Travel Rules

Never pass up an opportunity to empty your bladder.

 

Rule 1: 1 pair of socks, 1 shirt and 1 boxershorts per day of travel.

Rule 2: Never agree to business trips longer than 7 days per piece.

Rule 3: When it's a really nice airport (such as Changi or DXB), embrace getting to know other places and go for a 4-hour stopover. Otherwise, always go for no stopovers when possible.

Rule 4: Always avoid sitting next to South Asians, or groups of Middle Easterners.

Rule 5: Business class always trumps Economy and First. First is a waste of money and only carries Trust Fund retards who sit around with their stupid big-ass headphones like it means something.

Rule 6: Always pass up airline food, if it containes questionable ingredients.

Rule 7: Carry as few things as possible and travel light.

Rule 8: If you think you need the sleep in the plane before you arrive at your destination, for the love of God: Sleep.

Rule 9: DO NOT PUT YOUR SUIT IN A RUCKSACK. IT WILL GET WRINKLY AS FUCK.

 

I'm a pack rat so I leave with only carry-on and return with at least one checked bag.

 

Travel light. I always have done so but when I've flown overseas with my son on standby, I had to take that to an entirely new level. It's all in the carry on luggage. 5 days in Europe in Nov. is possible, difficult but possible.

Leave early, almost impossible to make up lost time.

Eat well. Meaning its not an invitation to over eat. Be sensible.

Drink plenty of fluids. Water, beer, vodka and bourbon.

 

There's something about air travels that equals "Bloody Mary" to me. I think it comes from years ago when drinks were free and I often traveled on early flights.

 

fill up the car with fuel the day before heading to the airport because you KNOW you're going to procrastinate and leave it to the last minute before heading out the door
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never stay with relatives for more than 2 days
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always bring something back to say thank you to those you love. even if its only cost you pennies.
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dont sit next to me, and i wont sit next to you..deal?

i always try and stop over anywhere i can. its a free opportunity to see somewhere knew. in fact it was always a travel rule for me to always travel with a differenr airline everytime so that i get to stop over in as many places as possible

 

I usually check a bag when I'm flying, depending on how long I'll be gone. But I always, ALWAYS take at least one outfit change and basic shower stuff in my carry on. Also: leave room in the checked bag--if it's a vacation, there will be souvenirs, if it's a trip home, there will be gifts.

If I'm traveling without my dogs, I leave all of their vet information with the sitter. If they come with me, the file goes in my backpack.

And, even though I'm not religious, I always carry my Saint Christopher's medal with me when I travel.

 

Absolutely.

Also, as someone whose location means getting most anywhere in the world involves a stopover somewhere, always pack at least one spare set of clothing and a couple of days' worth of undies/socks in your hand luggage. If that first flight goes late, your baggage probably won't make the second flight, as I have learned to my cost a couple of times.

 

Some random thoughts:

I always prepare for trips like I'm going to Mars. Do a complete layout well in advance to allow me to see everything and adjust as things evolve. Clothes rolled. Toiletries in plastic zipper bags. Necessary documents in zipper bags in two locations. Passport and ID around my neck inside my shirt. If I'm going to a shitty location, I often seal everything in plastic zipper bags or vacuum bags. When picking out clothes, I always pack more underwear and socks than needed because my underwear doubles as running shorts as well as swimwear and clean, dry socks are the single most important thing ever if you're in a place where there isn't AC and laundry facilities consist of whatever soap you can find to put in a bucket.

A super dorky travel manpurse is a useful thing given the hassle of modern airport security. Put everything that would normally be on your body in there (minus passport and ID), toss it on the machine and walk through security. I also have travel shoes that have bungee laces so I don't have to do anything but slide them back on when I'm doing the security dance. I always wear long sleeve shirts and pants when I travel for protection from the sun/bugs and to avoid offending whatever culture might be offended by such things (and I'm a dorky scrawny white guy). Have backup sunglasses.

Long car trip? Car oil changed, fueled up, tires pressure checked (including spare), fluids topped off. GPS plus paper road atlas w/ printed directions. I often order a pizza or two because cold pizza is totally the best car trip food ever as you can eat it with one hand without making too much of a mess and it keeps you full and from stopping until your bladder screams for mercy. All luggage should be secured in such a manner that, if should you have to slam on the brakes or if the car were to roll, it won't turn into a 60 pound missile that either clobbers the back of your head or ends up flying out a window. I also have the habit of bringing the things I'm going to want when I get there (snacks and drinks) since it is often easier to just buy the stuff in advance and save myself the headache of having to run to the store for Gatorade and Cheerios at 3 AM when I arrive. Always have baby wipes.

Bring good music. I still make mix CDs occasionally, myself. Nothing worse than driving through Buttfuck, WV at 10:30 on a Sunday night and getting only static and Jesus, Save Us music. And bring a book. They're cheap, light weight and operate without electricity and can be used anywhere.

Electronics such as laptops and cameras are sealed in plastic zipper bags in their own padded containers when not in use and packed in containers that allow them to be abused by apathetic luggage handlers or your clumsy spouse. If I have power cords, USB cables, etc. they're kept with the appropriate device at all times during transit in the padded container. Nothing worse than showing up on vacation and realizing you don't have your USB cable to upload pictures to FaceySpace or that your laptop power cord is 600 miles away. Foreign travel? Appropriate plug adapters are a must.

Pretend you're MacGyver. A folding knife, a flashlight with extra batteries and a roll of duct tape are too useful not to have in your vehicle at all times.

