1. We've had very few donations over the year. I'm going to be short soon as some personal things are keeping me from putting up the money. If you have something small to contribute it's greatly appreciated. Please put your screen name as well so that I can give you credit. Click here: Donations
    Dismiss Notice

Women asking men out

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by ChrisScissors, Aug 24, 2014.

Page 1 of 2
  1. ChrisScissors

    ChrisScissors New Member

    So, what's your take on women asking men out? There's a guy I've been Facebook friends with, a former co-worker, who I've been crushing on for the longest time. I would've thought he'd have asked me out now that he's found out I'm recently single, but he hasn't. The reason I thought this is because he's stalked me a bit in the past (recently too) and flirted with me. I believe he's free, but I at least know he's not hitched. I've hinted I want to go out with him but haven't been direct. It's not that I'm afraid he'll say no, I'm just worried that maybe I'll scare him off or maybe he'll find it distasteful not to be the one who pursued. I know there's only one way to find out, and I'm just building up the courage at this point, but just curious on opinions.
     
    ChrisScissors, Aug 24, 2014
    #1
  2. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    It's cool.
    It's how I met a few of my SOs

    Actually, it takes the pressure off at times...I don't think many realize how difficult it can be to ask someone out, including for men too.
    Go for what you want.
     
    rogue49, Aug 24, 2014
    #2
    • Like Like x 2
  3. Snoogans

    Snoogans Getting Tilted

    Location:
    Uppsala, Sweden
    Alot of guys have a huge, huge problem with reading hints.
    If he's been flirtatious in the past without it leeding anywhere, he might need undeniable proof that you're open for business.

    Go for it.
     
    Snoogans, Aug 25, 2014
    #3
    • Like Like x 2
  4. ChrisScissors

    ChrisScissors New Member

    Thanks for the responses! Finally worked up the courage. Had to message him, so we'll see. Very excited and honestly just happy to take my first steps at moving forward with my life..no matter how it goes.
     
    ChrisScissors, Aug 25, 2014
    #4
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Snoogans

    Snoogans Getting Tilted

    Location:
    Uppsala, Sweden
    Awesome! Good luck!
     
    Snoogans, Aug 25, 2014
    #5
  6. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    Both my daughters ask so I wouldn't be afraid to ask if I were you.

    Good luck
     
    redravin, Aug 25, 2014
    #6
  7. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    What is this, 1950?

    One thing I learned in college: guys love it when women do the initial legwork, and any guy who doesn't is probably not worth your time. Then, the guy needs to meet you halfway after that point. I was the one who put the moves on my now-husband (9 years ago tomorrow!). It's a lesson I wish I had known in high school; I wasted a lot of time crushing on guys hoping they'd ask me out. That was dumb. I've honestly yet to meet a guy who did not find it flattering to be asked out or pursued.
     
    snowy, Aug 25, 2014
    #7
    • Like Like x 4
  8. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    I'm a big dumb animal. Tell me directly what you want.
     
    Borla, Aug 25, 2014
    #8
    • Like Like x 9
  9. Levite

    Levite Levitical Yet Funky

    Location:
    The Windy City
    Why would it be a problem for a woman to ask a man out?? I would've been delighted to have been asked out when I was single! It would have been such a relief and a pleasant change of pace from trying desperately to figure out if a woman was interested or not, deciding whether it would be okay to ask her out....
     
    Levite, Aug 25, 2014
    #9
  10. Street Pattern

    Street Pattern Very Tilted

    Location:
    The American Midwest
    All of this!
     
    Street Pattern, Aug 25, 2014
    #10
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    Hawt.

    If it weren't for women asking men out, I'd probably be single.
     
    Baraka_Guru, Aug 25, 2014
    #11
    • Like Like x 2
  12. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    I'm pretty sure my husband wouldn't have bothered putting the moves on me in the social situation we were in when we met (we were at a show at a bar and introduced by mutual friends). Sometimes it pays to be blunt. I leaned over and started talking to him about the band that had just gone on stage, and they sounded like a direct rip-off of the Rentals. Eventually, I got tired of not being able to talk to him over the sound of the not-so-great-and-derivative music, so I asked him if he wanted to go grab a drink somewhere else and talk. We ended up closing down another bar together, and the rest, as they say, is history.
     
    snowy, Aug 25, 2014
    #12
  13. omega

    omega Very Tilted

    If you ask him out, it will make him feel very important in your eyes. That's a good feeling for a guy; to feel wanted, important, and appreciated. He will be amazed and try to figure out what good you see in him, so he can do more of that to keep impressing you.
     
    omega, Aug 25, 2014
    #13
  14. Herculite

    Herculite Very Tilted

    As guys we have been "trained" to expect a certain amount of rejection in asking someone out. It always sucks but we are expected to deal with it appropriately.

    Women generally have not had the same training, which can make rejection worse I think for a lot of them. What I'm trying to say is that if he doesn't respond try not to be too hurt by it. Asking a guy out is great, nothing wrong with it, but don't take it too hard if it doesn't happen. As guys we are constantly told growing up "there are more fish in the sea".
     
    Herculite, Aug 25, 2014
    #14
    • Like Like x 3
  15. fflowley

    fflowley Don't just do something, stand there!


    And if you end up in a long term relationship with a man, keep this in mind because it remains true throughout.
     
    fflowley, Aug 25, 2014
    #15
    • Like Like x 5
  16. MSD

    MSD Very Tilted

    Location:
    CT
    This is good advice and if it doesn't work out I hope it doesn't discourage you from doing the same thing in the future.
     
    MSD, Aug 25, 2014
    #16
    • Like Like x 1
  17. Katia

    Katia Very Tilted

    Location:
    Earth

    THIS! *head desk*
     
    Katia, Aug 25, 2014
    #17
  18. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Actually, it's a lesson that most women still haven't learned.
    Having being out in the dating scene for some years before...and even now...and talking to my other guy friends, having a woman to make the first move is rare.
    Even online, it's the exception.

    I appreciate a woman who knows what she wants.
     
    rogue49, Aug 26, 2014
    #18
  19. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    The kind of guy I go for would not ask. Either because they are shy or we are already well established as platonic friends.

    I was very forward with my now-husband. He saw me as a friend and wouldn't have known I was interested in more had I not instigated.
     
    genuinemommy, Aug 26, 2014
    #19
    • Like Like x 2
  20. MSD

    MSD Very Tilted

    Location:
    CT
    Rare, yes, but the ones who do message you first stand out. I have a date on Friday with a woman who asked me out.
     
    MSD, Aug 26, 2014
    #20
    • Like Like x 4
Page 1 of 2