Things you should have to get your shit together

I came across this article, which @damnitall and I thought was pretty interesting: 15 Things Every Girl Should Have By The Time She Hits Her Mid-20s | Elite Daily

Also, I know not everyone is a girl in their mid-20's on here, but I thought that most of the points are pretty universal.

The article, for those who don't want to click:

Now clearly the main issue I have with this article is that there are only 14 things, as opposed to the title's 15, but I digress.

For me:

1. As of right now, I don't have a regular waxing routine, but once I have a real job, I fully intend to follow that. I'm lazy as fuck when it comes to shaving, so I might as well pay someone to rip it all out of me for weeks at a time.

2. I do have a skincare regimen by which I swear, and since people seem to compliment me on my skin more than anything else, I feel like that's going well. I use Neutrogena Oil Free Acne Wash (or any of the generic brands when I'm feeling poor) to wash, then use a light toner, then moisturize the shit out of my skin twice a day. Once a week, I try and do a light scrub or mask, and a nose pore strip.

3. I have a few restaurants in the area that I suggest when I have out of town guests in town, so hopefully that counts.

4. I have a red Kitchenaid stand mixer and I am obsessed.

5. I have several scents that I rotate, but I'm hoping that I can settle on one "signature" per season.

6. I like to bring booze to housewarming parties, because Booze. Not too many of my friends are having those yet, because the rest of us don't have our shit together, obviously.

7. My standard bar drink is Jack and Gingerale. Nice and simple, and not to froufrou.

8. I'm all about candles, so my areas usually smell pretty nice.

9. I have some basic makeup looks that work, though it's still fun to experiment.

10. I have no need for a great strapless bra at this time, I try and buy clothes so that I won't need one at all. My boobs are heavy, man.

11. I'm working on my lingerie collection, but it's coming along ok.

12. I'm a baglady, so I have some nice ones. I could use a few more upscale ones though.

13. I collect pretty thank you cards from the bookstore, so I'll keep building that collection up before I have to quit.

14. I could definitely use some nice workout clothes. It might be a better motivator.

SO what about you guys? Do you have your shit together yet?

 

No... so much no.

I mean, as we discussed, I have a few things, but I have a ways to go. In many respects, as far as this list is concerned, I am a male college student.

At least I don't use Axe body spray.

 

We would have a legitimate problem if you did.

 

I saw a list similar to this a few months ago, aimed at men. Both kinda made me go, "ummm...no?" I know people who have nothing on this list (well, I mean, I guess...I haven't checked any underwear drawers ) who are "together," and I know people who have all of these things who will absolutely crumble the minute something slightly bad happens.


For the sake of discussion, though...hmmm, let's see.

Routine waxes: Nope, nuh-uh, no way. I'll shave when I'm wearing a skirt or a bathing suit, and keep everything neatly trimmed, but you're not coming NEAR me with hot wax. Especially my lady bits.

Skincare regimen: Yep yep. Noxema twice a day, St. Ives moisturizer twice a day in the winter, only once (before bed) in the summer. I learned through trial and error that pretty much anything else either makes me break out worse than when I was 14, or turns my face into a cracked desert landscape.

Restaurant for guests: Uh...kind of? We don't have guests very often. If my family comes down from Ohio, I'll try to take them somewhere that Ohio doesn't offer, but that's about it. I'm more of a, "what do you think sounds good? Pancakes? Cool."

KitchenAid mixer: Nope...I'd love one, but at this point in time, I don't cook enough to justify buying one. Then again, I've been using gift-giving holidays as excuses to stock up our kitchen, so maybe that will be on the list next Christmas.

Signature scent: Dove or Caress bodywash, with apple or hemp lotion. Special occasions mean jasmine-scented essential oil.

Housewarming Gift: Depending on the person, either wine/liquor, or something plant-able.

Standard Drink: Guinness if they have it, Yuengling if they don't. White wine if it's with dinner.

Smell Good House Stuff: Candles. I used to do incense, but Eden can't handle it. Lemon, linen, or summer fruits are my favorites.

Makeup: My makeup looks exactly the same no matter what time I leave the house. I might add glitter if the situation is appropriate, though I'm finding that happens less and less.

Strapless Bra: Nope. I have a good halter style bra, but I can't do strapless. Which is fine, since I never wear anything strapless.

Lingerie: I have underwear I like. I have bras I like, but they end up getting replaced every six months or so. No fancy-schmancy stuff, though.

A quality bag: Nope. I carry a purse because I have to, and it's always a cheap Target deal. I did score a nice laptop bag last year, though. Festival/convention/walking around all day stuff, I either have a backpack or a zip-pouch ID holder for my license, debit card, and cash.

