The Art of Negotiation

I will say in dealing with Comcast: screenshot what they say. We had that come back to bite us in the ass this last year. Got a spectacular deal, something went wrong on their end, and then we couldn't close the deal because we had no proof of the offer they'd made in the online chat.

My dad is a master at haggling, and the most important lesson I've learned from him is this: don't be afraid to walk away. usually, it won't ultimately come to that, as the person on the other end of the deal would like to sell you something/keep you as a customer, but sometimes that's what it takes.

 

Anymore, I think a huge factor in negotiating well is doing good research. With some decent Google skills you can learn the real price of nearly anything. So for bigger ticket items that are worth negotiating, the biggest favor you can do yourself is to do good research. Then, be willing to walk away or find another supplier until you get the price you feel is fair.

 

I'm a good negotiator. I do my best to make sure that no one is butt hurt at the end of the negotiation. Research is a good part of negotiation. There is also the ability to see what the other person is motivated by and use that to your advantage in finding that common ground for a good negotiation.

I have been reading this book. It's great to go back and re-read because it always seems to make sense. I read it after I've completed a negotiation to make sure that I'm able to identify the items that were in the book and how I was able to address them.

Negotiation Boot Camp: How to Resolve Conflict, Satisfy Customers, and Make Better Deals: Ed Brodow: 9780385518499: Amazon.com: Books

We find ourselves engaged in various kinds of negotiations every day, from trying to land a new account or win a promotion at work, to buying a house or a car, or bargaining down a cell phone bill, or settling a dispute with a friend or spouse. In this groundbreaking book, negotiation expert Ed Brodow shows us how to settle conflicts amicably to reach a win-win solution every time.

Using the no-nonsense, results-oriented boot camp approach, Brodow drills readers on the basic skills needed to master the art of negotiation. After completing Brodow’s basic training program, you will have learned how to:

• Conquer your fear of confrontation and overcome the negative behaviors that hold you back
• Identify and develop your personal negotiation style
• Assess the other side’s strengths and weaknesses
• Get the other side to make concessions without giving up any of your goals
• Master the art of listening to understand the other side’s position and strengthen your own
• Avoid getting sidetracked by personal or emotional issues
• Create an atmosphere of trust in which the other party is a collaborator rather than a competitor
• Break through impasses and close the deal

Using a wealth of examples from real-life encounters, Brodow demonstrates how to negotiate for things most readers never knew were negotiable, such as department store purchases, medical costs, loan rates, phone bills, and credit card fees. He reveals how to develop the skills and the confidence each of us need to negotiate successfully, and achieve our goals at work and in our personal lives.

 

There is a great book called Getting to Yes that teaches you to negotiate... Hubby read it anduses the skills to negotiate everything from corporate freight costs to reducing our rent. Apparently it was helpful. I read it and decided it was teaching me how to manipulate people and I just wasn't comfortable with the concept. Another reason why I am not a businesswoman.

 

@genuinemommy that's why I didn't like that book so much either.

Boot camp was a much better read for me since it strives for more win-win negotiations so that everyone gets their needs met and no one feels taken advantage of.

 

Knowledge is power...and that's how I sell...and that's how I negotiate.
The more you know, the better your position.

And since I've sold professionally before for some years, I know every angle in the book.
So they can't sell what I don't want...nor can they get away with any manipulation.

However, I have seen my Ex and her mother...I think my sister too, they have an ability I do not, verbal intimidation.
Not shouting down, but with full verbal sophistication and disdaining tone...making those on the receiving end feel as if they should kowtow to them.
There is no "excuse" to them in what the other person may say in defense or explanation.

But, I won't use this tactic...it is first not my nature to be that hostile & calm at the same time
...plus it needs a verbal jousting ability, where you're quick on the draw. I don't think of ruthless comebacks that fast.
My knack is calm guiding tone and debate.

Actually, she and I switched off on that as needed, good cop/bad cop...whichever was more effective.

I do know this, you need to know where you stand.
If you don't...you're done.
Set your terms.

 

I'm renegotiating our corporate cell phone plan at work tomorrow, because apparently that's part of my departmental responsibilities. If it plugs into something, call IT.

I learned negotiation by watching my mother do it. She's a social worker, and practically a stereotype -- she doesn't take any shit from anyone. If she were black you'd expect to see her in a W network show.

I've recently been realizing that my way of engaging can be a little bit too forceful. It gets me to where I need to be usually, but doesn't always do so gracefully. I've been trying to be more aware of my tone and be a bit more moderate, but it's difficult to be assertive and not aggressive for me. It's a learning process.

I think 90% of negotiating skill is not being afraid to engage. If you're willing and able to speak up for yourself you're already most of the way there. I've never read any books about it but I've worked with some very talented "people people" and picked up most of my skills that way. I think different strategies work for different people.

 

This is a great observation. I think the majority of people give up before the actual negotiation begins.

 

Many people don't negotiate because they see it as adversarial. It's at that point that they disconnect as soon as it seems like there's an adversarial discussion happening. Far from it. People think that because they think that in a negotiation it's a win-lose situation. That maybe the case sometimes, and usually if it is, you've only sold once. In a win-win situation, you'll have a repeat customer who will want to deal with you because they know you are fair and make sure that no one loses.

 

Also, you can set up some "preventative" motions ahead of time.
If you set the story, background and other specs when they're introducing you to the product or service
...often this prevents the other from having leverage in that aspect, because you've already established precedent.

Have your story straight...don't "explain"...if you start explaining, it's a hole they can dig into.
If you allow an underdog scenario, then they'll want to press you into something, or have a reason for everything.

Confident and casual is what you want to be, at least from my method.

My mother often gets into trouble because she allows too much, coming from a weak position...as if needing assistance constantly.
Her saving grace is that she a worrier and detail oriented...so she really covers all the bases before she accepts. But she could still get a better deal.
I think she just wears them out...

 

The bootcamp book goes over what both @charlatan and @rogue49 just stated. It goes over in depth. If anyone is interested in reading it. I'm happy to loan a copy to you.

 

I liked the one I just pulled on a cold call for PMP certifications. (from PMI yet)
She let herself show too quick...almost immediately asked if the issue was money.

Now, I don't believe in certs. You either like my experience or you don't. If not, next. If I can't convince you of my quals, paper isn't going to do it.
So no, I don't want to spend the money, it's a scam to me. ("maybe" in something they "have to" have...but even then...)
Only paper I need is my resume...and you can call anyone. (but you know they're lazy...I know the Feds do it, boy do they)

But I saw that she was ready to leap on that, if I gave her that as a reason. (I guess that's the dominate excuse)
So I went slushy on her, kept it ambiguous.
"Well, there are a variety of conflicts and obligations, such as time...so now's not right. I'll consider it in the future when it's appropriate"

She had nothing.
She would have been better off sending me details in materials or email...allowing me to absorb it at my discretion.
Typically, I'll sell myself, after research...if I need it.
And if she was cunning, she would have asked for my email address to do so...but she didn't...her loss. *click*

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BTW...something like cars...I'll wait for the right timing. So they're more at a goal disadvantage.
End of the month, End of a Season, After the Holiday, etc. (their mgmt really works them over to keep their numbers the same as last period)
Their hunger is your feast.