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My penis gets too hard

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by mopeddude, Mar 11, 2014.

  1. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Hell yes! And people will shut up and listen. I guarantee it!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect

    Location:
    At work..
    Prove it....:)
     
    • Like Like x 2
  3. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    It'll haunt you for the rest of your days, my friend. We're talking serious emotional scarring.

    The kind that doesn't go away.

    Ever.
     
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
  4. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect

    Location:
    At work..
    Nah, I saw the video of miley Cyrus twerking. It can't be that bad.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    A 20-year old girl shaking her tiny little ass is nothing compared to the sight of a grown man demonstrating the gavel-penis.
     
    • Like Like x 3

  6. maybe Plan9 is the OP
     
    • Like Like x 2
  7. zoolady

    zoolady New Member

    "Too hard" for WHAT?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Fremen

    Fremen Allright, who stole my mustache?

    Location:
    E. Texas
    Too hard to chiffonade basil. It just makes a big mess.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  9. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    To hard to clean windows with, they get all streaky.
     
  10. Charlatan

    Charlatan sous les pavés, la plage

    Location:
    Temasek
    That's it!

    From now on, I am going to chiffonade with wood!
     
    • Like Like x 2
  11. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Especially if you can do it without hands... ;)
     
    • Like Like x 2
  12. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    Relevant:

    My dick... hard as a rock.

    Your dick... floppy like a tube sock.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    I had to quote myself in order to add the bold & underline that I should've used the first time.
     
  14. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    To be clear, if it was every time he had a boner, I would be permanently exhausted. Obviously, I'm not around every time he has a boner, and he doesn't always want to present them to me.

    The joke in our house is that he has the stamina of a 30-year-old with the recovery period of a 19-year-old. That's a lot of boners.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  15. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    My attempt at humor took a wrong turn. If I still had the consistent hardness, stamina, & recovery time that I had when I was thirty years old, my wife would permanently exhausted. Or I would have a very muscular left arm.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  16. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    No, no, it was funny; I just wanted to clarify some things about my own prowess. There's only so much pounding a girl can take before she has to get creative.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  17. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    You're a dedicated trooper, Snowy.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  18. Why don't I remember this?

    Motherhood has made me lame.
     
  19. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    My penis is too hard.
    I'm going to do something about it...waste not, want not. ;)

    I'll post in the "too much sperm" thread next if you want to find me later.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  20. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    Yeah, how did you end up with that signature quote?