Pretty cards: I started sending hand-written letters last year, so I have a few thank you cards, and a box of pretty stationary. Which reminds me, I need to buy some more. And write some more letters

Workout Clothes: Nothing fancy. A good sports bra, and good running shoes. Everything else is usually twenty bucks or less. I have neon shirts for running in the mornings, and dark pants that are usually some sort of spandex blend. I don't look cute when I work out, and I'm not worried about looking cute when I work out. I usually DO sleep in the same clothes that I work out in (uh...after laundering, of course), because my workout clothes are really damn comfy.


A lot of these things seem awfully superficial. I mean, if you feel like you have your shit together (and evidence supports that), then you probably have your shit together.

 

1. Only those equipped to handle the pain of childbirth can bear the pain of skin waxing -- and I say that as a guy with high pain tolerance. I shave my neck most days.

2. I just use body soap. I forget what brand. It doesn't matter.

3. There are dozens of very good restaurants within two miles from where I sit.

4. I don't cook often enough to worry about a mixer.

5. Around here, wearing scents (by either gender) is seen as a chemical assault on passersby.

6. I give fire extinguishers as wedding presents. Everybody needs one. For visiting, I don't have a standard item to bring: it really depends on the party.

7. In an ordinary bar, I ask for a glass of the darkest beer they have on tap. If it's a mixed drink context, then a gin and tonic.

8. I keep the house smelling nice by regularly scooping and changing the kitty litter.

I don't think the rest apply to me.

 

I love this idea.

 

I'm with @Street Pattern on #7, only vodka-tonic (if my face can take the punishment).

 

Seeing you with a bloody face was terrifying. Please don't repeat that.

 

I thought I had my shit together, but it turns out that I look like absolute crap in a strapless bra....

 

Let me tell you honey, it's hot. I'll haunt your dreams.

 

Routine waxes: OH hell no. Not a chance. I'm happy with shaving, thank you.

Skincare regimen: I am allergic to everything and after Accutane, my skin all over became even more sensitive. I use Vanicream soap when I shower, whether it be morning or night. Twice a day in the summer, once in the winter, otherwise I'll crack. Vanicream light lotion in the morning after I wash my face if I have dry spots. All over, I tend to use Banana Boat After Sun lotion or The Body Shop's brazil nut or hemp body butters.

Restaurant for guests: Yes, several. More expensive, less expensive, cultured, beer gardens, you name it, we've got a decent place at home. Here in Louisiana, it's "how risky do you want to get?"

KitchenAid mixer: Yup... but because the man bought it.

Signature scent: Hubs bought me a bottle of Eternity... he loves it with my skin, but it gets overpowering at times, so I really only wear it for him when we're headed out somewhere. Otherwise, I smell like The Body Shop's brazil nut body wash and body buttah.

Housewarming Gift: I vary by the host... something food-based or alcohol, planty, family friendly, etc.

Standard Drink: Depending on the locale, I have a few. Baybreeze, a good pinot noir, or a great craft beer. I don't like to limit myself and I hate hangovers.

Smell Good House Stuff: Glade apple custard candles. Most kill my allergies.

Makeup: I'm allergic to almost everything. I will vary the eyeshadow color at times, but I use an Almay palatte, Almay green tea caffeinated brown liner and pink sparkly brow/inner eye highlighter, neutrogena mascara. Hemp lip stuff from The Body Shop or a dab of a sheer pink lip gloss.

Strapless Bra: Negatory. My boobs fall out of them.

Lingerie: Fancy stuffs make me itchy. I have two nice bras and some nice undies from Vicky's but more because they fit than anything for sexy time. Hubs likes them, though.

A quality bag: I broke down and bought a Big Girl Bag when I was going on internship interviews last year. It's big, holds my laptop and necessities, leather with reinforced forners, and has a cool pocket thingie that unzips and slides over the extended handle of my luggage. And it has a bright turquoise liner... so it's a little girlie. But, I just carry a purse if I don't have my laptop.

Pretty cards: I don't have time for that shit.

Workout Clothes: Two pairs of yoga pants, which I also wear around the house, multiple sports bras (I have to wear two when I run), and I tend to just wear a tshirt to work out now. Once I can heal up Asshole Frankenhand, and get back into CrossFit, I'm going to invest in some lighter-weight gear that won't hold as much sweat. I do, however, have kick ASS shoes... innov8 crossfit shoes. Da bomb.

But, I don't need all that girlie stuff... I've got my shit together. I'm six months shy of my Ph.D., I have great friends, an amazing husband, and a decent head on my shoulders. Other than my knife skills, which obviously need honing, I think I'm doing pretty well without smelly stuff and pretty bras.

 

You, my dear @noodle, have illustrated the difference between a girl and a woman.

Speaking for no one but myself, girls can be fun but they can't hold a candle to women.

#soapbox

 

Oh I agree. I'm not girly for for the most part, and I have the shit I need without the superficial stuff. But damnit if I don't feel powerful when my bra and underwear match!

 

Agreed!

 

For sure. I think I do need some separate workout clothes though. Since right now I just work out in clean pajamas, basically. Plus a sports bra.