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is it cheating on your bf/hubby if you feel very nice around men?

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by cheri95, Mar 26, 2014.

  1. cheri95 Vertical

    if you have a bf/hubby is it ok to wear clothes that make you turned on around guys at tennis or is that cheating?? my bf sees my dress before i leave and compliments it, he never says its wrong. and i go with my girl friend but we play doubles with guys there cos there are not many girls there ever. some of my dresses are short/light and i like wearing lingerie instead of the sporty underwear. its fun to feel free around my legs and sports bras do not feel good so i wear regular lacies. is it ok, i never do anything with men there, just enjoy how it feels like a rush and like to go to bed after lol. my bf picks me and my friend up from the courts sometimes anyway. hope i'm not writing too many details, just trying to be honest like a diary (i think i need one but scared someone finds it). at least the nets anonymous as long as my face is not too clear in the picture lol.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    The answer you get here is not going to be reflective of society as whole I'm afraid.
    Now I could be wrong but I don't think anybody here will say that there is anything wrong with you dressing any way you want.

    If your SO doesn't care and you aren't cheating I don't see where there is a problem.
     
  3. the_jazz

    the_jazz Accused old lady puncher

    Yes, it is wrong. You should be wearing a burkha. That's the only way to keep men from leering.

    Or you could just not give a shit.

    Personally, I'd go with Option 2, but you shouldn't trust me since I'm a known asshole.
     
    • Like Like x 6
  4. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    No worries.

    They can read the menu, as long as they don't order to eat...
     
  5. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    Well, they can try. Trust me, nothing stops them.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  6. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    I guess that's an important factor too.
    You'd better know how to put the boys off their feed (to carry that metaphor a bit further than it probably should have been).

    Hot young ladies have a way of attracting nice guys who are interested and if you politely say no, they will go away.
    But they also attract scumbags who do not go away and keep pushing.
    Can you deal with them?

    Not that the clothes really make a difference, you could be wearing a gunny sack and some jerks would be hitting on you but you get my point.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  7. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    Seriously.

    I've had to do the "I told you NO" thing with a couple of guys. What's annoying is when simple conversation from an outgoing female somehow gets misconstrued as flirtation. Uh, no.

    For me, the timeline usually goes: Normal conversation ---> Male inserts flirtatious joke ---> I ignore it, make point to mention husband, continue conversation ---> Male continues flirtation ---> Try to reign them in, mention husband AGAIN ---> Male does not give up, continues bravely on, perhaps getting aggressive with their line of thinking (I even had one guy suggest that my marriage could end in divorce! WORST PICKUP LINE EVER.) ---> Conversation gets completely shut down, guy bursts into flames from my evil eye.

    At any of those arrows except the last one, the dude has a chance to redeem themselves. The guy who suggested divorce got aggressive to the point that someone else at the pub had to step in and emphasize that I had said no, that I had tried to be classy about it and let him move on, but he had ignored it.

    Usually, I just ignore the lines if they're one-offs.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  8. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    You fail to grasp the male psyche, dear snowy. Unless the woman pours alcohol on you and lights it, or hits you with a taser, more than once, it's easy to believe you're doing great with her. That's how we roll.

    For instance, I'm eternally grateful that we live at opposite ends of the country. My irresistible appeal would be too much for you to bear at closer range. This is really to only safe way for us to interact.

    If we ever tried to meet up in the same city....whoo boy. The sexual tension would rise to unbearable levels when I got to within 400 miles of you. And women have been know to have become pregnant by just being within a mile of me.

    Sou you really have to give us a little leeway on this.

    It's a guy thing.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  9. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    Stay far, far away. No babies in this here uterus.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. the_jazz

    the_jazz Accused old lady puncher

    The best part of that story was when you punched me in the balls, then used my tongue to pull my head down into the bar, Van Damme style.

    Like I said that night, you looked mighty fine in that burkha.

    Wait, what?
     
