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I am so very lonely and just want a woman to love me for once

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by ds81, Nov 22, 2013.

  1. ds81

    ds81 New Member

    Location:
    Longview TX
    I am very lonely and so very alone, I don't have women lining up to be with me, I haven't had a real woman in years and I have no idea what it feels like to be loved,wanted,desired, I am 32 years old and only had one real relationship very long ago. I always get rejected and mocked at, I never get a date, I am just so tired of being alone and so very lonely. I just want to be loved and wanted for once in my life. it seems it is truly hard to find anyone who wants me. I don't want a fwb, I don't want a one night stand. I just want a woman to love me and want to be with me. I have so much love in my heart to give to a woman but none want me. I am overweight not from being lazy and shoving food in my face but because of my thyroid and meds don't work. if you are willing to look past my weight you would love who I am and love my company.

    What I am looking for and trying to find is a woman who is serious and who is ready for a real relationship, one who knows it takes work and dedication and knows it takes two people to work through our issues. Someone who won't up and leave when the relationship gets hard but who will actually stay and try her hardest to fix things and make it. Someone who is truthful, honest, loyal,faithful, a woman who won't cheat because she and I got in a fight or she is becoming unhappy with me instead will talk to me about it and us work through it and knows sex doesn't make a relationship and that sex comes later in the relationship once we actually established a great relationship on a solid foundation and is not wanting sex after our third or fourth or fifth date but who will wait till we actually build a real solid relationship.

    I am more looking for a single mother as I am wanting a family. I am wanting us to have family night every friday night, us watching kid movies, eating whatever the kids choose for dinner that night and we play board games and card games together, go for a stroll in the evening with the kids between her and I. I am wanting someone who I can write love poems and notes to, who I can text every hour on the hour even in between because I am thinking of her and want her to know it. I want someone who I can watch the sunrise with as the kids are asleep and us drink the same cup of coffee together. I want someone who I can make love to before bed and early in the morning and if we can in the evenings while the kids are getting ready for bed. I want someone who I can be romantic and loving to and who will be the same way to me. I want a family. I want to take the kids to the park, to the lake, us feed the ducks together or go fishing and camping or some other family activity we all choose to do. I want to draw a hot bubble bath for her and as she soaks in the tub, I wash her hair, shoulders,back,breasts,tummy,legs,feet,toes and even shave her legs and underarms as she relaxes. I want that kind of relationship and family with someone special. That is what I am looking for. That relationship and family that you only see in movies.

    My Hobbies and Interests are: Parks,Lakes,Zoos,Walking,Fishing,Camping,Music,Movies,Art of all kinds,Museums,Bowling,Putt putt golf,Shooting pool,Video games,Flea markets,Yard sales,Garage sales,Rummage sales,Window shopping,Photography,Malls,Shooting guns,Archery,Reading poems,Writing love poems/letters,Sunsets,Sunrises
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2013
  2. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    You want what many men want, and I wish you all the best in finding the right woman.

    I might be misundersatnding your post, some of it sounds like a profile that one would put on a dating site. You do know that TFP isn't a dating site?


    Edit: Something went really weird with the quote.
     
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2013
  3. We can pretty easily see what you are looking for in a significant other. I now ask you this: What are you looking for, from us?

    Platonic companionship? We can certainly do that. Conversation? Just look about you. Intellectual stimulation? Definitely.

    However, if you're thinking this is a dating-type site or that you'll find the person to spend the rest of your life with, you will want to pursue other avenues. It has happened more than once that members of this board have begun relationships, but it's definitely not the norm; we're more here for intellectual and mature conversation than anything.

    Wishhing you the best in finding what you're looking for.
     
  4. ds81

    ds81 New Member

    Location:
    Longview TX
    No, I am far from controlling, I was just ranting/venting and actually describing the way I would treat the one I am with and what I am like in a relationship. I am far from controlling or demanding.
     

