Saying Sorry

I don't how much/well this apoplies to your own children and students, but I did learn that employees appreciate acknowledgements of mistakes and aoplogies. "I'm really glad that you caught that mistake. I apologize for not seeing the reason for the delay and for not asking you before I opened my mouth." Honesty really does work wonders.

 

I've apologized to my kid and made sure to let her know I am not perfect and try not to pretend to be. I also don't expect perfect (whatever that is). My wife, on the other hand, is kind of stuck in that everything must be correct/perfect loop. I blame her parents.

 

I'm very straightforward on this. If I have done something wrong, or I have mistakenly come to an assumption, then I will apologise. That's how I am with my friends and family. This is where it is important to understand what you have done, the implications of what you have done and why you have done it. It is important to my friends and family, as well to me because it all comes down to trust.
I have a caveat though. When I am at work (I work in the Oil and Gas Industry), I quickly weigh up the situation, and then I will decide whether it requires a throw away apology or a genuine one. For an industry that 'prides' itself in it's 'no blame culture', it lays the blame quickly.
The throwaway apology has probably saved millions of pounds of losses over the years, but it has no bearing on the people I work with because it is worth nothing to them. Whereas, to my friends and family, it means the world.
I completely agree with Joniemack on this.
I apologise for my ramblings.........................

 

@Cavymann said:
"I've apologized to my kid and made sure to let her know I am not perfect and try not to pretend to be. I also don't expect perfect (whatever that is). My wife, on the other hand, is kind of stuck in that everything must be correct/perfect loop. I blame her parents."

I have apologized to my boys for numerous mistakes, I believe it helps them to realize that even an adult that they may look up to is going to one day let them down. It is the law of life and I don't have the power to change it. So I adjusted my POV. They both treat me with respect in each of their own way, and a circle of family understanding has become a corner stone in our relationship.

 

I'm learning to not apologize as much. It is a hard path some days on the uber low self esteem and or flashback days. Today is a good one and i've only apologized once. Most of the time I feel like I am taking up space, saying the wrong thing, or hurting someone. In my head I know it is okay to be a person in this world but years of abuse told me I was of very little worth and now I'm trying to reforge that part of me. It is work. We had friends over last night, and the male of the couple points out my apologies, and I apologized for something in the past, then said no fuck that I don't apologize and we laughed, it was a tiny step forward.

 

I've dated a few women who apologised for everything - I started running "swear jars" for them every time they apologised. It was quite funny, a bonding experience, and made them realise how often they apologised for things without thinking about it. I remember saying to one of them: "Don't apologise for that. You are a worthy person and don't have to make excuses for taking up space in the world." It kind of floored her.