If traveling with firearms, it is absolutely necessary to know the laws of the States you are traveling through so as to not turn a speeding ticket into a free fingerprinting adventure should you get bullied by the bored local LEOs. If you can't carry it on your person, carrying your disassembled weapon and empty magazines / ammunition in separate locked containers in two different areas of the vehicle (preferably the trunk) is usually the way to go.

 

But not nearly as bad as you quoting my entire evolving post to say that.

Hey-oh!

Some of us get paid a decent amount of money to think and live like that.

 

..and plastic bags to seperate the old smelly clothes from the unworn ones. nothing worse than putting on a new t-shirt (and the rest of the clothes in the bag), only to have it smell like it came out of the laundry basket.

..and running shoes and running gear always go first. no better way to see a new place than to do it on foot. ive been doing this a lot the last few days. im away for work and about 1000km from home right now.

if im going somewhere really important and i know i need to not forget anything ( like going hiking in cold cold places) i do what Plan9 does and place all my gear on the bed starting head to toe

head

- balaclava
- sunnies
-sunscreen
-hat

body
- thermal top
-t-shirt
- long sleeve top
- windproof vest
- thick weather resistant jacket
- waterproof shell

legs
- undearwear
- thermal pants
- fleece pants
- cargo pants with zip-offs that become shorts
- waterproof shell pants

feet
- socks - liners
-socks - thick hiking socks
- shoes - waterproof and non waterproof

 

Since airlines have instituted bag fees, I have become great at traveling with only two carry-ons. 3 weeks in a foreign country with one 'bag' a DSLR, lenses and 17" laptop even.

I buy a postcard everywhere my company sends me. The stack is getting very large.

If there is something to do where I am at, I'm not allowed to stay in the hotel and watch TV.

I'm not allowed to get sick.

Pick the window seat when possible.

Don't miss connecting overseas flights, especially if you are changing carriers...

Always try to take a few days of vacation in some far off place if you finish the job you went there for.

Noise canceling headphones are worth the money.

Sleep on overnight flights, even if it means changing you sleep cycle ahead of time for the new timezone you are going to.

 

A week before leaving, create a Word Document = Holiday_stuff.doc
Generate a list of things to take, things that might need to be bought to bring back .. and for whom, and routine for not forgetting to bring back things you took there.

Let it remain open in a corner or your monitor, so it gets added to in between forum posts, bouts of Unreal Tournament, and assorted wanderings aroudn the house. Eg, I come back from the bathroom, even just a day before leaving, and add to the list an item ... a No Brainer item that would ahve given me a DOH! moment when I'd have arrived at the destination without it.

This document becomes easier to create with each next holiday. Just gets brought out and fine tuned. EG .... Seperate plastic bags for new and used stuff ... YES ... I did that this year. HOWEVER .... Plan9 's " I always pack more underwear and socks than needed" I did NOT do ... I had not factored that a gruelling day walk would make attractive showering and getting changed into new underwear for the evening. In fact, I wasn't until a lady friend said she was going to do that. Sooo I was now out of step with my underwear and discovered the HIDEOUSNESS of washing stuff in a place so humid that it will not hang dry AND ... the communal drying machine ... doesn't. Arrrrrgh. THAT's on the list for next year.

My bag is finalized the night before. Eg, on the day of leaving, it is not OK to have my wash and shave, then to pack that stuff into my washbag and then into the main bag. No. Duplicates are already in the washbag, which is in the main bag.

The last thing the night before: I have subjected myself to a "Let's imagine I've walked out of the door ... WHAT am I likely to have forgotten that will make me go BUGGGER and run back into the house to get it". Also, "Let's imagine I've arrived at the destination ... WHAT am I likely to have forgotten that will make me go BUGGGGGGGGERSOD and waste time trying to buy locally. " Bloody shaving foam. no bloody BodyShop, therefore had to get some fecking poisonous shaving foam a general store.


And a few 'must have's to bring:
Plastic bags and a couple of bin liners.
Swiss Army knife
Sewing kit
Lenser Head torch as well as bloody powerful keyring torch
Antiseptic and bandages
Zink tape to head blisters off at the pass
AH .. Bring Own Soap. Guest soap makes me ill to the sinuses and stings like a bee. Perfume. Ugh.

 

You should have seen the bag he brought just to have dinner. I believe there were zip ties, Dumas, maybe a tarp or something....?
Enough that we were plotting how to harness Canadian geese to provide Niner with a travois-style ride back to the hotel, should he drink too much Jack and Coke.
And before anyone gets all hot and bothered by zip ties, they were small, I promise.

My travel rules....

• At least two extra pairs of underwear. And an extra pair of shoes.
• All jewelry and non-essentials go in a small case in my carry-on before leaving the house, so there's no hold up in the TSA line.
• When driving, pack bottles of water and/or beer depending on how many people are in the car and where we're going. The drive home requires a stop at Cigar City Brewery for extra preparation.
• If trip is in a hotel for any length of time or across the country, the neti pot, echinacea tea, and hand sanitizer is always packed.
• Pack herbal tea bags... great for puffy eyes after drinking a nice hot cuppa to wind down at night after travel.
• When driving, gun in glovebox or console, pepper spray in the little divot under the stereo.
• Always, ALWAYS get the window seat. Especially on cross country flights. And bring a jacket/blanket. And close-toed shoes. Dress for Alaska, even if you're going to Cuba.
• Be polite to the flight attendants, gas station attendants, service people in general. Even if they're grumpy. You never know when you might need them.
• Always have entertainment that involves headphones. Ayn Rand cannot block out screaming infants.