QOTD #84: What have you learned about yourself lately?

I have to keep relearning this.
Regarding my "to-do" list: The less I want to do a task, the more I'm likely to put it off. The longer I put it off, the more daunting it seems. The more daunting it seems, the more I put it off and stress about it. Always, without exception, when I finally tackle the task and see it through, I feel relief.
Why do I do this to myself? I do not know.

 

I don't know what I may have learned about myself lately but I can say this. I like my work to be perfect, but settle for great. Emotional dealings when it's just ok, and hard on myself when I scrap something.

 

Thank you for the tip, Lindy. It is worth a shot!

 

I officially no longer enjoying traveling. Used to be if I had an upcoming trip planned, business or pleasure, I'd have a little extra bounce in my step. Didn't matter if I was headed on a dive trip with buddies, a family vacation or an "in custody transport." Heck I used to volunteer to trek to place like Winner, South Dakota or Enid, Oklahoma in the middle of winter to pickup someone who absconded on parole. I like to see new places and you used to be able to collect all the miles and points. I was 1K with United and gold or platinum with US Air, can't remember which all I do remember is I was one level from the top- chairman. I held those status' for years and at least 75% of it was solely due to transports or other work related travel. The laws have changed now and the State of Oregon no longer allows employees to collect any miles, points, free night etc... as a result of state paid travel. Really it's the right thing to do for the tax payers. But I enjoyed it.

Now I drag myself down to the airport. Deal with some machine/kiosk that never likes my passport. I thought back in June when I got a new one for my expiring one things would change. Nope. Always end up dealing with some employee who treats me in a manner that leaves me to believe she must think I shot her dog in a past life. After getting my checked bags loaded on a conveyor belt I tread my way through the maze of TSA version of mouse trap. At different airports different rules. Remove shoes and belt here, leave shoe on there, take laptop out here, leave it in your bag there and the increasingly popular take your laptop out and turn it on. Used to be a priority or first class ticket put you in a line of three or four people. Now everyone has priority some way, have a United Chase Visa? Priority. Silver status with American, priority. A lot of airport no longer even have what used to be called the first class line. I assume for that reason. Not much point in having one if it's as long if not longer then the regular line. I find my way to the club which used to be full of business people and well dressed, well off and well behaved families headed to some far off location. Now it full of seriously over-served middle aged men and women dreading t travel as much as I and families who let their kids run amuck playing sames like "skittles fights" and cry and scream at the parents until they given in and let you have another ten cookies. brownies or whatever is the sweet snack of the day. Seriously last week in Dallas at the main Admirals Club two kids tried to use their spoons to launch beans from their soup at each other wile the mother and father spoke calmly about which new vehicle they intended to purchase. Had my child behaved like that she would be eating her plate of raw broccoli and cauliflower I requested for her. These kids were keeping score. Last I heard "I freaking rule!" was beating "I hate life" 14-10.

I could go on but anyone still awake and reading at this point either knows how this story ends or is so bored they should get up, go outside and enjoy life.

 

My hatred of my own body has not gone away with my weight loss. Hopefully bulking up will help with the mental issues I have with my own body image. Then again, it may not and I'm already showing textbook symptoms of Muscle Dysmorphic Disorder.

 

The other day, I found out that I don't flirt. At all. Never have. And that this is unusual.

My wife used to feel hurt about it, but eventually learned not to expect it from me. She never mentioned it until now.

One problem is, I grew up (e.g. in high school) hearing about flirting only in a negative way, something comparable to smoking dope, or beating people up, or running red lights. Not anything a decent person would want to do.

Another problem is, I don't even know how to flirt. Like no clue. My wife tried to describe it, and it sounded totally alien to me.

It's a gap in my socialization from spending much of my adolescence in libraries.

 

Me, too, but for somewhat different reasons.

I mean, sure, air travel is increasingly awful, and I avoid it as much as possible. Y'all may remember that my most recent flight involved eight hours of unscheduled delay, sitting in a plane and then in a noisy terminal, feeling sick the whole time.

But fundamentally, this is nothing new. Flying has always been a grim ordeal for me, even under the best of conditions. I dread the awful lurch of a plane becoming airborne. My mind perversely insists on writing the flight number into imaginary news bulletins with phrases like "crashed shortly after takeoff" or "broke up in midair". The new annoyances and discomforts, if anything, are a distraction from that.

The big change is that seeing new places has become increasingly unappealing. Every place in America is rapidly being made over to look like every other place.

For example, homeowners no longer tolerate what used to be routine tasks like painting and caulking. People now expect absolute airtight maintenance-free performance from buildings. More than 90% of wooden houses have been completely stripped of their architectural features, and covered in vinyl or aluminum. Old windows of every description are being ripped out and replaced with flimsy vinyl ones.

Landscapes are changing. Old roads that followed the original contours of the land have been straightened, widened and flattened, with added turning lanes and multi-phase traffic lights; the trees that used to line them have been systematically removed. In many cities and towns, old storefront buildings, close to the street, are being demolished and replaced with commercial buildings set back 50 or 100 feet (or more) behind parking lots. And almost every new commercial development is full of chain stores, all reliably the same everywhere, and wiping out what used to be local differences.

Yes, there are specific, designated places where unique things are deliberately protected. You can read about them in tourist brochures. Hardly anything gets preserved by accident any more.

I recognize there are advantages to all these changes, in terms of energy efficiency, safety, lower maintenance costs, more convenience, etc. But it also means that almost any random place is much less visually interesting than it used to be. Why go to Missouri or Virginia or Oregon, if you're going to see nothing but chain stores and vinyl-sided houses? We have those here.

 

Ooh yes, my favourite thing about travel, discovering new, natural beauty!

@StreetPattern, your points are well-taken, too. Sameness and uniformity prevail. I cannot help but believe tho, that there will always be those who refuse to conform. As you say, it takes increasing effort to find the unique and special. I try to avoid the overly familiar when travelling when I have the time and can afford to do so.

 

You know I love ya but did you have to tell the world about the Steens?

Mental note: never inform Snowy of favorite hiking, diving, fishing, or just chilling locations.