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My penis gets too hard

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by mopeddude, Mar 11, 2014.

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  1. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    I'm picturing you wandering around, terrorizing the area with your inflamed package. We might have a good plot for 50s-style sci-fi revival movie, @rogue49!

    Scientist is accidentally exposed to nuclear radiation. His penis starts growing until it's the size of a football field. It then lays waste to a small town in New Mexico, squashing some townsfolk, and smothering others in gallons of radioactive cum.

    The Air Force tries a bombing run, but that only pisses it off and makes it grow larger. Finally, a dashing young scientist develops an antidote consisting of several tons of ice water, and 24 hours of Justin Bieber music played through really big loud speakers.

    We're talking Academy Awards, my man!
     
    hamsterball, Mar 15, 2014
    #81
    • Like Like x 1
  2. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Oi Vey @hamsterball , what a visual :eek:
    What are you...Mashugana?

    That "thing" would have to float by itself, as part of its powers.
    And I wouldn't be carrying it...it would carry me. (which it seems to do anyway IRL :rolleyes:)

    And how would I survive the bombing? Would IT cover me??
    Do I at least get to shave & shower beforehand?? I don't want to dragged around all stinky & skanky looking.
    But it's Hollywood, so I guess they'd brush me up perfect before shooting.

    *sigh* That's a relief.
    All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up. :cool: (so to speak...)
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2014
    rogue49, Mar 15, 2014
    #82
    • Like Like x 2
  3. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    I was inspired by Woody Allen's version of "Everything you wanted to know about sex..."

    One of the vignettes involves the countryside being ravaged by an enormous breast. It's really quite funny!
     
    hamsterball, Mar 15, 2014
    #83
    • Like Like x 1
  4. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North

    Attached Files:

    redravin, Mar 15, 2014
    #84
  5. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Dude, I think the Japanese have millennia of sexual weirdness on us westerners.
    I don't think we'll catch up.
    But at least we get to see the goods in pics without blurring. At least, we can say that.

    But can't we just have plain old random sex with those we desire??
    My penis is still too hard.

    Then again, I guess they'd be able to pick us randomly too.
    All's fair.

    I guess, I'll just use my testicles to catch some dinner tonight.
    Cook up a nice meal for whatever woman shows up. I'm a gentleman that way. :cool:
     
    rogue49, Mar 15, 2014
    #85
    • Like Like x 2
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