Booty Call Etiquette?

Condoms!

 

Overnight was ok. Discretion is paramount. I didn't care if she had a hygiene kit or not...

 

1080p camera
4 lights with umbrella stands
No less than three lava lamps
Complete discretion if she's fat, tell all of your homeboys if she's hot

Granted, I don't do booty calls, but if I did, that would have to be the established minimum criteria.

 

Huh. I've never thought about this... I guess because I always try to be a polite guest, whether I'm there for dinner or just sex.

I like the kit idea, though. I actually carry around a small bag with travel deodorant, toothbrush & toothpaste, and face wipes, and it's come in handy quite a few times (in non-sex situations.)

I suppose my number one rule for a booty call is "don't make it out to be more than it was."

 

I was okay with overnight as well, but there was an unspoken rule to not talk about it with anyone, including ourselves.

This was some time ago, but I don't suspect that the rules would be any different today.

 

It depends on my relationship with the guy. If we're friends at all or just using each other to get off. Even with the latter, some lines get blurred, and sometimes generic, acquaintancey-type booty calls turn into friendly hangouts where we go see movies or go shopping together, just for the easy and casual company.

I do have five rules that I can think of off the top of my head.

1. Condoms, as has already been mentioned.
2. If I'm cycling through multiple regular partners, I let all parties involved know that I'm sleeping with others so they can accurately gauge their "risk factor" and determine if they're comfortable with it. Most are, a few haven't been, but I definitely believe in giving them the information to make that choice.
3. If one of us gets into a serious relationship with someone else, we're still friends, no butthurtedness allowed.
4. Select regular booty calls carefully. Always make sure that they are someone you would never seriously date in order to prevent romantic attachment. I'll chose cigarette or pot smokers for this reason, as those are major dealbreakers for me.
5. Never sleep with someone that has any form of significant other. Girlfriend, wife, separated from wife, in process of divorce, an "it's complicated" scenario, just don't.

That's what I've got right now. It's been a long time since I've hit the casual sex scene. May come back with more later.

 

Booty Call is such a crap term. It's what happens when you're single, she's single and you really don't want to deal with the anxiety and pretense associated with a relationship. They should call it a Diversion Fuck or something. Booty Call sounds like a jungle-themed '70s porno title.

I've met a couple of girls through various meet-ups and traded contact information. Usually the idea to get together for NSA sex stems from an instant message convo at 3 AM. "I'm so goddamn bored." "Yeah, me too." "It's 2 AM and I'm hungry and horny and too lazy to do anything about." "Well, we could fix that." "The food part?" "Or both." Most amusing part is how neither party is really serious at first and then somebody pushes it.

These were the rules as far as I understood them (some partners discussed them openly, others relied on some type of psychic powers):

1. Third party locations are preferred if you both have roommates and don't want the world to know you casually bang relative strangers. Seedy hotel rooms - GO. I absolutely can't stand the Next Morning Roommate Ambush in the Kitchen thing. It's just super "Use a Fake Name" awkward.

2. Complete lack of usual sexual activity escalation of force. There is minimal foreplay and flirty conversation. Sometimes you just whip the belt off and start slamming. Other times you're just watching a movie in bed and nod at each other. Like it's a two-person chore you've gotta get done.

3. Sexual activity menu is discussed beforehand to prevent any awkward issues with where things are going and how they're getting done. It's hilariously frank. "Don't bite my nipples. It doesn't do anything for me." "Don't play with my toes. I'm ticklish and I'll lose whatever is building." "One finger in the ass is fine." "Don't change positions if I hold onto your wrists." "Can you pull my hair hard when I come? I mean hard." "Even with a condom, don't come inside me. Just shoot it on my chest." Sometimes I felt like I had to take notes. Sometimes I felt a little like a blow-up doll.

4. Zero obligation to maintain any type of contact. Friends With Benefits stuff: it's just sex, you're not picking out window dressings. Definitely the mantra. Some wanted to shower immediately afterward, some wanted to cuddle, some wanted a cigarette, some wanted IHOP. There was no obligation (although part of sex is what you do after, it can be satisfying), half the time I just dropped the "I have to go study some Title 18" excuse.

Don't know if anybody else has felt this way, but I've felt like Diversion Fucks were usually more satisfying than "I've been with you for six months" because you don't have to worry about emo stuff like feelings and "you don't cuddle enough." The sex was just more raw, less scripted. Good stuff.

 

Obviously safe sex is paramount, but after that I'm not one for rules, so it changes based on the situation. Sometimes someone would stay over night, other times we were separate before the afterglow was. Sometimes it was kink, other times it was nice and vanilla. I'm in a long term semi-monogamous relationship with an old fuckbuddy, and we'll probably end up getting hitched.

As with all things, it depends on the situation.

 

Heh, I read that totally wrong.
Thought you were into golden showers at first.
My bad.

 

Discretion and condoms. Beyond that, we're talking about what two people want to do in bed, not a booty call.

And Plan9, your diatribe/redefinition makes you sound really white. I thought you had more soul in you, brother.

 

Not enough soul, huh? Let's try this:

I realize that I'm unwilling to acknowledge that Cynthetiq's original post quite successfully manages to encompass the extent of the thread's discussion. While etiquette is clearly defined in the dictionary, I will tirelessly offer my canned personal perspective in yet another tasteless, narcissistic diatribe. Even though it's all so blatantly obvious here, I will waste the keystrokes because I quite clearly enjoy the sound of my own voice.

I've taken it upon myself to inform the collective we of what they're really thinking.

...

Alternatively:

Here's your (collective we) option.

 

Well I've never heard it called booty call, its called fuck buddies or friends with benefits or one night stands (I think). While I have never been in this kind of situation I would imagine number 1- safe, 2 - communicate (both expect the same) and 3 - discretion. Slight thread jack - how and when have people found themselves in these situations? I have never and often wonder if its because I don't drink?

 

From a sense of general getting-along-with-people etiquette, I plus-one the sensible words of the other posters.

Innocentmiss - I, too, have never. I do drink, but was naive - It is only in recent years I realized that I had, in the past, sometimes nearly been in such situations, but simply had not read the signs as being anything beyond intense interest in discussing intimate matters. I simply had no clue, back there then, to notice or deliver sexual messages unless they were firmly embedded in romantic intent with view to possible life-partnership, or part of stage-performance.

 

I've been with my wife since I was 18. Booty calls were never an option. Sometimes I wonder what I missed out on, but not nearly enough to question what I have now.

 

For me the key point is "don't be pushy, and accept that she might not be up for it on a day when I am up for it".

Everything else is pure gravy...

 

Zen - Yes I think perhaps I have been too naive or perhaps to guarded. Thinking back to when I was a teenager I can think of a few occasions when I was convinced the guy chatting to me was taking part in some kinda of bet. Confidence I guess.

 

been a long time for me but I always had one rule:
clean underwear