need help

Hey so, I'm really confused and becoming really stressed out. About a week ago I seriously started questioning if I was straight or gay. I've had 3 emotionally and physically serious relationships with girls and had never had a doubt up until now that I liked girls. It started off with just curiosity and I mean I had always been curious about things, and when alone tried some different things but it never followed me out of my room and that moment and I would say I've fantasized about women way more than a man, and it isn't so much males as it has been shemales and mostly girls with the strap ons then I started wondering what that feels like or what it is like while never interfering withy relationships with my girldriends. For example even just two nights ago my ex came over and all she had to do was put her hand on my arm and it turned me on and that was even when I was really stressing out about it to where I had trouble getting an erection. I've never had an emotional feeling for another man or a crush besides on girls. I mean lately since I just can't stop thinking about what if I'm gay I've been feeling really uncomfortable around other men which is an issue because I'm enlisting in the army. I can handle being bi-sexaul but I'm seriousl scared I'm going to stop liking girls.I still have dreams about girls and get erections but when I wake up I obsess over it. I told my parents and they said that it is normal to question it but its gotten to the point to where it is weighing down on me hard. There are times where I bounce back and forth between what I watch. Gay porn doesnt do much for me but I do feel a twinge, not because I find the guys attractive but because I've never done it before and i wonder what its like but now I feel like the fact that im even thinking that means I'm gay which leads me to more freaking out because eve though I feel really isolated and all over the place I still feel an attraction to my ex. I realize this is only something I can answer myself but I am just really confused and any help seriously helps. Because like I said I can get off to both sides of the spectrum but with gay porn it has to be animated or the guy's faces need to blocked out or I don't get anything. So anything would help me out right now because I would like to go back to how I was a few weeks ago when I knew I liked women.

 

Thanks, that helped a lot. Its just weird because I don't feel attracted to anyone so I'm probably just driving myself crazy. I've been looking on the forums and a lot of 19 year olds are having the same thing. Just never felt like this before.

 

I get the feeling from your post that you don't have any gay friends.
If I'm wrong and you do it might be worth having a frank discussion with them about how they discovered their feelings (but for g-ds sake don't start it out 'No Homo')
Having other perspectives can help.

But in the long run don't spend a lot of time putting a name to your sexuality.
It's fine if you know you are cis asexual male or a polyandrous bisexual but you don't have to nail it down right now.

 

And I have some friends that are really physical, I'm also a bodybuilder so I see a lot of naked dudes in the locker room and don't get a reaction. I was just trying to figure out why all of a sudden I went from being sure to questioning every feeling I get.

 

That's why I was confused. Outside my little fantasies I've never felt that way about a guy, I also did a lot of MMA and boxing and never got aroused when grappled, I tried thinking about a friend of mine once and I went completely limp but if I even see my ex's ass crack it sets me off like a horse but like I said you guys really helped me out here because I was defenitly freaking g out about this

 

You are 19 years old and full of hormones. Try to relax.

 

Jrock95, if you are 19, your body is still at the stage where your hormones and other body issues will still be changing. I would be surprised if you still will be in this frame of mind in six or twelve months. Just go with the flow for now. It will be another couple of years before your body settles down to a stable existence.

 

Thanks man, really helps to know that this is biological. I'm hanging out with my friends and nothing feels weird so I guess that's that.

 

Pretty much could this just be me wanting to experemint or could it be something else. I see myself waking up to a wife. Everything just feels foggy and nothing is certain. When I was out with my friends last night I felt really awkward and uncomfortable and to be honest wish I had stayed home. I felt it worst with my bestfriend danny. I'm confused because I have experimented with this since 8th grade but had only felt the love reaction with women. And it had stopped for like a year. I've been told I'll be leaving for the boot camp soon which means I'm not looming for a girlfriend. Could that be a reason this is happening too? I get this is a weird age, I know I do have homoerotic fantasy but I still feel a pretty strong attraction to my ex-girlfriend. I've just usaully been predominantly hetero but I feel like it switched or something. However the feeling I felt around d my guy friends was not the feeling g I get with my gf's it was panic, anxiety and kind of pain. I told an ex fuck budy of mine and she said that this is happe ing because I'm obsessing over it.

 

Like I said before, relax you've got plenty of time to deal with this.

One of my best friends in high school was a major chick magnet.
He could have just about any woman he wanted and pretty much did.
Then he developed a crush on one of the guys in our drama group who was gay.
They started dating and of course everybody was convinced he was gay.
But the deal was for him it came down to who he was attracted to.
He could no longer just date every woman because he was supposed to (or guy for that matter).
But it took him a long time to figure that out.

Woman seem to be able to figure that out easier than men.
You see the celebrates who have girlfriends for years and then get married to a guy.
They will tell you they still like woman but they love this guy.
My friend is currently with a woman but it just as easily could have been a guy (and might be).
So relax and enjoy.
Find people you want to sleep with and want to sleep with you.

 

Okay, this girl still makes me feel warm inside and I hate when she leaves, when she kisses me I feel like a little kid and it fucking rocks. I do t get this feeling around my guy friends... But I still have these fantasies its just a little much.

 

Also now it is getting harder for me to get an arousal to straight poem but I did get an arousal from gay porn on top of these awkward feelings and fantasies

 

Well if straight poems don't do it for I can recommend Walt Whitman, W. H. Auden, Fernando Pessoa, Fedrico Lorca and Allen Ginsberg, to name a few.

 

I can accept it, its a different world now. Its just kind of hard because o still really like my ex, she said she would love me no matter what. I just feel like breaking down now

 

If it's really bothering you that much you could try to talking to a councilor.
We can offer you the best advice in the world but in the long run we're just folks on the internet.
You might need a pro who can pick the right words and give you some methods to deal with this.
We've got some good people here and they've given you really good advice.
I'd say listen to them but you might need to sit down with someone you trust who can offer you more.

 

I kinda just had the realization that this all started because I have so much time on my hands and looking at how its all progressed I've gone in a downward spiral which probably means I'm not gay. Bi maybe but not gay. Thanks you guys really helped me out here, I was skeptickal at first but I'm glad I talked to someone. Thanks chaps