There's this girl see

You people are still relative strangers so it's rather safe to ask this question

there is this girl at work see

she is rational, intelligent, even funny
most of the women I have dated or been in a relationship have been insane

My boss hs the hots for me, but I am sure she is bi polar or something, plus she thinks I am like a dumb jockor something, plus she belongs to someone else and I don;t want to be bothered with the coompetition thing

My near equal at work also belongs to someone else. She is also hella sexy, and throwing out signals

then there is this girl
we flirt, we play, we work well together
this one is putting out such a vibe
it says all you gotta do is ask

thing is I am second in command and she is like 5th in a crew of about a dozen

I hesitate to say anything because of our positions and our age
she's 28 an I'm about to be 49 and I don't wanna be that guy
but she seems up for it

what to do?

 

Flings + work = BAD.

 

A. Don't fuck your coworkers.
B. Don't date your coworkers.
C. Don't sexually harass your coworkers.

You're almost 49. Haven't you learned this yet? I thought this was written by a 20 year old kid until I saw that part. Then I stared at the screen blinking, trying to overcome the cognitive dissonance and general feeling of needing to shower.

 

Yep, what they said...

 

At the moment, Issmmm, things are good at work. You are working and playing well with these people.
I've no hesitation in saying 'maintain the distance you've got now'

I'm also guessing that you've been squirming at the possibilities .. the temptations, but that you've put the question here because you know dang well the kind of answers you'd get .... and that that they are the ones you've already answered yourself with, though not without inner argument.

Bottom line: Don't.

 

Same team/seeing each other on the daily basis - forget about it. Different parts of work/building with no daily, work related contact - then it's fine.

 

26+ years ago I married a co-worker. I'm still looking for an expiry date on the marriage certificate

Seriously... as everyone has pointed out, you're setting yourself up for a world of hurt... emotionally, financially, legally, and possibly physically if you pursue this.

 

fuck everything that moves, just don't flirt at work. as long as you set the tone that work time is work time, and afterwards is play time, they should be able to get the hints. if they (or you for that matter) cant play by the rules, dont play the game, thats just asking for trouble

 

Um wow
the question wasn't which one should I choose or should I try to fuck one of these girls/ladies. I gotta learn to communicate

There is only one to consider, the other two are just environment.

she's quite young but up for it (relationship )
I'm quite old and don't want to be that guy but thinking about it. and by the way I am not thinking about going for it and asking her out. My thought is whether or not to respond to an attractive woman whose constant and persistant flirting says just a little more than 'hey, I think you're cute' At my age I know when someone is flirting and I know what they want when they do it.

I do know the possible pitfalls of an office romance

the question was about the age difference and your opinion of exploring the possibilities, and yeah I know what most of the responses would have been but i wanted to see them anyway,

Now Poetry is feeling the need to shower

 

if you're 49 and chicks still have the hots for you, it doesn't sound like much of a problem to me. if you're feeling guilty about it, say so and if you're both cool with it, then get busy living or get busy dying

 

Mmm, sounds like someone already made their decision and just wants a pat on the back.

 

If she is clearly interested in you and seems mature enough for a romantic relationship, the age difference shouldn't matter. To me, it's simply an initial barrier, and that's no longer the case with her. However, given that you work together, bear in mind that pursuing the relationship could reveal batshit insanity on her part and lead to office hell for you. Risking job loss isn't an astute move, especially when you're in a comfortable position as '2nd in command'. Consider your boss' emotional reaction as well, since she supposedly 'has the hots' for you. Would she react with jealousy? If that is at all possible, avoid lavishing attention on the underling.

 

Yeah, unless the youngster is looking for a new dad, you should probably avoid making any moves of a fatherly or otherwise nature for fear your psychotic nut job of a boss will try and get even at you spurning her advances by trying to slap your nuts and stuff on a guillotine/ram it down the disposal unit/ do a Bobit etc. Must be very hard for you - as Poetry said, I thought you were much younger initialy.

 

You sound like youve made up your mind so there isnt much i can add except to tell you to read up on your sexual harrassment laws and company policy regarding work relationships. make sure she doesnt fall pregnant whoever she may be

 

In cases like these, always ask yourself, "What's the worst thing that could happen?". If you can live with the answer you come up with, then by all means go for it. Otherwise, keep your distance.

Example of worst thing that could happen: You guys keep flirting, things get more serious and you decide to go out on a real date. The date goes swimmingly and you end up getting hot and heavy on her couch. She hasn't been laid in 3 months and wants it bad, bends over the back of the couch and demands you take her, NOW. In your excitement you mis-align your approach and end up halfway up her brown-eye. She freaks out and demands you leave or she'll call the cops. The next day you walk into the office and everyone now knows you as the guy who tried to BFOFD (butt-fuck-on-first-date).

Just saying...

 

I think you're right.

Way to go, Issmmm. I just hope you're right about what's going on and you don't embarrass yourself.

 

I hadn't in fact made a decision
I have now
I will continue to do what I've done until now, nothing
I hadn't considered that she might be batshit crazy, well I had but only for a second and decided she probably wasn't

what I really didn't consider was that I was 'safe'

so I won't change anything unless it's more public AND 'in my face'

 

Smart move

 

The only reason I'd say to stick with the nothing plan is because she works for you. If she was in another department, that would be another story. The boss is another reason.

Now as far as the age difference, who cares what other people think. Some people are going to find that creepy. Let them. At 49 and 29, you are both adults capable of making your own decisions on who to be romantically linked with.
Whats that trite saying the youngun's are always throwing around...haters gonna hate...something like that....