    • Like Like x 4
  11. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets


    It just ain't easy being a guy, snowy! I'm 3,000 miles away and yet I can sense the presence of your lovely breasts. I can literally hear the minute sound you just made when you moved and your cleavage shifted. By the quality of the sound, I'm thinking it was about a 9.4 mm shift, right breast. And you just can't turn it off, either. That's why it so rough being a guy, especially when you get older.

    The lucky ones kill themselves early, to make it stop. The rest of us sad SOBs just slip away slowly, till our brains are nothing more than offline porn sites....

    Am I right, guys? Back me up here!
     
    • Like Like x 4
  12. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    I know how to work it.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  13. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    Dude, most of us are smart enough not to talk about it.

    Way to sound sad and needy.
     
  14. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets


    Cheri95, I find it hard to believe that most 19 year olds are far enough along in life to cheat at all (taking the longer view, that is). I hope that doesn't sound too flippant, but you're so young right now. You have so much of your life ahead of you.

    As for your choice of clothing, I think it's highly likely that anything you'd wear would end up looking like sexy clothing, so just go with what you like. There may come a time many years in the future when you feel less comfortable in wearing such sexy clothing, so you might as well enjoy it.

    You bf is older and more mature and that's a big plus. For your own self-respect, you should never allow any guy to think he has a right to tell you what you can and cannot wear. A mature guy would feel special knowing that such an extraordinarily hot woman wants to be with him.

    Flirting can be harmless and fun if done the right way. I do it frequently, because it's fun and it can be entertaining if yu have the right flirting partners
    .
    --- merged: Mar 26, 2014 at 10:10 PM ---

    Just trying to bring knowledge to my friend. I'm an educator at heart and always will be.

    And I suspect that snowy knows just how sarcastic I was being.

    :D
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 2, 2014
    • Like Like x 2
  15. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    You? No way!
     
    • Like Like x 2
  16. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North

    Sure, try to cover it up now after you gave us all away.
    :eek:
     
    • Like Like x 1
  17. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets


    Not me, snowy, not ever.

    But it was your right breast, and it did shift a bit more than 9 milimeters.

    To the East

    In an ambient relative humidity environment of approximately 62%

    at an ambient temperature of approximately 21-22 degrees Celsius.

    Against a cotton-polyester blend, possibly microfiber




    just sayin'
    --- merged: Mar 26, 2014 at 10:19 PM ---

    Ignorance leads to misunderstanding. Misunderstanding leads to animosity. Animosity kills any microscopic chance that a man has of getting laid at all in his lifetime.

    I've come to bring the light of truth to the people....
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 2, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
  18. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member


    Are you in my room?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  19. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets


    It's what I've been trying to tell you, it's like combining long range radar imaging with an advanced super computer..all devoted to one thing.

    A lot of women think men are stupid, but that's not true at all. It's been scientifically proven (in the sense that I just made this up) that the average human male devotes nearly 90% of his brain capacity to Boobs. Once you take away enough brain space to handle basic survival functions and autonomic nerve responses....well, there just ain't a lot of space left over. So it's not stupidity, our resources are overallocated.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  20. cheri95 Vertical

    he is pretty open with my dresses me but thats when he is with me i guess. but yep he is not saying its wrong to wear :)

    lol it feels nice to be leered. i look at mens shorts but only when men can't see my eyes.

    hot :p

    true, my dress still covers me except for windy weather. my thighs been handled sometimes but its kind of to direct me back or forward etc

    thats a good tip - mention boyfriend :D, i forget but will remember from now on. they seen me picked up by him i guess anyway.
    --- merged: Mar 27, 2014 4:50 AM ---
    wow ball! your very incredibly nice :D i just feel lucky to be taken seriously be someone mature like him. i always tried to be close with my fav teachers and they treated me like a kid which was pretty disappointing :( so its heavenly for a man his age to let me be so close. and my exbf was my age and scared the life out of me with his hands.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 3, 2014