'Murican Thanksgiving

I'm enjoying my short week by procrastinating.

We've chatted about Canadian Thanksgiving, but it's almost that time to celebrate it in the land of stars and stripes, where everyone gorges themselves and gets drunk around family they may or may not like.

I like Thanksgiving. It has the best food of any holiday, you're encouraged to be a fatass with food and alcohol, and there aren't any gift-giving expectations.

On Thanksgiving, I will occasionally wake up early to watch the Detroit parade, as my childhood best friend's family is always in it as some of the big head mascots. But I also like sleeping in, because hey, day off.

We've always celebrated Thanksgiving with my mom's side of the family at my aunt and uncle's house since it was basically a mansion with a huge kitchen. Due to a very messy divorce that involved prostitutes, copious amounts of coke, and several instances of blackmail (true story), the mansion is no more, so we're packing up and going to my grandma's. Small house, but it should be cozy.

We used to celebrate thanksgiving with my dad's side of the family too, but now we're pretty scattered and aren't really close with them anyways.

We don't have too many traditions, except for stuffing our faces.
My family is typically in charge of mashed potatoes, which might be my favorite food group. My aunt makes the most kickass stuffing in the world, so most of us end up in some form of a carb fueled diabetic coma by the end of the night. We have a few family birthdays around Thanksgiving time, so instead of traditional pie, we usually have birthday cake.

The Lions/Packers game is usually on the TV, and typically that ends with us silently weeping into the communal whiskey.

Do you enjoy Thanksgiving? Any fun Thanksgiving traditions? If you had to estimate, what percentage of your body weight do you eat every year?

 

I'm sorry I laughed at this, but it seemed so bizarre....and the perfect set up for people to talk about their dysfunctional family gatherings. Love it!!!

I am 2500 miles away from my OWN crazy family. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite. I love going to my mom’s cousin’s house. She only cooked one day a year and this was that day. She’s a lot like me. She can cook and she’s actually pretty good at it….she just doesn’t enjoy it. The food was always amazing and I always ate way too much.

I always thought it was great that we welcomed my cousin’s ex-husband and his baby mamma. They’re still good people. I’d tell that to friends and they would be confused. We all liked the guy, but he and my cousin just weren’t good for each other.

No coke at our Thanksgiving though….maybe some meth or weed though.

This year I am having Thanksgiving with my Japanese in-laws. We’re having some noodles with fish heads. I really don’t remember what BaBa (DaddySquirrel’s mother…nickname for grandmother) said we were having…but I’m sure it’s that. Probably some daikon radish since I said I liked that the last time I ate at her place.

Since we’re eating Japanese Food (which will be amazing because BaBa is an amazing cook) and not good ‘ole fattening ‘merican food, I’m having a gluttony fest at my place on Friday. We have a turkey breast, whole chicken and some duck wings. It’ll sort of be a Turducken. There will also be lots of carbs as side dishes. I can’t wait!!!

I already had one Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday night. Rugger Thanksgiving is always a blast and very tasty. I made the mistake of leaving the leftovers that I brought home for DaddySquirrel on the counter. My boys found them. In my defense, DaddySquirrel was drunk that evening. He rarely drinks and thus is a light weight. However, his favorite holiday beer was on tap. While I was at Rugger Thanksgiving he was drinking Figgy Pudding with his friends. I had to pick him up and drive his ass home. He gets very clingy when he’s had a bit too much to drink. When I found him, he was hanging all over our friend. When I arrived, he was sooooo happy and started clinging to me instead. I know he was drunk because he kept telling me over and over again how much he loves me.

I could have some more traditions in the future.

 

I'll be spending Thanksgiving with my living-in-sin woman and probably my dysfunctional mother, assuming I can get her to crawl out of the old mausoleum.

Pregame may consist of Shitty American Beer (TM) on the deluxe couch followed by a very likely trip to Denny's for a deluxe turkey dinner served by Raoul.

...

You are NOT allowed to get near my current girlfriend. My god, there would be a spudtacular squee explosion and the house would go up like Chernobyl.

 

Yeah, our life got a little soap opera-y for awhile. Remind me to tell you about the time I was followed by a private investigator.

This sounds like a challenge. I'll bring the butter.

 

Hee hee hee...I'm excited!

 

Jeez, I thought we rednecks were bad at get-togethers.

I don't remember any weird drug or alcohol related shenanigans on Thanksgiving in years past, but there've been a few football related fights and injuries over the years.
We usually have a game among all our uncles and cousins and feelings inevitably get hurt, along with a few ribs or limbs. Nothing too serious.
Also, there was the time we almost burnt up the lawn frying the turkey.

I'm looking forward to sandwiches the day after Thanksgiving. Almost everything we have on Thanksgiving thrown on the sandwich. Oh, yeah!

 

I'll be taking cornbread dressing and pecan pie over to daughter #2's house since she is the holiday point person for our family these days (blessed be). I don't have any other close folkses here except for my sister and she has gone to Asheville to stay with my mom and stepdad for the week.

Our new holiday tradition seems to be cooking, drinking wine, watching horror movies and talking shit all day. I love my little family.

 

Stuff faces. Watch Packers destroy Lions. Rinse and repeat.

This year we're doing it a day early. I really couldn't tell you why. I don't question my mother's decisions anymore.

 

Thanksgiving breakfast is turkey and all of the trimmings at my son's house. Usually 10-12 folks chowing and watching the parade, then some football.

