is it ok to marry if you have sex a lot or could it cause problems in the future?

i heard how lots of married couples have less sex after married, so is it ok to marry if your boyfriend has a lot of sex with you? my boyfriend lives next door and works from home so we are together a lot.

 

Only you and your boyfriend can decide what's right for the two of you, cheri95. It's not necessarily true that sex will diminish after marriage, any more that it's a given that sex won't decrease over time if you two aren't married.

Take your time before deciding anything, don't be rash. It comes down to the two of you, not what anyone else says about how your lives will turn out. If the relationship is strong and it's right for both of you, it'll still be right later on.

The older you get, the more you'll realize that life is about learning who you are and doing what's right for you. Being together a lot can be a great thing if that works for you two. It can also be too much, if either of you needs to have regular time to yourselves. Talk to each other, listen to each other, and respect each other's views.

Good luck to both of you, whatever you decide!

 

thanks hamster you are very friendly
at least my boyfriend has a lot of experience and is 42, unlike my exbf that got me into bad trouble.
my boyfriend asked said we should get married, so want to but its not like i know what marriage is like lol

 

I'm guessing you're in your early 20's or so.
Can I say that the sex, while important, isn't going to be nearly as important as how he treats you when you get sick or when he's had a bad day?

If you get married the time you spend together looking at each other over the breakfast table and cleaning up the house are going to be part of your life too.
You need to want spend those times together just as much as you do screwing.
Getting married means sharing stuff like having to put up with each others bad habits and bad breath.

Hot sex is wonderful but are you also willing to stick with this guy if he gets in a car wreck and can't walk for the rest of his life?
If yes, then marry him.

Otherwise have sex, fuck each other every chance you get.
Enjoy it because you are young and should.
Marry when you find the person you want to die with.

 

I have a daughter about your age, cherie95. This specific topic has never come up, but I've told her the same thing in general that I'd say to you. At your age, you can feel rushed, like you have to decide your life right away. As you get older, you gain more perspective and you realize that you don't really have to. Rushing causes more trouble that it solves. If you guys really love each other now, you'll love each other next week, and next month, etc. Marriage is a huge step if you take it seriously, so take your time if you feel you need to. And it's hard for someone to tell you exactly what it's like; it's something you need to experience and your views will be shaped by your specific experiences (as will his).

It may be different in your bf's eyes because he's so much older, and that's understandable. But I must say that, in my experience, love is the second most important thing in a relationship behind respect. It's truly important to respect each other's thoughts and feelings, and it needs to go both ways. But, like I said, ultimately only you and he know what's right for the two of you as a couple.

I hope the future leads you both in a happy direction.

 

hello there redravin, almost 20s, i'm 19. yep i sleep in his bed a lot and wake up so i know his breath.
yup been in bed with him with a cold and can still enjoy the same.
he is the only person to see me wee in the bathroom so thats pretty close lol
in a car wreck, i'd feel really sorry for him and never leave him

hamster i am rushed, even when i was 16 i tried to be a mum cos their was a dad i was babysitting for and i kept imagining i was the wife/mum. so i always had my eyes on marriage.
maybe i will live with my bf first, cos so far i only stay for 3 nights each week.
i would have before but mum doesn't like him

 

Sex isn't a finite thing you have a set number of times with before you stop having sex with someone. You can't "save" it much up for later. Married couples do have less sex, but for a lot of reasons. Throw in kids, and work, and just time together, and aging, and the natural desire of the body to seek out new partners, and you will find "less sex" happens. Added most people start to let themselves go physically and you have a recipe for infrequent sex.

My wife and I fucked like rabbits at your ages, and we still have sex but not like rabbits. Whats a animal that has sex twice a week?

 

hi Hercy, what about masturbating do couples do less of that too?
my bf was married for like 15 years but i forgot to ask him how sex life was during that. or kind of don't wanna ask him lol.

 

Not in my case. I've been married for almost 25 years, and I do the solo thing more than once a day.

 

i feel stressed when i do my massage course, so i like to relieve just before class. it makes me feel dreamy which is good at school

me too. when i go home after sex i do a solo, cos its hard to go stop arousals straight away. i thought it might be just part of puberty cos it began age 14 but it sounds like olders do solo everyday too.

 

cheri95, please forgive my bluntness.

I'm reading a lot of inexperience in your posts, and I mean life in general, not just sex. You're 19, you have full life ahead of you that could go in any number of directions. Do you have long term plans for the future? If yes, consider how being married might affect them. What do you really know about your current BF? At 42, does he have future plans?

Don't take marriage lightly. It could influence your life in more ways than you could ever imagine.

Some things to consider:
Education, employment, children, business travel, vacations, relocating/moving, homeownership, etc., etc.

 

i think i've had sex more than all my gfs, cos their bfs are too busy. my bf works from home so easy to be with
i study massage at box hill so i can be a massage therapist soon, its the only career i can think of.
my boyfriend said he is ok with that.
i'm moving into my bfs home and if we still love each other after that we can marry!
my bf said i can have a baby but we both wanna wait a while

 

Cheri, I gave you some general advice because I didn't know you situation when you first posted.
This one is going to be a bit longer so bear with me.

I was married the first time when I was 17 and my wife was the same age you are.
We were deeply, madly, passionately in love.
The sex was hot and we were determined despite everyone telling us it was not a good idea to be together.
It wasn't the sex that changed.
We changed, we grew up into very different people.
You talk about having babies.
When we had daughters, my wife wanted to build walls around us to protect them and make them safe.
I wanted to expand the walls, make the world the a better place for my kids to grow up in.
We grew apart, we were not the same people we married and we could not live together with out hurting each other.
Our daughters are glad we got divorced, it would have been toxic if we had stayed together.

Second story.
A good friend of mine saved a girl from an abusive family.
He waited until she was old enough to marry and took her away even though he was almost fifteen years older than she was.
He taught her about things she hadn't been exposed to and helped her heal.
I gather the sex was pretty damn good once some of the damage was overcome.
But she was becoming her own person.
So you had a geek who thought he had stumbled into the romantic story of his dreams and a girl who felt she owed him her sanity.
They probably stayed together longer than they should have.
There was a lot of pain when they broke up.
He couldn't change dramatically, at that age most men can't.
The things that bother you are set, he will be this way forever, by in large, good, bad or indifferent.

TLDR: You are young. Become yourself first before you commit to something so permanent.

 

i'm ok with just living with my bf even without marriage. he is just really fun to be with and really hard to stop being in bed with. so as long as i can snuggle him i'm ok to put off marriage