Antidepressants and libido

Antidepressants, specifically, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI) are known to reduce or even destroy libido.

Examples of SSRIs include Prozac, Celexa, Luvox, Zoloft, Paxil, Lexapro .

I myself was on an SSRI antidepressant for some years. I didn't think my libido was reduced. However, after I gradually reduced the dose to zero (a few months ago), I was suddenly 16 again. Well, okay, maybe 25. It was a startling difference.

My wife is still on an SSRI antidepressant, and her libido is very close to zero -- not that it was very high to begin with. She is experimenting with gradually reducing the dose, to little effect so far. But her psychiatrist is not at all happy about the dose reduction.

We are both the same age (58).

From this very limited sample size of 1 man and 1 woman, I'm wondering if SSRI's are more lethal to female libido than to male libido.

Antidepressants are very widely prescribed. Probably some of you, dear readers, have more experience coping with this issue than I do. Any thoughts or advice?

(And no, I am not willing to put SSRIs in my body again. Nor am I willing to pressure my wife to have sex while she finds it unpleasant, or pressure her to allow me to see other women.)

 

It is a known and common side effect of SSRIs, in general. It's also safe to say that each person's body chemistry interacts with drugs in a fairly unique way. So one person can be strongly effected while the next one feels no side effects

 

I take 60 mg of cymbalta every night. It dosent really seem to affect me that I am aware of, but I LOVE sex so that might help curve the side effects.

 

Well, me too. Anyway, I also love sex, and I thought I wasn't affected by the drug side effects.

But it turns out I was. Or there is some kind of rebound effect.

And now we have even more of a libido mismatch than we had before.

 

I was on Paxil for a while. I had no kind of drive whatsoever while on it. I was able to perform, when requested, and I'd last quite a while (probably because I didn't get any enjoyment). My wife (at the time) enjoyed having a robot though, which is all I was while on Paxil. Needless to say when my leg started involuntarily kicking at night, I was fine with quitting the SSRI's. I may have been slighly depressed, but I had some fun, and enjoyed some things. To me that was an improvement.

 

It turns out there's another problem. Initially we thought it was SSRI related, and transitory following the dose reduction, but it has persisted for at least weeks now. Maybe it developed longer ago than that, but wasn't noticed due to her lack of sexual activity.

When my wife is about to orgasm, she suddenly gets an extremely severe migraine-like headache. Usually it goes away after ten or twenty minutes, but sometimes it lasts as much as an hour.

Because of this, she has decided to refuse any kind of sexual stimulation.

 

Sometimes there's just no winning... </Sympathy groan>

 

Just when things were starting to look hopeful.

I hope this serves as some kind of explanation (not excuse) for why I was so whiny and cranky last night. Well, this, and that total horseshit 6th Circuit ruling.

 

Has she seen a doctor about the migraine part? That's just scary.
Depression killed my libido to start with, so I didn't realize Celexa also lowered it until I was ready to be off the meds.

 

I wish that I had something wise & useful to say. All I have is keep trying to figure out what's going on.

We knew a couple with a somewhat similar problem. She liked sex, she wanted adventurous sex. I've heard her say to her husband, loudly and in front of others, on more than one occasion, comments like, "What part of I want to try handcuffs and nipple clamps do you not understand?". Apparantly he was low libido and happy with vanilla sex. The main problem was she was epiletic, and orgasms were sometimes a trigger*. It was a risk that she was willing to take, but it scared him.

* I'm going by what they said, I have no idea.

 

I was on Paxil while in college due to anxiety. My libido was just fine the entire time. The main effect of it was that I couldn't climax. Was very frustrating. Erections weren't an issue, I just couldn't finish.

 

For some reason, it seems a great many people end up partnered to their libido opposites. I think there must be some opposites-attract dynamic at work.

It is very, very hard not to take it personally when sex stops because your spouse isn't interested in physical intimacy. It is corrosive to one's self-esteem. Particularly if you're a man, that loss makes you even less attractive to your spouse (or anyone else).

 

Now for a truly intellectual comment: That sucks!!

My sister was/still is going through something similar with my BIL. He apparantly has lost his libido, and want to anything about it. She lost a considerable amount of weight with Weight Watchers, even got him involved for a while, but eventually gave up when nothing changed.

 

The potential for negative sexual side effects was one of the many reasons I'd been petrified for years to go on SSRIs, despite my ex's several years' worth of effort trying to convince me that I needed them. That's a separate story all its own, and though I hesitate to say she was right, I did decide to be evaluated and ended up starting on Zoloft about a year and a half ago. I've been tremendously lucky to have not only responded very well to it but also not to have suffered any noticeable side effects from it. My libido's better than it has been in years, in fact, though I attribute that much more to my overall improved sense of mental and emotional well-being, as well as the immeasurable improvements I've experienced over the last year in my love life.

So there's that.

 

Avoiding orgasm because of severe headache? This is scary-sounding.
I know that it is embarrassing to talk to one's gynecologist about sex issues but that would be a start, I would think.
The SSRI situation is one I know first-hand. I've gone through a few. My spouse has gone through them all. The side effects were horrible from 50-pound weight gain (now lost), dead libido, increased depression, through the roof BP. Literally, the only things he can do is what I suppose, all of us should try to do, eat right and exercise regularly.
Wishing you much luck and your spouse a resolution to this troubling issue.

 

What about trying something other than Zoloft? Is it possible the migraine issue is also related to the Zoloft?

I've taken several anti-depressants over the years. Only some messed with my libido or ability to orgasm.

I also suffered from awful migraines during that time. Maybe there's a connection somewhere?

I wish you luck figuring it out.

 

Loving someone and not being able to enjoy the intimacy of making love is horrible; it's about much more than just sex We men do want to feel sexually vital and viable, and it's not always or simply an ego thing. I think that all people want to feel attractive, to be desired by others.

 

Really good news: ibuprofen and Ativan, taken one hour beforehand, prevents the headaches. The embargo on sexual stimulation is over.

 

These emoticons will have to suffice: