POLL TIME? Sub. Is It Stalkerish?

Short but sweet, I've met a few nice women in my area and i'm trying to get the chance to talk to them more often. Are Small things like paying attn to the days they have work so u can 'happen' to be there more often stalkerish? I'm not there Everyday they work just often enough that contact is more frequent as i believe we don't live in the same town, casual encounters would be Rare. I did look up the definition of stalking and i have no worries i don't qualify but a little insight on this type of thing from some 'realistic' people would be great....Especially P.O.V. on this from the ladies, Thanx

 

Your wording is very awkward; I mean that constructively.

If you "happen" to show up where someone works, that's very "stalkerish."

 

Yes, unless you're working in the same place, paying attention to the days they work somewhere would feel stalkerish to me.

 

hey all ty for the input thus far, although i'm a bit surprised at the opinions so far....it's not like i can leave a chance encounter up to 'fate' if u believe in that sort of thing...we just wouldn't be in any position to meet, and let me make this VERY clear so no one thinks i was actually concerned weather i'm stalking or not, Each of the women i'm speaking of i have spoken to a few times and they seemed in each case to be friendly and open to conversation, sometimes even starting or continuing the convo, now to a normal full of self confidence type of guy that may be enough to just ask, " hey u wanna go out sometime?" but im not that guy, i have to 'get a vibe' that they are interested in me at Some level before i ask them out...i think i have some fear of ejection. In any case when i say paying attention to the days they work i do Not mean i internet stalked them until i dug up some obscure info and found a work schedule and just show up there....ie: one works at the deli in a large grocery store chain and i've noticed when i've been there already a few days she is there are always the same..i don't know All her work days nor do i intend to try to find out. It is cool to come here aand see different opinions...from a guy's POV i wouldn't think that out of the norm in the slightest...but i am a pretty go-with-the-flo type of guy usually. Thanks for info tho Always appreciated, keep it coming

( so yes i feel that the attention is in the Least is Not unwanted, i would never pursue a woman if i knew she wasn't into me...that actually changes the way I feel about them)

 

Ninjamaster0420,

My first response was based on your original post,
it sounded too much like stalking.

Based on your follow-up post,
not so much like stalking.


Unsolicitated advice: Testing the waters, so to say, if fine, but don't take forever to ask a woman out if she seems interested and available. If you hesitate too long, the window of opportunity might close. I've been there, done that, and regretted it.....more than once.

 

Just ask her out! Then there will be nothing left to wonder about whether you're being creepy or not. If she's already been friendly, I'd think your chances are pretty decent she'll say yes.

 

• There's a big difference between "noticing a pattern" and stalking. You seem to be on the right side of the line. Good job.
• Get the fuck off the internet and go talk to these women. They may "eject" you, but I hope not since that would probably hurt and involve the security staff. They might also reject you, but if you're sitting your pasty white ass in front of the computer, you aren't going to find out. You also have to actually learn her name, have something interesting to say to her and not come off as crazy, a loser, desperate or as big an asshole as I am.
• If you've seen them and know where they work, you are, in fact, able to leave it up to fate to put you in a position to meet. Now, if she works at the deli counter and you're a vegetarian, that's a bit of a long shot for fate, but you can always help fate along. Asking her out sooner rather than later is a good idea. You do, however, have to actually talk to her. See the point above.
• If you're hitting on women at work, you increase the chance of them saying "no". There may be rules that prohibit exactly that, so you should have a plan - like getting her group of friends together with your group of friends at some place and time that groups of friends would go. That's a better time and place to actually ask her out.
• I'm tagging @baraka_guru here just because I want to make his head spin with the spelling, punctuation and grammar. And because I'm an asshole.

 

This.

As a person who has been at the receiving end of someone "noticing" when I worked and showing up when there was clearly no reason to, it seemed odd in the OP. If you're living in a different town, it might be rather obvious that you're "showing up" and less likely to look like happenstance. It was less freaky when he said, "Hey, I was heading this way to do _____ errand and saw you were here so I thought I'd say hi". Once. By the fourth time, it was back to creepy. Just be honest.

 

Good point, noodle. Women have to deal with this from a totally different perspective than we guys. How often do you hear of a guy being stalked and attacked by a hot babe?

Don't give her any reason to think you might mean her any harm. Just talk to her and ask. And be respectful enough to just walk away if she's not interested.

 

Once, maybe twice, you can just "stop in to see you". After that, ask her out or cut it out, it's going to be creepy otherwise. If you already have enough interaction to know you're interested, you shouldn't need more than one more interaction for your 'vibe'. After all, that's kinda what the dating is for.