Things You Just Can't Understand

Some of us get it.

I'm pretty fond of my daughters; but that empty nest crap is highly overrated. Grandma and grandpa have a life again.

 

As I said I couldn't have grasped the kid thing until after I had them, and it really was after the first year. I call it genetic happiness, some things we do to keep our genes happy. Sex is one of those things, kids is another. I've known more than one person who was anti-having kids, until they had them, then it was a complete transformation.

I've also know people who are miserable parents and shouldn't have had them.

I'm a completely free man next week. Wife free, kid free. I'm not looking forward to it.

 

I think if we all unpack our beliefs we would find many things that actually make little sense. One man's belief is another man's "huh?"

I don't understand why we accept that car travel is a normal thing.

I don't understand people who say "we should hang" and don't actually make plans to do so.

I don't understand people who ask me why I'm not vegan anymore, when the same people spent so much time and energy interrogating me on why I did it in the first place.
--- merged: Jun 27, 2014 at 9:04 PM ---

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jW3PFC86UNI

 

Reminds me of something I heard a BT2 say one time in the Navy. I wrote this down so I wouldn't forget it and I could use it for a character in my sci-fi universe. Not my personal view but some people feel this way - "Forgiveness is for people too weak to hold a grudge."

 

In re: the kids thing. Is it a matter of your family and friends and geo-location? Like in smaller towns, in more traditional environments it might be perceived that you are missing out without kids?
And how you were raised?For example, my dad was vehemently against overcrowding the world any more than it was and I so looked up to him and I never considered children, never pictured myself as a mother.
And finally, that peer-pressure thing where many of your friends are marrying and then starting families?
I dunno, I just find it easier to not get annoyed by behaviour, if I understand where it is coming from.

Please don't slam me, but I have noticed one thing about child-free people. They seem a bit more into themselves. Sometimes it comes across to me like selfishness because other than donating a kidney or the like, having a kid is a selfless act. You basically have to subsume your life for theirs for "X"-amount of time. Child-free folks haven't done this, made this incredible sacrifice and again I'm observing, not judging.

I have only one younger sib and we are am quite close. He had a vasectomy at age 25, he was so sure he'd never want to procreate. I've supported him all the way; explaining to our mom umpteen times "why" a person would chose to be child-free. I get it.

 

Can there be different sacrifices that you are failing to observe in the child-free?

I don't know if every parent sees a division between "their life" and the kid's life.

And... merely procreating isn't a sacrifice. One can neglect to raise their offspring and that's hardly a sacrifice or selfless act. Perhaps people sacrifice the opportunity to have children because their calling demands it.

 

Oh, absolutely! That's why I'mm putting it out there--so I can better understand from myriad perspectives.

Mm. Not sure I'm understanding this but I defo do not want all to lump all non-parents or all parents together.

Very true. Raising a child from birth to nest-exit would better articulate my intended meaning. The last thing I want to do is say being a parent is being a martyr; it is indeed a choice. No one should be judged or pressured regardless of their choice.

True.
I respect that humans beings are unique and have our own needs, desires, limitations and aspirations.

Even so, I get a bit feather-ruffled when my child-free in-laws boast about all their exploits. They consider their cats their children and cats are NOT children. They are fifty-years old and have never had to deal with an infant with pneumonia or take a phone call from the grade school that you need to meet your kid's teacher in the ER because your child knocked himself unconscious on the playground.

There is a unique emotional toll that parenting takes on a person--or at least that it took on me.

Sometimes I get pigeon-holed in the stereotypical, one-size-fits-all parent category and that doesn't feel great, either.

All I can do is listen and try to learn.

 

women

 

That you see them as a separate group will be a barrier to understanding them.

 

I can't understand people who are proud that they don't read.

 

...or can't spell.

 

I can't spell worth a damn because phonics was the rage for learning to read when I was a kid but I can use Spellchecker like a mofo.
Understanding you have the problem is the first step.