1. We've had very few donations over the year. I'm going to be short soon as some personal things are keeping me from putting up the money. If you have something small to contribute it's greatly appreciated. Please put your screen name as well so that I can give you credit. Click here: Donations
    Dismiss Notice

Bf is on the small side, will sexual intercourse suck?

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by chelle, Sep 13, 2011.

Page 6 of 15
  1. the_jazz

    the_jazz Accused old lady puncher

    Maybe if you pull your pants down from your armpits and take the onion out of your belt, you'll figure out how to be funny again.
     
    the_jazz, Sep 30, 2011
    #101
    • Like Like x 4
  2. Bear Cub

    Bear Cub Goes down smooth.

    Location:
    At the bar, eyeing the pretty one.
    My vote was for Home Depot, tape measure aisle.
     
    Bear Cub, Sep 30, 2011
    #102
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  3. Random McRandom

    Random McRandom Starry Eyed

    I leave for 5 minutes and THIS PLACE GOES TO SHIT!

    proceed..
     
    Random McRandom, Sep 30, 2011
    #103
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    There's a bit of a rhyme to help with "grading":

    Balls touch her chin, you didn't win.
    Run out of throat, you get her vote.
     
    Baraka_Guru, Sep 30, 2011
    #104
    • Like Like x 5
  5. Random McRandom

    Random McRandom Starry Eyed

    substitute her with him and you get win
     
    Random McRandom, Sep 30, 2011
    #105
    • Like Like x 2
  6. ZombieSquirrel

    ZombieSquirrel Brrrrrrrains

    Location:
    Oregon by way of "Oh-hi-ya"
    *wipes away tear* That is so beautiful!
     
    ZombieSquirrel, Sep 30, 2011
    #106
    • Like Like x 2
  7. Random McRandom

    Random McRandom Starry Eyed

    when exactly is it ok to demand pictures of the penis in question?

    it's a rule that if the thread involves penis as the main subject matter it must contain pics.
     
    Random McRandom, Sep 30, 2011
    #107
    • Like Like x 1
  8. the_jazz

    the_jazz Accused old lady puncher

    Ummm..... there's this thing called "deep throating". And it's all about win.
     
    the_jazz, Sep 30, 2011
    #108
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Joniemack

    Joniemack Beta brainwaves in session

    Location:
    Reading, UK
    My hand or foot over the bulge in his pants. It's usually good enough to determine S, M, L, or XL.

    Chelle is the only woman I've seen admit to using a device to measure some guy's actual inches. I've always assumed most men have measured their own from every angle and degree of hardness (because they think it matters in ways most women scoff at). But women? I think most of us just care how it feels and if it likes us.
     
    Joniemack, Sep 30, 2011
    #109
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Random McRandom

    Random McRandom Starry Eyed

    you realize.. what you just opened up right?

    that's right.. your mouth. take it and love it.
     
    Random McRandom, Sep 30, 2011
    #110
  11. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    As has been demonstrated, four years of rigorous poesie scholarship has not been lost on me. I'm thinking of producing a Middle English translation.
     
    Baraka_Guru, Sep 30, 2011
    #111
    • Like Like x 2
  12. the_jazz

    the_jazz Accused old lady puncher

    Hey, I was just pointing out the problem with Baraka_Guru 's poem. I'm all about the artform, but when he's doing the reader a disservice by implying that getting your balls to her chin is somehow a bad thing. I would think that you, Glory's Sun, a veteran pederast, would know all about that.
     
    the_jazz, Sep 30, 2011
    #112
  13. Random McRandom

    Random McRandom Starry Eyed

    chillax..

    I'm down with getting a measurement via bj any day. even if it leaves me crying and confused.
     
    Random McRandom, Sep 30, 2011
    #113
  14. ZombieSquirrel

    ZombieSquirrel Brrrrrrrains

    Location:
    Oregon by way of "Oh-hi-ya"
    I will admit that balls have hit the chin AND I've run out of throat at the same time......

    Hmmm, I need to make a phone call now.
     
    ZombieSquirrel, Sep 30, 2011
    #114
    • Like Like x 5
  15. Random McRandom

    Random McRandom Starry Eyed

    just text me instead
     
    Random McRandom, Sep 30, 2011
    #115
    • Like Like x 2
  16. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    Thanks for pointing this out. Now for my revision:

    Balls touch her chin, you didn't win.
    Run out of throat, you get her vote.
    But past the gag, it's in the bag.
     
    Baraka_Guru, Sep 30, 2011
    #116
    • Like Like x 4
  17. Lordeden

    Lordeden Part of the Problem

    Location:
    Redneckhell, NC
    Goddamn, I love this place. It always makes my shitty day better by reading banter like this.
     
    Lordeden, Sep 30, 2011
    #117
    • Like Like x 2
  18. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    Wow. Never before has a thread made me feel so utterly inadequate.

    By the end of the week, it'll make me wanna Kurt Cobain myself.
     
    Plan9, Sep 30, 2011
    #118
  19. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    You mean scream incoherently over a three-power-chord progression?

    Dude, I feel you. (Not literally, of course.)
     
    Baraka_Guru, Sep 30, 2011
    #119
    • Like Like x 1
  20. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    No, the joke where I ask you what color the lead singer of Nirvana's eyes were.

    You act puzzled for my sake. Then I say "Blew. One blew left, one blue right."

    Then I kill myself with a 20 gauge shotgun and my druggie wife gets blamed.
     
    Plan9, Sep 30, 2011
    #120
Page 6 of 15