Sex 2.0? Are we becoming more enlightened?

I find it strange that some people I know have accepted, only to a certain extent, gay relationships (usually because someone they care about has stepped out of the closet), but dig in their heels when it comes to legally recognizing same sex partnerships/unions.

We've come a long way in studying sex and giving names to wide variety of sexual acts that have always existed, but weren't studied and labelled. Acknowledgement doesn't equal acceptance. There are many people who believe that once you open the door to certain sexual activities as acceptable, the door is also open for unacceptable sexual activities.

Because we all have different definitions of acceptable & unacceptable, the battle continues. Some people will oppose anything that doesn't fit their idea of normal, others will promote activities that very few people consider normal.

 

@rogue49: Your advice is greatly appreciated. I'm the kind of guy, that likes to play by the rules of the particular sandlot I've been invited to. EeeGADs! I've even made up a few of my own from time to time!

 

Personally, I think that "tolerance" and "manners" are two mutually exclusive things.

"Tolerance" could mean thinking "wow, he looks gay/she's dressed slutty/whatever" then moving on with your day with no further energy expended. You can tolerate the variations that other folks throw at you. It's when you step outside that internal monologue to give it voice that things start to be problematic. Commenting on or confronting someone about their appearance (or whatever) is simply bad manners and starts edge into the inverse of tolerance - intolerance, where you can't stand to be confronted by the different. Thing is that I don't think that there's been any more or less of this over the years, in spite of what some people would have you believe. All I have to do is look back in history at the lynchings in the South, Oscar Wilde, Matthew Sheppard, etc. to see people move from tolerance to bad manners to intolerance.

There's another level - "acceptance" - that basically means you don't care about what others do so long as it doesn't affect you. The growth of that concept - if it is even possible to have it grow (there's your enlightenment, @Herculite) - is the point of this thread in my mind. Unfortunately, I think that there are simply more people that accept or tolerate the different that are willing to give voice to their viewpoint. I don't think that there are any more or less of them but for the last 40 years or so they've been louder. Perhaps they'll convince more people to tolerate the different and use good manners. If that happens, perhaps the next generation will have more folks who truly accept others.

 

I was about ready to comment on how one can have good manners and tolerate the lifestyles of another (which I tend to think are the same thing), but then you brought up that third level of 'acceptance' and it rendered my comment irrelevant.

Acceptance is definitely something that I'd like to see more of, but in lieu of that (being more realistic) being simply tolerant is a step in the right direction.

...

Also, I dunno about y'all, but I've definitely heard cases of guys being called (and, actually, myself being called) a 'slut'. It does happen, it just doesn't happen as often or as openly.

 

"Tolerance" and "acceptance" are both kind of passive, though. I'd like to see a more enlightened society actually see sexuality as a positive and healthy part of human life, in all of its glorious flavors and colors and designs.

We just watched both parts of the Lars Von Trier movie "Nymphomaniac." There is a scene in it where Joe is at a group therapy session for female "sex addicts" I guess. She remembers herself as a young girl experiencing her first orgasm and experiencing her sexuality with delight. She stands up and tells the group that she loves herself and her lustful ways. (If you've seen the movie, you know that she isn't exactly a model of non-hung up sex positivity...but it is still interesting, including the speech at the very end where the man she's been telling her story to has an interpretation of her life as one which would have been seen/read quite differently if she'd been male.)

We have a great boutique sex shop in my city which always makes us smile when we go in. The people who work there are just joyful about sex and cater to those of us who love sex and we all want to make it as interesting and fun as possible. So my initial question was, I guess, is the population at large getting more cool about sex? Not just tolerating people they think are "queer" or "sluts" but living sexually with intention in the daylight, if you know what I mean. Because I feel like my wife and I are, and our marriage and our life in general is better for it.

 

I was in my first fight long before my first BJ.

My son is all about war and combat right now, but sex isn't even something on his radar. Such is evolution.

 

"Everything is about sex. Except sex. Sex is about power." -Kevin Spacey, House of Cards
.

 

Yes, I believe americans are becoming more intentional in their sexuality. Sex shops are thriving, and not your old swampy dark corner holes. New ones with clever names are popping up daily on Main St, especially in our large urban centers. Interiors feature cool graphics and often there are classes held on how to use ropes and other sex toys that they sell. Our streets have boxes of various cool zines free for the taking, with fun ads for these stores and stories on how to steam it all up, as well as other political, social local news. If you dont happen to live in one of the hipster communities, you can be enlightened in an hour on the internet, and have toys shipped directly to your house in 24 hours. If you have a cell phone, you can stand on a street corner or sit on your couch and locate someone nearby who might want to get sassy with you in just the right way, maybe within feet of where you are and looking for the same right now!

Is the population at large getting more cool about sex? Im not sure.

 

Yeah, Lovers sex shop was HUGE when I was up in Seattle, they had several in Seattle and one in almost every surrounding smaller township... I don't know how much they've expanded since then.