sex toys.

Hi, SF ... I hope things are settling down a bit, and that some of the sadness is receding, though I appreciate you've had a lot on your plate.

I'm glad that you're not a prude, because I'm about to say stuff that I'm going to get embarrassed about, because I AM a bit of a prude.

But I can't help noticing that in your last post, you were talking about whether sex toys are 'needed'.
Imagine, now, the possibility that they might not be needed, but simply be Wanted .... desired.
That life may be magnificent without them, but that their addition might, sometimes, make it even more magnificent.

Take your wanking, for example. Remember the feelings of some of your best wanks ever ... some of the variations and intensities. I'll wager some have been awesome .. and indeed, awesome in different ways. Awesome in their explosiveness, awesome in their build-up regardless of their explosiveness, some without buildup or explosiveness but a cum that distorts perception of time, and many more variations besides.

OK. Now, have you got a green scourer? you know, those fibrous pads for cleaning plates quicker and more thoroughly than with soft cloths? If you haven't, they're about £1:25 at ASDA. Don't get the no-name brands from pound shops ... they are soft fibres from the moment you buy them. ASDA's maintain a sense of grittiness for a long time - that's what you need. Cut an inch square, and rub a little oil into your nipples. Standard cooking oil is OK for everyday ecstasy, thick olive oil can give you a kind of dirty feeling, and saliva is good if you want to do a bit of delicate or intense teasing.

Hang on, though ... I'm getting ahead of myself. Basically, SF, next time you wank, find out which of your nipples is most sensitive, and gently explore with the scouring pad. I recommend digging in a little with the corner and holding it there, or folding and gently squeezing and rolling from time to time. Don't just give a few scrapes while deafening yourself with inner exclamations of outrage and exasperation. Tend your penis like a gardener his marrow the day before the flower show and probe your nipple, sometimes delicately, sometimes firmly with the scourer, and notice how it modifies the sensations in your groin.

Now, I'm not trying to put ideas in your head, because, whether you're sober or drunk when you remember this, you'll make your own decision ... and in absence of the green scourer, even fingernails will do, at a pinch ... the choice is always yours, and it will always affect the overall quality of your masturbation ... there are some EXTREMELY interesting nipple-groin connections, which I'm sure you're aware of, but which can be fine-tuned all the way up to eleven.

As long as you appreciate that WEIRDNESS is the correct feeling to feel, the first time you do anything.

Yes, I do appreciate you've said 'I just don't know if I could get passed the "this is weird" feeling'

"Weird" - SF ... remember the first time you masturbated? or remember those pre-pubescent time when your penis and balls began to promise, or at least hint at the direction of UnKnowns? Those very earliest times when touching yourself began to develop beyond primeval soup of 'holding my wee wee' into Quickenings more imposing than the best Christpher Lambert or Adrian Paul ever had to offer?
That was weird. So were the first ramping strokings towards you knew not what but had to continue without knowing why .... but the hunger ... there was a hunger unlike anything you had ever experience. Weird and Wow.

Eventually, there was a promise of ... something.
And that promise was fulfilled.

You had had your first orgasm and you were now this butterfly which the cattarpilar could never have imagined.
New circuits ... circuits which had been wired up since the beginning but had only now surged with electricity. They were now connected.
New. Weird ... weird until familiar, now, though by small steps established safely and in step with what you could eventually become comfortable with. Eventually. Not just now. Now, it's OK for it to feel weird.

Bloody strange if it DIDN'T feel weird. Premature comfort can be a very dangerous thing, so I'm glad you've got your safety warnings in place. Notice the moments of 'weird' and notice the moments of enhanced 'pleasure' ... acknowledge both and let them stack up.

As you explore yourself, you may well find some areas of pleasure that could take another person AGES to discover. I mean, when you're cooking, you can mess around in your own kitchen to your heart's content, adding ingredients and combining them in different ways ... some based on what you've done before, and others in totally new directions. You can constantly taste your developing creation. Is this not luxury? Is this not a pleasure distinct and different from sitting at the table until a plate is put in front of you?

And is there not an extra specialness about being in the kitchen with your partner ... each keeping and eye on their own and the other's part of the process? Remembering to stir their own and each other's pots? Getting their spoons out and tasting their own and each others dishes as the meal comes together? You feed yourselves and each other, as we sit at the same table, each other's guest and host, cooks and bottle-washers.

Take care.

 

Handcuffs can be painful if you pull on them too much or twist the wrong way. Most of the fuzzy cuffs you see in novelty shops are cheaply made and the fuzzy on them pads hardly at all. I prefer something wider like these:

They're much better made and more comfortable, but you'll pay more for the quality. Probably not worth it for someone who isn't much into that sort of thing, but a good long-term investment if you are. And I believe you can find neoprene ones that work almost as well and aren't as expensive as the nice leather ones.

 

Regular metal cuffs can cause nerve damage if you twist the wrong way.