  5. a hobbit getting with a hottie is not the norm. no. but it happens. @lordeden

    @ds81 when it comes to women its not just about looks. regardless of what you look like, if you give the vibe that you are not confident in yourself as a person, and you mope and feel sorry for yourself, you'll find it extremely difficult to find someone to attract. ive seen some ugly but confident mother#$@&^ get girls i can only dream of because of their confidence.

    The best way to get out of a rut ive found is to exercise. not to lose weight, but to kick start the motivation you're looking for. good luck
     
  6. curiousbear

    curiousbear Terse & Bizarre

    IMHO you will find your soul date when you search yourself

    Like when you are after your passion, dreams and the challenges. Sometimes you own fears.
     
  7. ds81

    ds81 New Member

    Location:
    Longview TX
    I actually am pretty confident with myself and a love who I am and I actually love my life, just unhappy with the being single part.
    --- merged: Nov 23, 2013 at 4:16 PM ---
    I live in a small dead end town has nothing around. I know who I am and I do, do my passions and I do things that are challenging for me.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2013
  8. Indigo Kid

    Indigo Kid Getting Tilted

    Hmmmmm, a guy with a baby kitty Avatar tells me to run and fast.
    I dunno. Sorry....
    Had to be honest. We do have honest truthful insight here at tfp.
     
  9. RedSneaker

    RedSneaker Very Tilted

    Try a dating site? It would at least increase your exposure to more potential women.

    Try something new - a new route to work, a new place to walk, a different grocery store. Sometimes it's about being in the right place at the right time.

    Talk to women you see. Engage them in conversation.

    You say you're in a small town. Is travel an option? Visit a bigger city that's close by.

    If all else fails you can get a mail order bride...

    I kid.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  10. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    I have a buddy that got divorced a few years ago. Mid 40s, average looking, lived in a small town 30-45 minutes from anywhere. For the last few years he's had more dates than could be counted. I've met several of the women he's dated during this time and they were all attractive, lived fairly stable lives, weren't too crazy, and most had solid careers and prospects of their own. My wife continually asks me "how in the world does he get all these women?"

    The answer?


    Right here:
    He engages basically every woman within 20 years younger and 10 years older in conversation. He's friendly and just starts with small talk. If it isn't reciprocated he moves on. If it is, he starts flirting immediately. If she rebuffs that, he moves on. If she doesn't, he usually ends up with a number/email and often with a date. I've watched him do this over and over and over again. Because he always does it, he's gotten good at it. Because he's done it enough to have a lot of success, it doesn't bother him in the least when he's shot down. He isn't playing a game, he always is himself in these scenarios. But he exponentially increases his odds of meeting someone.

    The second thing he does is the online dating sites. Same strategy (engage as many people as possible in conversation), same end result.

    IMO the biggest factor is the constant verbal interaction with women around him though. It makes him comfortable in doing so, which makes it seem natural to the women he talks to. If you don't do that frequently, it often will make you uncomfortable, which then comes across as lacking confidence, being awkward, or even creepy.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  11. ds81

    ds81 New Member

    Location:
    Longview TX
    I live on the outskirts of the town, town is 3 miles from me, off a main highway I walk, walking a different route is not an option, I am on dating sites but they are worse. As for a bigger town/city it is 12 miles and I go there every time I get the chance. but there's still not much to do. I do engage women and talk to them but with my weight thats what they see first and most just outright ignore me or are rude to me.
    --- merged: Nov 23, 2013 at 6:30 PM ---
    Hmm, and yours of a Sphinx and planets are better? why?

    At least mine is cute and adorable :p
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2013
  12. RedSneaker

    RedSneaker Very Tilted

    Please don't be creepy! Haha.


    If your weight is something that is getting in the way of your happiness: address it. Either by losing some weight or coming to acceptance with yourself the way you are.

    Talk to your doctor. Plans that are doctor supervised may be helpful - at least to get your body on the right track. Medifast is one that comes to mind.
     
