The Complaining and Bitching Thread

I'm sorry...I just can't my mouth shut when someone makes me feel not good about myself.
Even loved-ones or good friends.

We set our terms on how people treat us...and when someone is doing something that is making us feel less than adequate...you gotta call them on it. Even if it may cost you.

I want to be wanted.
I want to be liked.
I want to be respected.
etc...

So if you're family or friend, then I'll take the time to present my discomfort.
I cannot live any other way.
Otherwise, it just twists in my head & heart and I come to resent it.

Because while I can forgive...I cannot forget. (such are the burdens of a good memory and awareness)
History and Reality doesn't change for me...what was then, it is still now. (and I know some that forget history and alter reality well)

 

We are having the seventies vintage fiberglass tub/shower combo in our main first floor bathroom removed and a flush floor shower installed in its place, along with new vanity, lav, etc., general bathroom renovation.

One of the pieces in the surround kit (from Lowes) was the wrong color - not just a bad match, but entirely the wrong color - so now we are waiting for a replacement.

The other first floor bath only has a tub so we have been using the stall shower in the basement. Cramped, and far away from the bedroom clothes closets, and with the a/c on, the basement is always cold.

The new shower will be great when finished, even plenty of room for two, but for now, what a pain.

 

What do you do when someone you like and care about says something that is uncaring or at least inconsiderate.

Grief is a personal thing.
But some don't know how to handle that.

 

True. But in this context, it is not the person who passed that erred. But one who is close who is not taking my grief well.
It's as if they are uncomfortable about the grief or the memory of the person...and they want me to move on already and not express myself or my feelings.

Now, don't get me wrong...I haven't been depressed or despondent.
But it comes in waves, suddenly...or I want to talk about my feelings or memories every once in a while.
They don't want me to cry or speak about it.

I'm sorry, as long as it is not excessive or inappropriate...you don't tell someone how to grieve.
Just be polite...and if you're uncomfortable, keep your distance for that time. It's not that hard.

 

I always have trouble when an acquaintance, friend, or family member, is in grief.

I was taught that I should say something, even if only that I'm sorry for your loss.

I feel like I often say the wrong thing.

I have a high IQ, don't know about incredible, but around 150, but there are situations in which I feel oh-so-stupid.

I'm a board certified introvert, so I'm often lost in my own head, and usually quite comfortable there. That's where I retreat in distress, like in Billy Joel's song: "In every heart there is a room, a sanctuary, safe and strong." For me, that room isn't in my heart, it's in my head.

In anything but the most structured situations, I feel like I don't know what to say.
My fall-back is to say nothing.

I've been told that I have an empathy deficit, and I wouldn't disagree. I wonder if it's related to introversion?

I think that smart introverts tend to be especially socially inept.

 

I need more booze to get through this family dinner.

 

There is a spot between my right shoulder and my neck, maybe the size of a golf ball, that is excruciating. No idea what I did to pull or hurt it, but it was bad enough it kept waking me up last night. Started yesterday midday and has just progressively gotten worse. Ugh.

 

Something like that. It was sore yesterday and it's killing me today. Took the monster for a walk yesterday, but didn't do anything overly vigorous. Our massage girl is coming over tonight (was already scheduled, fortunately) so I'm hoping she can show it who's boss.

 

She tore me up, lol. It's still sore, but way better, and I think the massage majorly accelerated the healing. The rest of me feels way better.

 

She actually thinks I'm awesome. She said she is very particular about who she will do home visits for, and I'm her only regular guy client she'll come out for. So shut your mean face.