TFP Confessional

I haven't had sex in three months. I know that's not really a long, long time. But it feels like it is sometimes. I get turned on by the simplest, strangest things sometimes, sometimes just being near a guy gets me hot and bothered. Groannnnnnnn. I'll take note of the weird things that turn me on while Im at work and then let you all know.

 

I work for a non-profit and that's exactly how they all think...do nothing here cuz it's non profit. I hate that!!!!

 

I've recently had to admit to myself that I absolutely hate my current job, and that my current profession bores the shit out of me. I have little idea what to do about it, though.

 

Someone texted me that I don't know and I'm totally playing along.

 

I thought you had developed an immunity to 46 of the 47 brands of pepper spray sold by now. That special mix made in Columbia takes a few more years to build a proper resistance...or so I hear.

 

I kind of ate my feelings tonight.

 

We went out to eat, and I ate way too much tonight. A year ago, it would have been fine, but since I've been eating less, my capacity is also less. I'm suffering now.

 

I keep thinking that it would be really easy to dive into a Charles Bukowski life .
Drink constantly and pour my soul out on the page.

 

I think about that too. Then I think about the people I know who adore Bukowski and I think "na". I'm still down to drink constantly and pour out the soul though. Getting alright at the drinking part. The 'pouring out the soul' part, notsomuch.

 

I am at a point where I could climb into a bottle and disappear. Soul be damned.

 

Every time I see Charlatan's avatar on my small tablet screen, my brain instinctively interprets it as dickbutt.

 

Awww yissss.....

 

I'm about ready to fuck any girl who will let me....

 

@Speed_Gibson, you know they always get me to volunteer for the new formulas; it's just my lot in life...

 

Hopefully she wasn't still on an open line when you re-started the porn with the volume turned up.
--- merged: Jun 1, 2014 at 9:55 AM ---

That doesn't work in the long term. Being alive with a dead soul sucks.

 

I actually laughed when my mother told me that my sister was really depressed that she had to buy size 8 pants.
She's 5'2" and has lorded her size 2/4, XS body over me since I was in high school. Granted she had a kid, but he's 2 1/2 now.
Suck it. Welcome to your thirties, when you can't eat anything you want.
I'm almost in a six.

 

Just take it easy, noodle. Being in your thirties is like Spring Training for Adulthood. Body maintenance amps up a major notch when you hit your 40s. Then body parts start falling off when you get to your 50s.

Just remember:

1) Slow and steady will win the race.
2) Success really is the best revenge
3) It's not the years, it's the mileage.

Good going with all the hard work you've put in. You look wonderful!

 

I know, I put this in Confessional because I felt bad for laughing for a moment.
My sister is... a bitch. My mother will confirm this.
She has tortured me over the years with everything that she can possibly make me feel bad about,
and has a knack for coming out looking like the perfect human being to everyone else outside the family.
I'm not the only one she does this to, though. My poor brother with his major medical issues,
resulting substance abuse issues, and major neuro impact, has also been the brunt of her verbal aggression over the years.
As have my parents and now my husband. Hers, too.
She's really not a nice person. I've come to terms with our relationship... I see her once a year. It's enough.
She hasn't grown up and is still in high-school-valedictorian-bully mode.
The one time, ever, when I was in grad school and got straight As and she did not in her undergrad program,
she announced to the family that it was because she was taking really hard classes and I wasn't.
It really lessened my excitement about my damn hard work. She'll point out flaws in anyone to make herself feel better.
It pisses her off when I look good, and that I'm getting my PhD, as she was valedictorian and never did anything with her bachelor's in archaeology.
So, I felt bad for a minute, but overall, I'm really not feeling that sorry for her. She makes poor choices.
Oh, and I didn't do it to her face, just over the phone with my mother. I'm not that bitchy.

 

Projection, baby. But I don't have to tell YOU that