 

These look pretty sweet. Especially for those like me being allergic to nickel.

 

Holy shit, Zen! That was priceless!

 

Just caught up on this thread. Epic is all i can say

 

grumpyolddude ... thanks I generally post when I am to tired to self-censor beyond spelling and grammar.


Now for a bit of exciting news:

Lovehoney is an online supplier with whom I have had more corespondence with in the last year than I would ever have imagined two years ago.
They are a nice bunch of people with an amazing customer service ethic.

A couple of days ago, I saw they have been the subject of a British Channel 4 documentary.
Here is the link. I wonder is there are any countries for whom it does not work.
More Sex Please, We're British - 4oD - Channel 4

 

Damn! "The service is not currently available in your area."

 

TWO THINGS:

ONE:

Wow. I was just thinking about getting the missus a set of these for wrist and ankle (and matching belt and collar. She seems to enjoy, and I know I enjoy her enjoyment) for our anniversary. Please recommend source and brand and things to look for in the description. I was thinking if they weren't $40 or more for a pair they're probly not worth it.

TWO:
Ben Wa Balls. Recommendations? Planning on getting some of these for her too.

 

Sex toys are not an indictment that you are somehow lacking as a lover, they are simply one more way to have pleasure, with or without your partner. Why would you think that if your partner got a sex toy it was because she wasn't satisfied with you but not use the same reasoning in considering a sex toy for yourself? That she is enough for you so you wouldn't need one?

I am all for bringing whatever toy into bed that adds to the fun and pleasure. The more orgasms the better.

 

On-thread, off current topic-- I've recently been going through a grouping of glass dildos I dug out of one of my ex's studio boxes. I found this amazing double-penetration glass dildo that's amazing. It's really intended for you+a partner to work it, but I manage.

I'm also learning that glass dildos are absolutely amazing for stretching out the ass. They're smooth, round, and there's next to no friction. I went from barely being able to take two fingers in my ass (without cutting off the blood flow and putting them to sleep-- true story) to doing a good two-inch diameter dilation with ease. Makes anal sex so much better.

/needs new hobbies.

 

<coughs awkwardly>

I bought a cock ring once for the SO , but on opening the package it didn't work. I bought it in Asda's, yes they do sell cock rings along with flavoured lube. I took it back the next day with receipt and after I glowed purple with embarrassment they exchanged it.

The SO didn't like it, he said the feeling was too intense, I loved the sensation of using one.

While discussing sex and toys in work the other day, the four men in my office were all intrigued to listen to us three women talking, when we mentioned cock rings and Asda, not one of them knew what a cock ring was. Myself and a colleague went to Asda at lunch break and bought a cock ring, this was oooh and ahhhed at by the said four men, who called the male workers from the other offices to look at our cock ring. The only one who knew what it was and how to use it was a gay guy who swears by using two of them at a time. The lack of knowledge about them was surprising.

So my question is, how many of you do or have used a cock ring. (and was in bought in a supermarket)

 

Wow...thanxz for reminding me. It's been so long since I've used one that I have all but forgotten about it. I don't think I've ever used one while with my wife. But just by myself it was kinda mind-bending in its intensity. Certainly I must still have one around here somewhere. Think I'll see if I can find it.

I wonder if it helps if one is willing to stretch and blur the line between pain and sexual gratification to appreciate the cockring.

 

Do they hurt when you wear one ??

 

If memory serves, no but almost, or yes but just barely. Or a bit more than just barely....it's a really blurry line. If I can find it and remember to use it in the next day or two, I'll report back.

 

Two minutes in so to speak my SO asked me if it was doing anything for me and if I would mind if he took it off. He didn't complain about pain, he just didn't care for it. His only comment was that it felt silly. Perhaps because it was a vibrating ring? I was neutral on the matter, it wasn't a thrill. In the bin it went.

 

I read in a magazine that plastic sex toys can be bad for youre crotch health.......which sucks for me since my favorite toy is plastic coated
but I put a condom on it and that must be a-okay Im thinking. I think they should sell lube in pump bottles like they do for hand lotion.

 

As long as you're not allergic to the material the condom's mad of, I imagine you're good to go.
As to the lube, I could have sworn I've seen it in large pump bottles before. Though, to be fair, I don't know where one would find such an item. Perhaps next time you use up a bottle of lotion, you could refill it with your lubricant of choice?
Entirely off-topic, your name actually sounds familiar. By any chance, however slim, are you now or have you ever been a radio personality in central Indiana?

 

They do sell lubes in pump bottles, I bought a cherry and strawberry flavoured one last week, also the aloe vera one is good if things get a bit sore. Durex brand. They are water based as opposed to oil based. The cherry one is yummm but the strawberry one felt sticky after awhile, tasted nice but left a residue. But the joint shower after is fun

I do not think I could give up my rabbit even if it came with a health warning.