Then I usually go crawl back under the bridge.

 

It'll be at our house this year. A huge raft of my in-laws, my mom and my aunt, and a family of friends we're close to. I'm cooking, which is fun for me, and probably better for everyone than if my MIL were in charge, since she tends to cook food as though it had done something personal to her.

There's usually a lot of talk, and a little sports (my FIL and BIL are fans, as to an extend are my MIL and SILs-- Mrs. Levite and I have zero interest in football), lots of watching the kids play, and a LOT of picture taking-- my in-laws document their lives like they were observing themselves for anthropological reasons.

We do the usual "everyone say what you're thankful for," but really our one "serious" custom is that we read aloud Lincoln's original proclamation of a day of thanksgiving. We don't do Pilgrims and Indians in our household, since there is little reason to think that there was ever one true "original" Thanksgiving in November with the Pilgrims and Indians, and lots more reason to think that it's kind of condescending to remember sharing turkey and corn with them and not massacring them for their land and giving them smallpox and whatnot. Instead, we really value the sentiments of Lincoln's Thanksgiving, and we try to celebrate in line with those.

 

I haven't done Thanksgiving with my family since I moved down to NC...I usually do Thanksgiving with Eden's family, then see mine over Christmas. When I was younger, my favorite part of the family get together was playing cards after eating. I learned to play Hearts, Euchre, and Rummy after stuffing myself on different Thanksgivings.

To be honest, the thing I dread about doing the holiday with Eden's family is, every year, without fail (well, let's be honest, every family get-together, throughout the year), someone always thinks it's hilarious to offer me turkey. Several times. I just smile and laugh it off, but it gets a little wearing.

No one ever has alcohol, my family or Eden's. I think we had wine one year at Christmas, and that was like, the biggest deal in the world, and it didn't happen until after my grandma fell asleep This year, one of our favorite bars is open Thanksgiving night, so we're going to try to round up some of the cousins for a drink or two after dinner's over.

Oh--and cooking. The past few years I've made green bean casserole, which is something I like that surprisingly, everyone in Eden's family likes, too. I'll be making it again this year, but I'm thinking of making a sweet potato dish or maybe something pumpkin-y as well.

 

It looks like you folks on the eastern part of the country are in for some tricky weather.... Travel safely to your families, & have a happy thanks giving.

 

The party is at my house, this year. Cow on the grill (I'm tired of turkey) with whatever folks bring.

I'm expecting my youngest daughter's husband to go off on a religious, anti-liberal rant that tests my ability to bite my tongue. Why would this year be any different?

 

ooh, that's rough.

 

Going to be an interesting thanksgiving this year. My divorce is almost final. The actual final orders hearing is this Friday. I will have my twin 3 year old girls. And my sister is coming with her 20 year old son. I did realize a couple days ago that my ex took the dining room furniture, so I have to figure out something. I am doing bbq ribs this time. I have smoked turkeys before, but turkey is only so-so.

 

This reminded me: Eden's uncle always leads a prayer before everyone eats. More than once, he's alluded to Eden and me, though he uses something vague like, "...and we pray for those who..." Trying not to laugh is always an issue. I am not above holding a child and using them as a shield.

 

Thanksgiving to me will always be the experience of being crammed into my Nana (mom's mom)'s tiny Brooklyn apartment with my parents, sister, five aunts and one brother and their respective spouses, four cousins and a lot of family attitude. Nana, my mom and her sisters would squeeze into the tiny kitchen taking on their individual cooking tasks, each specializing in what they made best. To this day theirs has been the best turkey, stuffing, green beans, mashed potatoes and creamed corn that I've ever tasted, despite—or because of—the constant stream of bickering that came out of the kitchen as they worked. The rest of us knew well to keep our distance, as there was nothing we could contribute to that mess. Even offers to wash and dry the dishes were turned down because they all had it handled.

My parents became the primary hosts after my Nana passed away, and while meals in my childhood home were always enjoyable—and the high class wine and cocktails were always plentiful—the tradition was obviously never the same, especially with my mom assuming the role of stressed out hostess, at times to extremes.

This year I'm traveling to my sister's house for a much more scaled down—and hopefully low-stress and low-drama—affair for just our immediate family. Beyond the food, which I know will be tasty as always, I'm especially looking forward to joining my nieces, at their enthusiastic request, to watch Elf after the meal.

Oh yeah, and I'll be by myself this year. That'll be new.

 

I actually loathe the holidays. There are just way too many people that i mostly don't like anyways. My husband's family is traditional. Dinner on Thanksgiving with traditional Thanksgiving foods. His grandma makes fantastic turkey and noodles and his mom makes yeast rolls that everyone raves about, but i don't really enjoy. They're dry and cold because she makes them so far ahead of time. Don't tell her i said that. She is sensitive about her cooking. What we bring every year changes. This is our first Thanksgiving since we have moved into our house in bfe, so this year i am making pumpkin praline cheesecake, made with pumpkins that i grew in my first garden ever and eggs from our chickens in our backyard.

My family is way less traditional. Every year it changes and it is never on thanksgiving. The first year that we really started doing it (my mom and siblings and my step dad and step siblings), it was a spamurkey Thanksgiving. That's right, spam shaped like a turkey. Since then, we have had chili Thanksgiving, spaghettigiving, and this year will be cornbreadgiving. I haven't decided what i will make for that one.