What things have you said that hurt your SO?

I thought about this last night as I was lying awake in bed wondering why she's been with me for as long as she has.

Things I have said:

• We were messing around and teasing each other and I accidentally called her fat. She's 90 lbs and very self conscious.
• During a fight she was repeatedly misunderstanding me and her frustration escalated everytime I tried to explain it differently. (She's from Thailand, and hates having to communicate in English). I said to her, "You'll make a crap teacher with that attitude" and promptly turned around and walked out of the room.

I'll think of more immature things I've said later but tell me; what things have you said to your SO and really regretted them at the moment?

 

You know, this topic is pretty amusing when I think about it. I can honestly say that my current girlfriend has really benefited from all my previous relationships and the related fuck-ups. I can't think of a single thing I've said over years that really hurt her. Honestly, she's really the one with more of a defensive tongue knife and always apologizes later. We don't really have arguments. It's almost disturbing how calm I've been with all the big ticket disasters that have occurred since I started seeing her. Financial problems, health problems, job problems, etc. I'm a goddamn crisis ninja lately.

Just keep waiting for the Irrational-and-Loud Argument or to come home to some dude's socks under my coffee table but it hasn't happened yet.

I mean, I'm a huge asshole and have flexed said awesomeness before in extreme ways... but it just hasn't happened with this girl.

After spending my life with hormonal infidelity time bombs with all sorts of baggage, it's weird for it to be so calm.

God, what a boring relationship. You better go suck some dude's dick before I lose my sense of balance.

 

I have a very foul mouth, an inability to keep the things I think of to myself, and a fairly short temper when it comes to the ladies...

This is a poor combination.

Just a couple of the gems that have occured in previous relationships:

This is one I remember well because of the very long fight that it bred...
Her: Look at that girl. She's so fat!
Me: Judge much?
Her: Well, maybe she should work out or something.
Me: Well, maybe you shouldn't act like such a cunt...

Here's a fairly recent one that occured as we were driving, she reaches to the back of the car to hand the kid a bottle, and almost runs into an oncoming car...
Me: Jesus fuck! Let me hand her the bottle. You need to watch the god damn road.
Her: I was just trying to give it to her. She's hungry.
Me: I'm real sure she'll give a flying fuck about that bottle after you kill her. Take some fucking responsibility!

Just another of the many reasons I walk alone these days...

 

When I was younger, like in my 20's, I think I said some hurtful things to a variety of different people that were unnecessary and that I wish I could take back.
I met my wife after most of that stuff had already been spilled out.
Perhaps getting that stuff out and maturing is what made me ready to meet my wife.
--- merged: May 22, 2012 at 7:52 PM ---

Yeah I think you will do well to get those under control, although they are a couple of real classics!

 

Yeah...

Not really my finest moments.

 

"I couldn't care less what you think"

Problem was I guess I meant it

 

"You sang that beautifully, you've made much improvement"
"Oh, OK, I'll leave the washing on the line, then"
"My steak? Oh I'd like the chef to do it well done."
"Oh, that heiroglyph? Let's see ... it's a scarab"
"I agree with you"
"I think the cat is in the bathroom"

Oh, and
"I've decided to go out with someone else"

 

I've always been a "calls a stick a stick" guy and have never been exactly reserved on that matter. I also respond very badly when people I'm close with give me retarded responses. In retrospect, it has led to many fights.

Remember a memorable conversation with my ex when she took her toddler nephew with us to the shopping mall. The little guy had this little, hacky-sack sized ball that he'd love to put in his mouth and slobber all over. While we were walking, he dropped his wet ball on the floor, and she picked it up and gave it back to him to chew on.

Me: "Uhh... you're giving the ball back to him to put in his mouth without even cleaning it? That thing is completely wet and rolled around on the floor."
Her: "Calm down, man. No need to go all stupid on me just because of a ball."
Completely random dude walking past us, to me: "Yeah, relax you weirdo."
Me: "What the fuck are you getting your panties in a bunch for? You think I'm pissed? And what the hell does this complete retard want? You both can fuck off to somewhere else, you fucking idiots."

She didn't talk to me for a while after that.


Either way, I tend to say things I mean to my SO, regardless of her emotional perception of the same. Which has led to many hurtful statements from my end, and is one of the many reasons I keep wondering why R. hasn't left me yet.

---

On a completely unrelated note, I love how no females have responded to this thread yet.

 

The start of it all going bad:

Her: I'm so fed up
Me: What's the matter?
Her: I'm bored. (Well, in my defence, this had been a complaint for a while and it seemed to be a complaint that it was something I needed to fix .. the kids had gone to school and she didn't work.)
Me: Well, you need to do something then. I'm not the fucking Entertainments Officer.


The end of the marriage:

Her: What were you ordering online last night?
Me: My holiday (we were already holidaying separately as things were bad)
Her: Oh! Where are you going?
Me: The USA
Her: What are you going there for?
Me: I'm meeting a woman
Her: Oh.

On reflection, I could have handled it better (understatement).

Don't regret the decision, though. We (the "woman" and I) will marry this Summer (4 years later).

 

I never said anything to the bastard (my-ex) that he didn't deserve and more often than not, I held my tongue for fear of violent reprisal.

When it comes to crude, hurtful, go for the jugular remarks, he is the king.

My current SO?

He's a dear and a wonderful partner. He brings out the best in me and I can't think of anything hurtful I've ever said with the intention of being hurtful.

Not to say I never will though.

/First female poster on this thread.

 

These are classic! How do you not get into fights more often?

 

The things I've said that hurt her that I know about probably aren't that bad.

It is the times I've hurt her and not realized it that are the worst.

 

Oh, I get into fights plenty when I'm dating somebody.

Another line out of the dickhead playbook:
Me: That's really what you're going to wear while meeting my family for the first time?
Her: What's wrong with it?
Me: Well, nothing, if you want them to think I pay you by the hour...

 

Her mom moved in with us a while back. At one point (recently) this came to:

"I can't live with your mom any more. I want a divorce."

She was stunned. I admit I was blunt, but in my defence, I've been making it clear that this is becoming a problem.

 

"you're being really clingy"

SO freaked out, broke up with me, and started dating a ginger santa

 

Story.

 

later. i'm watching lock, stock, and two smoking barrels. the story will be told though
--- merged: May 25, 2012 at 1:35 AM ---
fuck it, we'll do it live.

so she gets kicked out of the academy and we go from lots of time together, to zero time together, except for a daily phonecall. normally, i don't mind speaking to her. normally. circumstances being what they are though, she can't stop moaning about being kicked out, and not having friends, and never being able to speak to me. so i tell her to make some friends. her two favorite things to talk about are star wars bounty hunters and plans for the zombie apocalypse.

enter the swaths of sweaty panting nerds pawing at my cutie

she knows what's going on, but still lets this giant jolly ginger elf by the name of... of fuck we'll just call him Bill, take her around (because she has no car) and buy her food (because she has no job). I'm ok with it because she doesn't whine as much to me anymore. eventually the bitching reaches a breaking point and i start getting more than miffed. she responds with "why are you mad"

"you're needy"

breakup, tears, eye surgery, vicodin, months. all within the next 3 days. a week to the day after we break up her facebook contraption says she's with Bill. now i've never seen Bill, but he's got a facebook thing too so i check that and what do i see? some humpty dumpty looking motherfucker who looks like he's going to lead MIA's ginger revolution in that one music video "Born Free" through the power of the level 57 dark magic paladin latent in his freckly veins

 

Epic.

 

I concur. I was hoping for more trash talk from EventHorizon, but at least the story was good.