Fifty Shades of Choad: 9er and Baraka do chick lit crit

Yeah, it seemed pretty gentle. A little "Ow!" then a dozen orgasms. Why? Was yours like punching through the lid of a Rubbermaid food container?

I have no experience with hymens. Let some other guy lance that thing. I prefer my women like I prefer my vehicles: Broken in, ready to go... hard.

 

See, this is good. This book is pushing me to ask stupid questions that I'd never considered before.

Like asking my old lady what it was really like when some farm boy hopped on for the first time.

 

I agree with you snowy; thinking one wouldn't be able to walk quite right after a night like that. Hmmm...thinking back. Definitely!

This is great to just sit back and enjoy.

 

Um...yeah. I once heard someone refer to losing her virginity as, "like getting my twat impaled on a hockey stick." I don't remember it being especially painful (after the initial sharp pain), but there sure as hell were not multiple orgasms right away


Also: this book makes me NOT want to wear my Converse high tops anymore. And that makes me sad.

 

Snowy hit the nail (hymen?) on the head, only she had an orgasm sooner than I did. It hurt so bad my first time I couldnt understand what all the fuss was about and waited quite awhile before I could be talked into it again...but eh I was 16 what did I know lol

 

I could have posted this in the other "50 Shades" thread, but this one's more entertaining, anyway.

My mother, who works in a maternity ward, just announced that there will be a big baby boom coming this February. Why? She said that will be about nine months since "50 Shades of Gray" got released.

The entire family rolled their eyes/let out a collective groan, except my old lady, who had no idea the book existed. This is partly because she's out of touch, but mostly because when she became a mother, she made more room in her head for motherly wisdom by having the notion of "sex for pure pleasure" erased from her brain Johnny Mnemonic-style.

 

Yeah, go ahead and post whatever in this thread... I gave up trying to compartmentalize it.

+1 for the Johnny Mnemonic reference. And -11 for not having a mistress by now, MMG.

...

I'll continue to delve into the mysteries of this playful romp when I don't feel so... hmm... cranky?

 

She would be wrong, these books came out way before June lol

 

My first time, in the back of a car, one broken hymen and ten seconds later I asked the fatal question 'was that it?'
It hurt but not really badly, but I thought it was so boring after all the hype I certainly didn't rush to do it again.
I was 14 .

 

What? Everyone knows I have lady wood for MeltedMetalGlob and his mad photoshop skills.

If not him, I'm afraid that I'll be forced to get my TFP hymen broken by the_jazz in a dirty, hourly motel room in Toronto while visiting for a canuck meet up. We're way over do for angry-hate sex. Besides, I'm not lucky enough to have Lish tend to my loins.

 

FIFY

 

All this talk of cherry poppin' brought to mind a new possible definitely odd /thread blog humorous topic to play with:
"Not-so important questions you never wanted to ask or hear the answers"
> "Did it hurt when Jim Reno had that surgery to change his name to Janet Reno and eventually make history as the first female General Attorney?"

/*end threadjack, feel free to resume discussion of the greatest love story ever written since Danny Glover and Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon or our two heroes in Tango and Cash.*/

 

True fact: I always think of Plan 9 and Baraka Guru as Tango and Cash.

 

My Dear Squirrel

There's a good chance that ill be on the US West coast in the next 6 months (If they'll let me in). Could you refrain from having the_jazz de-flower you so i can at least get first dibs?

 

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

 

I think that the written word has deafened people for the first time in history.

I'll do my best to keep it in my pants, but you know I'm viral.

[cue the Baraka_Guru machine]

 

Gross