  13. ds81

    ds81 New Member

    Location:
    Longview TX
    I have been to doctors it is my thyroid and they have tried meds but each one breaks me out with rashes or hives or causes other issues. I have come to accept my body and my weight years ago, just other people are unwilling to look past it.
     
  14. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    I agree with the online dating. It will get past the weight thing you're concerned with...let them focus on your personality and other strengths.
    It increases the volume of potentials...plus you'll already know that they are available.

    It's hard, but it's just like finding a job...you just keep putting your hat in until something sticks.

    BTW...I wouldn't do just winks/flirts...but actually send them a brief message...something simple but complementary. You'll get better results.
    Be sincere. Be polite. And simply ask them if they'd be interested.

    Also, get a hobby/interest that puts you around a variety of ladies. If you're not around them, then they don't know about you.
    Be open. Be humorous. Be yourself.

    I wish you the best.
    It's not the easiest thing, but you'll do it.
     
  15. ds81

    ds81 New Member

    Location:
    Longview TX
    I am on dating sites and I have sent real messages to every woman in my town and neighboring towns and I got ignored or told not interested. real messages commenting something in their profile i liked and asking them a question and telling them i liked the same. I'd wait a week or two get no reply so I would do another asking if they are interested thats when they would tell me no either I am too ugly or fat. as for doing stuff in my town its small, nothing here but tons of churches and a college. I been to the college and had classes its all women younger then what I am looking for and that like clubs and bars. i hate those places.
     
  16. Fangirl

    Fangirl Very Tilted

    Location:
    Arizona
    Do you have a sense of humour?
    Do you have a decent job or are you motivated to look for one?

    What are your relationships like? Do you have any friends? Are you friendly with your co-workers? What about family?

    Do you have the kind of job that you could get out of your small town and start anew? Since you say your town is boring with nothing to do, why do you stay? ( I grew up in a small New England town, a few minutes after turning age 18 I left--permanently. It would help to have a moving buddy--someone to split rent with-- I needed that much to make it a reality.)

    Besides having a relationship, what are your dreams and aspirations? Do you have goals set? Are you working toward them?

    This ideal woman--can she be fat, too? Because there are plenty of people who carry extra weight, as I'm sure you know. Can she be super-skinny or not the ideal body type in some other way? How picky are you about a potential mate's looks?
    How is your hygiene? Do you shower every day? Brush your teeth, shave, use deodorant?

    What is your appearance like? Are your clothes clean and mended? Do you have a sense of what best shows your appearance? Your own personal style is what I'm getting at. It does not have to be high fashion, but your clothes should look like they fit you. Right now, I'm trying to teach my son, who is going away to college, what looks best on him. He is a big guy--6'4" and he needs to lose weight so it is super important that his clothes fit in a relaxed, but not sloppy way. We went through a men's catalog tonight because he only ever wears t-shirts unless going to a funeral, wedding or fancy dinner. So polo shirts are a start--extra big--extra long. No more "plumber's butt," as his father call's it. That is so unattractive. (Am also buying a nice belt--that he picked out, as he has refused to wear one.)

    Do you drink alcohol-- if so, how much? Use recreational drugs? How much and how often? Smoke cigarettes?

    That all I have for you for now. First impressions count a great deal. You must put the best you forward. Anything less than that and you are not putting in 100%.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  17. RedSneaker

    RedSneaker Very Tilted

    Great questions @fangirl Definitely things to think about, address and explore.
     
  18. Indigo Kid

    Indigo Kid Getting Tilted

    Well I've been to Egypt to do archeological illustrations... what do you do to kittens?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 1, 2013
  19. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Well, if he's using the Internet to it's fullest...like any good user, he's making them go to heaven. ;)
    Actually, I hate that web meme for jackin' off.
    Can't we think of another?
    I like kittens...even though I'm allergic to most.
     
  20. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    Something also went wrong with my post, not sure why it was so dark.