Pointless Announcements

I'm taking tomorrow off, so if not back beforehand, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, whichever ones you celebrate.

 

You too, sir! Have a good day off!

 

Bah, humbug.

I'm spending X-mas by myself on the couch with snooty white guy beer.

I will be watching '80s action flicks and wearing pants. With pockets.

 

that sucks, im sorry. c'mon to the house

 

Die Hard, Lethal Weapon,...? Drink some decent beer at least, man, it's freaking Christmas. I'm happy to give you a shopping list if you have your Coors Light goggles on...

 

You shut your mouth, snooty white girl. I only keep the Coors Light around because the woman can't (won't) drink anything else.

And I'll have you know that I'm picking up a couple of big bottles of Double Bastard and trying out Viking's Blood for the first time.

It'll be merry. Any other suggestions?

 

Plan9 - you need to add a steak. Or at least a burger.

 

No! I'm gonna drink like I'm unemployed but still married.

 

Ahh, the makings of a good old fashioned White Trash Christmas. Just remember the traditional screaming match, the calling of the cops and the naked tasering.

I get a little misty just thinking about it. It feels like....home.

 

Grab a bottle of Antigoon, Dogfish Head's Robert Johnson's Hellhound on My Ale, Cigar City Maduro brown Ale or Tocabaga Red, Bell's Two Hearted or Hopslam, Jupiter's Monk in the Trunk, Sweetwater 420 (the woman might like their Blue), Coronado's Mermaid Red, Highland Gaelic Ale.... Need more

 

I can't believe you just said that. You know damn well I'll be wearing USGI camo pants when I get TASERed.

 

No, I know that you'll be wearing pants while DRINKING. WTC requires the taseree be naked, unless you're celebrating a Reformed WTC. In which case, you're a heathen and will never get into Wal*Heaven, what with your refusal to say that it's possible that Dale Earnhart, Jr. might not be the best damn driver of all time.

 

Oh, Danny Boy...

And, yeah, when I die, I'm going to Valhalla*Mart.

...

I'm surprised Baraka hasn't corrected you yet. TASER is an acronym, brodawg.

 

Hey, bro-seph, it's also the use of an electo-shock administrator, regardless of the brand. And TASER is a brand, not an acronym.

Q-Tip'd!

 

Such colloquialisms don't suit you. Leave the dummy talk to me.

I'm an expert.

 

Don't act like you're dumber than me. We both know that I'm the intellectual midget here.

 

Hey, we prefer the term "cerebral little people."

 

Personally I prefer "a drool line short of riding the short bus and making arts & crafts at adult daycare".

 

My dad just informed me via email---he wont use the phone unless under duress, that he left Maryland a day early and will be here today instead of tomorrow. WTF Dad? I think he's playing the merry widower card and doing whatever the eff he pleases. I can't blame him but I really want to call him (but no cell phone, natch) and say stop by my brother's and hang there for awhile. Let me get my spazzing out of my system first.