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My penis gets too hard

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by mopeddude, Mar 11, 2014.

Page 2 of 5
  1. Cayvmann

    Cayvmann Very Tilted

    Location:
    Central North Carolina
    So, it's that easy. I should just put on sweats when I have a boner, then the woman will have to help me out with it. All this time I've been trying to be a gentleman and all I had to do was put my wiener in front of her...

    Maybe I'm being too hard on myself
     
    Cayvmann, Mar 11, 2014
    #21
    • Like Like x 5
  2. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    That's how it works in my house.
     
    snowy, Mar 11, 2014
    #22
    • Like Like x 3
  3. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    You know what else is really hard? Grammar.

    (I know...I know.... The only thing I can get wet is this here blanket....)

    But srsly: Just how high did these three loads go? More important: What was the approximate volume? (Either total volume or per load. No biggie.)
     
    Baraka_Guru, Mar 11, 2014
    #23
    • Like Like x 1
  4. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    Yes, homophones are hard.
     
    snowy, Mar 11, 2014
    #24
  5. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect

    Location:
    At work..
    I could only wish
     
    ralphie250, Mar 11, 2014
    #25
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    And run-on sentences can go aaaaaall night!
     
    Baraka_Guru, Mar 11, 2014
    #26
    • Like Like x 2
  7. Levite

    Levite Levitical Yet Funky

    Location:
    The Windy City
    True. I seem to recall that most days between age 11 and age 20, it was rare to go four hours without a hard-on.
     
    Levite, Mar 11, 2014
    #27
    • Like Like x 1
  8. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    That is what my husband tells me.
     
    snowy, Mar 11, 2014
    #28
  9. Levite

    Levite Levitical Yet Funky

    Location:
    The Windy City
    It was great for wanking, very bad for gym class, being called up to the front of the class to give reports or solve problems, or school dances.
     
    Levite, Mar 11, 2014
    #29
    • Like Like x 2
  10. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    Yes, but can you hammer a a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?

     
    redravin, Mar 11, 2014
    #30
    • Like Like x 7
  11. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    Holy crap! I remember that movie!
     
    Baraka_Guru, Mar 11, 2014
    #31
    • Like Like x 3
  12. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    Everytime your hubby has a boner?

    Damn!
     
    Chris Noyb, Mar 11, 2014
    #32
    • Like Like x 3
  13. Street Pattern

    Street Pattern Very Tilted

    Location:
    The American Midwest
    We have already established that he's a lucky man.
     
    Street Pattern, Mar 11, 2014
    #33
    • Like Like x 2
  14. Charlatan

    Charlatan sous les pavés, la plage

    Location:
    Temasek
    Boner.

    Pro tip: Don't wear track pants. Be a man and get yourself some clothes with structure.
     
    Charlatan, Mar 11, 2014
    #34
    • Like Like x 3
  15. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    I don't know. I find boners come in handy during meetings. People will definitely pay attention when it's standing attention. Track pants make it obvious that you mean business.

    If you're a real tough guy, you can also rap it on the conference table to get people's attention.

    :p
     
    hamsterball, Mar 11, 2014
    #35
    • Like Like x 4
  16. RedSneaker

    RedSneaker Very Tilted

    Not for the female population. Amiright??
     
    RedSneaker, Mar 11, 2014
    #36
    • Like Like x 3
  17. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    A girl's gotta have her standards. ;)


    Yep, so you can cut diamond with it... :cool:

     
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2014
    rogue49, Mar 11, 2014
    #37
    • Like Like x 1
  18. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    OMG, I laughed so hard that my husband looked at me as if I was a lunatic.
     
    snowy, Mar 11, 2014
    #38
    • Like Like x 2
  19. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    Tell us more about how wearing some ball-hugging Dockers is going to help a guy that clearly needs room to maneuver below the belt.

    If the OP was wearing skinny jeans, the hand job never would have happened.
     
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2014
    Plan9, Mar 11, 2014
    #39
    • Like Like x 3
  20. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    Didn't he already know?





    ;)
     
    Borla, Mar 11, 2014
    #40
    • Like Like x 4
    • Agree Agree x 1
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