The Official "Ask Plan9" Thread

You're a star ship captain, who's your number 1? And why?

 

Beans or no beans in your chili?

1911 or Glock ?

MC1 or T10?

 

Sixteen empty missile tubes and the accompanying mushroom clouds... now what?

 

I accidentally ... the whole thing. Now what?

 

When I get superhero buff, can we do a photoshoot 80's Action star style?

 

Where the fuck are you?

 

Where can I go to see a photo of your penis?

 

Beans. (Otherwise, it's just "con carne".)

YES! (I love them both!)

Neither. I've never had the urge to jump out of a perfectly good airplane. (I fell out of the bomb bay of a B-24 once, but that's another story.)
--- merged: Mar 7, 2016 at 6:32 PM ---

Now... it's Miller Time!

 

Hey, guys… sorry for the exxxtreme lag. I was off at work on Phobos, slaving away in the turbidium mines, making that paper.

Been doing this for the last half decade, my on/off schedule shouldn't really be surprising.

No Internet there, so I can't stay in touch with my peeps here.

…

Because you can't change people. Take my mother for example: My father died three years ago and she still can't get over it. It's deeply impacting her life.

I'm horrible at family stuff, so my approach is ignore them and make them come to me when they want something.

…

What this guy said:

It should be said again for those that don't truly appreciate the fact: she has a fantastic pair.

…

Easy, my marksmanship instructor / life mentor, Terminator (sadly, not his real name). He’s basically every ‘80s action move rolled up into one human being with a fantastic mustache and a penchant for Hawaiian shirts.

…

Beans. C’mon… chili has three solid ingredients: ground beef, tomato slop and beans. Without beans, chili is just “spicy meat paste.”

I’m married to the Glock until I retire or they come out with something better.

If this was 1969 and I was in Vietnam, I would have bought a Browning Hi-Power to carry.

If I was a huge gamer nerd, I would have probably bought into the 2011 platform in a big way.

Hah, trick question: nobody wants to jump a T10 when they can have a MC1.

For the home audience: The MC1 is the James Bond-style toggle parachute that allows you to steer and slow for landing. The T10 is a basically a big nylon skirt with some belts that slows you down just enough to keep you from breaking your legs.

…

First order of business will be to cut the right sleeve off my leather motorcycle jacket so I’ll look super cool during the apocalypse.

Second order of business will probably be some wildly irrational thought about how nice it is that I’m not going to have to pay taxes this year.

…

New York strip. I want the cut of beef to be pure meat, no chewy fatty marbling.

I'm also the kind of guy that requests things to be "well done." You know, cooked.

…

Portion control! Don’t put the whole container in front of you. Use a bowl or a napkin or something.

Many, many men have lost their souls to a tube of Girl Scout cookies that was eaten in a single sitting.

…

*Arnold voice* I insist. Bring your woman so we can take proper MeltedMetalGlob-style couples poses.

BTW: I'm super proud of your improved physical fitness. I knew you had it in you.

...

Your inbox. PM sent.



JK.

No such picture exists.

But imagine that it's just like the rest of me: narrow and veiny and desperately seeking to please management.

 

I was the a latchkey child of two workaholic government employees. I ate a lot of Cheerios growing up.

As such, I am ignorant of nebulous culinary style points like why it is so important to eat bloody prime cuts.

Also worth mentioning is my love for cheap Scotch and how I survived on tuna and canned peas during college.

 

I used to love well done steaks. Now I almost exclusively eat rare.

There is something about a well crisped piece of fat..... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm steak bacon

 

I cannot eat well done beef. Or anything past medium, most of the time. Beyond the texture issues, the flavor of the iron and meat itself changes to something unpalatable to me past medium rare. I love a good pepper Pitt filet. Damn. Now I'm hungry.

 

Why must we suffer?

 

Because growth is painful. Like lifting weights, pain is progress.

Also, the world has a finite amount of resources and thus the game to acquire them.

 

Ahhhh, acquisitions. I seem to only be acquiring pain. I must be playing the game wrong.

 

Well, the uncomfortable truth for middle class snowflake America is that not everybody can be a winner.

Not in the natural resources game, the socioeconomic strata game or even the good genetics game.

The good news is that despite your pain, you still squat four times as much as the average dude.

Bad news is that we live in a society where the average dude only squats a 1/4 of what you do.