don't need to know that his fiancee has 23 items on his "honey do" list for the new house they just bought together.



If I have to listen to it, I'm going to make TFP at least feel a tiny fraction of my pain.

 

Who the fuck said anything about NASA's plans? It's obviously in the hands of 国家航天局 at this point.

Holy shit. Read a fucking newspaper. (Because I'm sure that news "on the internets" is too confusing for you to navigate.)

I will assume you're talking about Commodore BASIC.

Yeah, I thought so.