Pointless Announcements

Stocked up at the local liquor store with some goodies for vacation. A good bottle of scotch, a good bottle of bourbon, bottle of rye, and a couple other odds and ends. The owner of the store is very polite, and we always chat when I'm in there (no, it's not THAT often, maybe once every 4-6 weeks ). I sign the CC receipt, and she asks me if I want a copy. I jokingly tell her no, "as long as you know I didn't steal it, that's good enough for me!" She says she knows better, that I'm a good customer. A few seconds later I'm getting in my vehicle when she comes running out of the store yelling for my attention. She waves me back towards her, so I walk back towards the store and hear her saying something about my credit card.

Turns out that, instead of $299, she charged me $2999. She was horrified. So I go in, and she figures out how to void the transaction. When she runs it again, my card is denied. Now she's really freaking out that she screwed up my card right before I leave for vacation. I tell her not to sweat it and pay with a different card. She was so apologetic that she grabbed a bottle of vodka off the shelf and insisted I take it for free as an apology. I tried refusing, but I think she would've felt more guilty if I didn't take it, so I did.

By the time I get back to my car I have three texts and two emails from my credit card company asking me if there was fraudulent activity on my card. The unusually large liquor store transaction, with a second transaction just a decimal point off 3-4 mins later, set off some alarms with the bank. I confirm via both text and email that the charges (err, charge, void, and then charge) were all legit, and all is good. Tried the card 5 mins later at the gas station and it was good to go.


Long story short, I got free vodka.

 

Back to school!

I just realized that I have a tendency to develop crushes on schoolteachers. It might be a complex or something.

 

How you doin'?

 

Keep away, wicked temptress!

 

When I was a high school senior I had the hotsies for my band director. I've posted about it on here before. After he ignored a couple of suggestive hints I put a hard and blatant after school hit on him in his office with the door closed.

He excused himself, said he'd be right back, and went down the hall to the school office (this was before everybody carried a phone) and called my dad, who showed up a few minutes later.

I was crushed, mortified, embarrassed, humiliated, and in more trouble than I'd ever been in before.

 

I've been thinking about this again. (You guys have no idea what goes on in this brain of mine.)

I recall that my first ever MILF crush was on my busty grade 7 English teacher.

I'm sure this set a precedent.

 

When someone asks me what my toddler's favorite activities are, I want to respond: "Tantrumming. With a little Gymnastics on the side."

 

Is it ever "acrobatic tantrumming"?