No Children

Food for thought: I'm just going to leave this right here.

It turns out parenthood is worse than divorce, unemployment — even the death of a partner - The Washington Post

 

Personally, I chose to get a vasectomy because I was/am unable to pick a stable partner to have them with. I've had a fair share of toxic relationships and have vices and a lifestyle where I cannot fathom bringing a child into or around.

With that said, I've always wanted to be a father and have a family but realize that it's not in the cards for me so I chose the responsible route, rather than having a future accident. Also, with health insurance it only cost $15 and I've had some of the best sex of my life after I had it done so it was well worth it.

 

I've read through his thread as it strikes very close to my heart; The decision to have kids.

There a lot of reasons I don't want to have kids; foremost is my own mental stability.

I have horrible bouts of depression with upswings of Hulk style rage. I have a hard time not being a dick to my friends, neither less a small sponge that will soak all the good and bad I do. It took me years to warm up to the dogs and longer to not be angry at them for things they can't control. They are furry little animals and I would yell at them when I was in a moment of rage. Cinn worked (tirelessly and without reward) with me to help level me out and get me to a point I wasn't just hulking out on everything. I love my dogs but jesus did it take forever to get to the point I am now.

It still scares me to have a child. I could pass all my fucked up mental problems onto him/her AND be a bad parent. What kind of life would that be for the child? That's a fucking lifetime movie in the making.

This usually doesn't bother me, but Cinn loves kids. I am horrible with children (also babies, teens, young adults, adults, and seniors) and she is so goddamn GOOD with kids. Kids LOVE Cinn and it kills me that I want to be childfree when she would make the most amazing parent in the world.

The baby pressure is HUGE on me. Every time I talk to a family member, I get the pressure/guilt. My aunt has even told us at a family party, "Just go home right now and make a baby. Make your mother happy." I reply most of the time with concerns about money. The answer I get? "God will make it happen." I got a really dirty look when I asked for God's Paypal account. I get told I'm breaking my mother's heart by not doing this and it really pisses me off. Every time one of my cousins pops out a kid, I breathe a sigh of relief. I know I have a few family parties of peace.

I want to scream at my family (friends thankfully don't talk about it much) who ask me about having kids, "I AM FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD AND YOU WANT ME TO HAVE A KID?!? WTF ARE YOU THINKING?"I don't, because in my family, "Depression isn't real, stop whining."

I know I would be a horrible father and I don't want to inflict that upon a child who deserves better. That's why I don't want kids.

 

You and DaddySquirrel can live a bachelor life on one side of a duplex with "visiting privileges" while Cinn, BabySquirrel and I hang out and be cool on the other side. Just try to not visit when I'm home.

 

I was looking at the house. There's things I need to do to fix up (tuck pointing, chimney is a bit crumbly, the second floor desperately needs an ensuite, and I would to pull out the carpet in the basement, knock out a few walls and make a nice office/TV/workout space down there, plus fixing the deck and maybe adding a hot tub) that a cool $60K should take care of. But my son is starting university. Tuition is $10,500 for year 1. He has saved $2,000 as a wading pool attendant so far this summer.

 

You do know we'll just have an "Idiocracy" situation on our hands. The intelligent people will curb their procreation while the itio...err...unenlightened people will keep on reproducing. The genes that will be in the majority will not be so awesome.

 

I have family living in Illinois, Di has never been able to have children and Mark is good with it. 20 years now, they are the happiest couple.

 

That has been going on for the past few decades already.

 

Ummmmm, yes please. BabySquirrel and I will play dinosaurs and dance to Will Smith and Blondie. It will be awesome.

***

I don't really have much to add to this thread. I don't have kids, and at this point, it doesn't seem likely that I will. Sometimes I feel sad about that, sometimes I feel relieved. It does rankle a little bit that I never made the decision either way... but as someone who knew fairly early on that one parent would have preferred NOT to be a parent, I knew I'd never want to put anyone in that position.

Edited to add: there are a couple of kids that I'm "Aunt Cinn" to, and that's pretty cool. I get the fun of playing and being silly, but I don't have to change any diapers.

 

Being a grandparent is the hot setup. Let em play with puppies, hop em up on sugar, then send em home.

 

This is the worst. I feel like it's some sort of torture on mommies and daddies for how shitty we were as kids.

 

This doesn't sound creepy or anything.

 

My mom told me that grand kids were god's way of rewarding her for not killing her teenagers.

 

Blocked in my country, like i'm the third world or something!