My penis gets too hard

I met this you gal 22 years old and we hit it off right away ,we have been hanging out now for about 2 weeks she is very cute. She was over at my house I went to change into some sweat pants cause I had a super stiff erection,I came out of the bedroom she was sitting on the couch when I walked in the room, she said nice very nice she knew I was erect because my sweats sticking out in front. she pulled my sweats down and my penis stuck out and curved up towards the ceiling. the head is much bigger around the the shaft, she wanted to give me a hand job so I let her. my penis was so hard she could hardly bend it and the shaft was very red I stood there by the couch and she rubbed my penis it was throbbing the whole time it took abut 30 minutes till I shot 3 big loads high in the air. she just loved it my penis and everything. that never happened to me before I wonder if that was normal and has any ladies seen a penis like that , would you gal's like that? please let me know what you all think about this. THANK YOU ALL.

 

Another sexual Superman heard from?

 

I'd say everything sounds about normal. Lasting 30 minutes receiving a handjob for the first time sounds a little abnormal, in a good way.

The below quote is the part of your post that isn't normal on the TFP.

 

--- merged: Mar 11, 2014 6:30 AM ---

--- merged: Mar 11, 2014 6:33 AM ---
Sorry about the part I wrote that you said was not normal. That was only my first time with that girl.

 

Yeah, but how much can the OP shoot? If its anything less than a ZSU 23-4 Soviet antiaircraft gun, we're no longer impressed.

...

Back on topic:

What? Being excited? Having your wang threaten to shoot off like one of those pump-to-launch water rockets from your childhood? Getting a sweet hand-jibber from a new girl you met just last month because she was uber impressed that you're hung like a baby's arm holding an apple? Forget Normal, I'd consider these Good things.

Question: Do you masturbate while viewing a lot to pornography on a regular basis? Such is known to build calluses both physically and in the fantasy realm. If this is something that concerns you, simply avoid it for a week or so and watch as you turn into a normal two-pump chump with the ladies.

No, thank you. Welcome to TFP.

 

I think the OP just likes typing the word penis.

PENIS.

 

I've always found that word to be awful. I mean, who comes up with this stuff? Some guy that clearly isn't using his right.

Why couldn't it be something more agreeable? Like "loveclub" or "impregnator" or maybe "fleshspear of life," huh? Ugh.

The problem with our sex organs isn't that they look like H.R. Giger's xenomorph but that we have given them shit names.

We have chosen terms that shame our sex organs and their slimy being, their squirting purpose, their magical oh-yeahs.

 

"Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back."

Monty Python
--- merged: Mar 11, 2014 at 7:24 AM ---
By the way, I think it's "too" hard... (not that I noticed, or anything)

 

Penis.....

 

Perhaps we could take mopeddude's post at face value.

There have been many improbable fantasy posts here (anyone remember the well-hung guy who's GF would recruit virgins for him to "spoil for other guys"?) . If this is indeed an in-his-mind-only fantasy, it's a relatively mild one.

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FWIW, I find "woman maker" to be hilarious. Thank you (sarcasm), Jean Auel.

 

Or "pork sword."

 

I think I'm gonna need CPR!!!

 

Finger 11

 

Is there such thing as too hard??

 

Where was that euphemism thread...