Big is beautiful!

Lol yeah I know that.

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Found the flip side of the coin from the female perspective:
Meet the super-slim wives who insist there's nothing sexier than a chubby hubby | Daily Mail Online

These women prefer their men soft and cuddly.

To be honest, 99% of me finds this story on the uplifting side. The remaining 1% is a tad miffed at the fact that I was under the impression that staying fit would attract a quality mate. But then again, this is just another hilarious dick-punch to me in the story of how "Everything I Learned In Life Is Wrong".

 

Those men are all giants compared to their spouses. They are all well over six feet. I guarantee if those guys were the same height as the women with flabby bodies there would be no relationship. My ex-wife commented once that she thought our neighbor was kind of attractive. Kind of thick body like mine. Then she saw him without a shirt. Realized that we were both thick, but mine was a solid layer of muscle underneath some flab. He was just flab. No pecs, arms were tubular and didn't contract. Shoulders had no support.
You may want to look at this article and realize that women have impossible demands on men. The Ideal Male Physique — What girls want & what guys want to be

 

I remember you a few years back gushing about the Adonis belt on men. Interesting how I perfected that so called Pacific nw bod over two decades ago and I have never been there.

 

The "eating too much" factor is primary, but must be considered with other factors. Does your job consist of sitting at a desk all day (book-ended by sitting in your car during your commute, then sitting on the couch watching football)? A sedentary lifestyle is tough to overcome no matter how little you eat.

For five years I worked in a warehouse of a retail store (from age 37-42). I worked with several other guys in their 40's, and everyone on the sales floor thought we were all younger than we were. Why? We were all in good-to-great shape due to our daily work habits. I was averaging 10,000-15,000 steps per SHIFT (7am-3pm), plus whatever steps I was taking from 3pm until 11pm (when I went to bed). I ate breakfast and lunch every day at work, but don't snack.

Conversely, there were people who had desk jobs who nibbled and snacked all day long and were gaining weight over the time I worked there. They were also much young than me and my co-workers.

I now teach at a University, but am hyper-conscious of not spending long periods sitting down. I have move and calorie goals in my Apple Watch (a device that also reminds you to stand up if you've been dormant for too long).

 

A pair of calves for you.

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Mmm a topic I love, attraction. It became sort of a hobby of mine to study this being my other hobby, swinging, is directly related to it.

In my experience not only as a male but watching interactions with other people in swinging situations, there is something of a hierarchy in whats most attractive to *most* as in what gets you laid and what gets you the first look.

First look.
1 - Face - A pretty face helps a lot. A pretty face is one that if that person was in drag would he pass. My joke has always been "if he looks good in a dress he's good looking".

2 - Body - You can argue what level of body and what body fat %, ideal for women is about 12% on a male, not totally shredded but low enough BF to show muscle definition (which you need to have).

What gets you laid.

1 - "game" I'm constantly amazed how out right *ugly* guys can over come this with a good pick up technique. Note its not a good personality, but good technique. I know a 5'5" guy with a mediocre body and a blah face who has a harem of 8 women. These are not 10's but still, he's the kinda guy who's looks you think would find him online bitching about shallow women and heightism. He's not a slimy PUA, these women know whats up, hes very honest and just into this sort of thing. I've seen very fat guys also manage very well too.

2- Face - A pretty face goes a long way.

3 - Body - This really helps but its the least important of the big three. For me body is now my strong suite and it helps push a maybe to a yes, but it doesn't overshadow my iffy game and average face.


One interesting thing when women were asked why they picked a good but not Mr. Shredded body type was they said they thought guys like that would be more likely to cheat, and more into themselves. Another thing was when you get into steroid level of muscle, it was also a turn off for a majority of women. They might not know anything about steroids etc, but their brain knows "not normal, something is wrong" instinctively.

The first part of that last line is true, the second part is not. Its simply how much fuel you put in the tank. It can be hard at sedentary jobs, which are also ironically the most likely to have extra food laying around, but if just being sedentary was the problem, Steven Hawking should be 400+ lbs. One extra regular candy bar a day (I forget the calorie number, 250 I think) over your TDEE is about 30 lbs of fat a year.

Sedentary burns less fuel, so you eat less fuel.

I think you know whats up, but the reason I called out the "no matter how little you eat" is a lot of people use that sort of thing as a cop out. They just can't lose weight they just don't have the time to work out etc, its always something elses fault, and not directly theirs. All they have to do is put the snacks down, and monitor what they eat.

 

do I have time to work out?
no
could I make time?
yes
do I eat at weird times?
yes
could I make a consus effort to eat better things?
yes
when you work 12 plus hours a day and have a wife and 9 year old daughter, it makes things like all the above very difficult to achieve. do I do take responsibility for being fat? yes its my fault, and I could try to eat better things and make time for exercise. but I CHOOSE to sleep and other things.

when I was in high school I played football and spent lots of time in the gym/weight room, and I was big, but not obese. after I graduated and got married and started a full time job it slowly over time turned into fat. ill never weigh 150 pounds, I just have a big structure. and that's how im built. and im ok with that.

My job is physically demanding. im on my feet pretty much all day, and walking a lot, (I do not know how many steps. I should get a fit bit thing) I sling and pickup transmissions all day, and building them can be extremely heavy also. im not a desk person, I couldn't do that. sorry I just got off on a wrong subject. lol

 

Who are you trying to convince though? Eating less takes zero time, saves you money to. Its just wanting it enough to put up with the hunger.