Adult Science Jokes

Some geek Yo Mamas:
Yo mama so fat that when I wrote code to calculate the size of her ass, it cause a stack overflow.
Yo mama so fat she one twinkie away from a Schwarzchild radius.
Yo mama so fat, she weigh herself on the Richter scale.
Yo mama so fat that the probability gradient for the presence of her ass anywhere in the house is 1.

/ Yo Mama so fat, her patronus is a Cake.
// Not really science, but....

 

^^my favorite part is at 3:00. When the cobra's venom knocks the honey badger out and then he gets back up. It's totally awesome. I wish my science classes in high school had videos like this.

 

The Bartender says, "We don't serve subatomic particles here, so get out!"

A neutrino goes into a bar.

 

For the chemistry inclined there is the ever entertaining Things I Won't Work With/url], a chemist's blog about exactly what it says on the tin. He can be very... colorful... describing exactly why he won't touch something. Or be in the same building as someone else who is.

 

Oh that's just brilliant. Love his style.

 

That would be funnier if it weren't true. I got interviewed once after winning a brewing contest, and the report got everything I said EXACTLY backwards.

 

Stolen from JREF:

Very funny lecture
http://fora.tv/2009/11/08/Science_La...an_Brian_Malow

Schrödinger’s Cat walks in a bar....and it doesn't

A neutrino walks in a bar and the bar man says we don't serve your kind here....it says...but I was just passing through.

A virus walks in a bar and the barman says we don't serve your kind here....the virus takes over and says now we do.

Two bacteria walk in a bar and the bar man says we do not serve your kind here...they say...but we work here...we're staff.

 

it's more computer scienc-y but i saw one of those ecards yesterday that said...

"i'm not saying your a slut, but if your vagina had a password it would be PASSWORD."

that had me cracking up for quite awhile.

 

The only yo mamma joke I've ever gut laughed at:

Yo mama is so fat that the escape velocity at her surface is greater than 3x10^8 m/s

 

http://oneminuteslow.com/224

 

If your sexual tension is a Logarithm, then apply to the rhythm to the log and reduce the tension, is all I am saying. (Or stick it in someones asymptote).

 

Half the total distance twice is the total distance. I win ( have an engineering degree )

 

And I suspect your arrows eventually reach the target too.

 

Well 2 + 2 = 5 for significantly large values of 2

 

sort of a timely joke: <<<< hahahaahaaa that's funny, too

A Higgs-Boson walks into a church, the priest says "We don't allow Higgs-Bosons in here!". The Higgs-Boson says "But without me, how can you have mass?"