Grammar Gripes and Other Psycholinguistic Squawkings

Incorrect: "I could care less."
Correct: "I couldn't care less."

Incorrect (in most contexts): "I forget."
Correct: "I forgot."

 

Saying "then" when "than" is supposed to be used.
Walmarts when talking about a single store.

 

Oh do NOT get me started.
Today's irritation was the arbitrary apostrophe convention.
Crimony fuck, plurals don't necessarily own anything and apostrophes are not pretty little decorations!

 

I'm old - and I realize that texting has changed what is acceptable when writing, but it really chaps my ass when people don't capitalize words that should be capitalized and don't use any punctuation.

 

Here's a few of my faves: It's "should have", NOT "should of". Also, it's spelled "retarded", NOT "retarted". As in, you should have used your spell checker, you retarded mouthbreather.

 

If I said something,
& you misunderstood it,
who thinks it's nothing?

 

Would this be the Newspeak rage receptacle?

If so, somebody please tell my college-educated male friends to stop texting me with tween girl shorthand.

I totally can't decipher that shit and I'm knowledgeable of a wide range of acronyms, military and legal.

 

I strongly dislike 'Oi know 'ees the baybees farver - Oi am 150% positif'. Its a hundred bloody percent! Its as high as you can bloody well go you morons! Feckin eejits as father Jack might say (Craggy Island parish) - and the supposedly slightly educated interviewers will encourage them to go higher - is it possible it could be 160% they ask - 'well I dunno, 'spose it cawld be'.

 

As I said on the other-book place this week, the "mute" point makes my jaw hurt.
Seriously, I wanted to punch this smart person who used "mute". And then she said "pacifically" and I stopped listening.
People have been getting pissed off at me for deleting their comments on other-book-place because they use a # mark and stick jumbled together words after it. I don't tolerate twit-speak no matter where it is. I also do not respond to text messages (except from my favorite Irish-woman, who has her own language when typing) when people text me with text-speak at work.

 

the ones that make my eyes twitch a little with frustration are the "their, there, and they're", using "foot" instead of "feet" ("that building is about 30 foot tall"), my gears sometimes got especially ground when people used "i.e." incorrectly but then i forgot what it mean so i stopped caring. However, the #1 granddaddy of them all is when people verbally communicate in internet speak: "omg" "i lol'd so hard" "gtfo" "stfu" "derp" but maybe what i hate about those words isn't the fact that they're retarded to hear come from someone's mouth, but rather that i hate the blossoming internet culture and how its leaking into the real world. maybe we really are headed towards a world like Neuromancer

 

I hate exclamation marks. I think they are often overused in personal correspondence, and I enrages me when people use more than one at a time.

 

oh-em-gee, people that do that should of realized how retarted that looks!!! i guess its a mute point neways since tomorrow is margarita monday's at the {local bar here}

 

The "your" vs. "you're" mistake drives me absolutely bonkers. It's the most common mistake I see.

One of my professors (for an online course) has numerous mistakes in the "there/their/they're" vein in his lectures and on our class website. If you have a Ph.D., you really should know the difference by now.

 

IMDB reviewers have increasingly been saying "It does not disappoint"

Well, it does not impress.

 

Just found this relevant link:

http://learnyourdamnhomophones.com/