Online Dating

Oh relax, I understood fine. I mean you mentioned something about 20 millenia or some such nonsense when everyone knows the history of the earth itself only goes back 6K years total.

 

No no no, gait speed is the 5th vital sign. /physical therapist

 

Really? I always learned, Pain- 5th and Gait- 6th. But what do I know? The way I learned and taught CPR is nothing like it's done today.

 

They just change that shit every year so they can sell more manuals and make people take updated training.

 

Not sure about that, could I guess. I know with things like CPR they found chest compressions were just way more important then the breaths, so they changed it. Same thing with how they train people to deal with seizures. Years ago it was "put something in their mouth so they don't swallow their tongue." I know it changed sometime ago and just saw a PSA on TV where a person for suffers from seizures states "I can't swallow my tongue, not possible. So if I'm having a seizure please roll me on my side and try to keep me from harming myself or others."

 

This old married guy agrees with what Borla the old married guy posted.

RedSneaker, & others, thank you for acknowledging the "too comfortable too fast" comment.

The best advice I can offer is take it slow, get to know the person, see how things unfold--basically don't be in a rush. I would be a bit leary of someone who unloaded too much personal info early on; OTOH I would be leary of someone who acted secretive. How to judge which is which? I do not know. Some people are naturally open, that doesn't necessarily mean that they're needy and/or clingy. Other people are slow to go into personal details, that doesn't automatically mean they're hiding something.

FWIW...............If I were back in the dating game (I use game intentionally), especially someone I only knew via the net, the first date would be mutually casual. Probably lunch, no place fancy, but certainly not someplace cheap*. If we clicked great, it not either of us could bail pretty quickly. If the possibility of a relationship was clear, I would slowly escalate the intimacy (I don't mean sex, although at some point adults need be clear on what might or might not happen) to see how thing went.

* I've see many nicely dressed women (quietly fuming) with casually dressed men (seemingly clueless) sitting in fast food joints.

 

Being one of the old people who remember shit from the way it used to be it's difficult for us at times. We we're often trained in absolutes and we believe what we believe because we had it hammered into our heads, esp those of us who were EMT's and above. You know if you took an office CPR or Red Cross 1st Aid course 15 years ago it's likely your attitude is different than if you drove an ambulance for nearly 20 years. I started noticing a few years ago some very major changes and one recent trip to PDX I found a "EMT Cliffsnotes Cram Plan" book in Powells so I bought it. I think it's 2011 and really been helpful.

As for the asshole taking photos I've run into that before. I tossed a guys camera into the Wilson River once. "Opps, so sorry" he told me he was gonna get me fired, blah, blah, blah. I told him "good luck I'm an unpaid volunteer." Never heard word one about it.

/My participation in the thread jack.

 

This old unmarried but in LTR agrees with you and Borla.

Having been through the dating thing after 25 years of marriage. Actually for the first year or two I didn't even really date. I went out, I had fun, I often woke up in a hotel room in Merida or Cancun with a lady a barely knew. Almost all stated "I'll call or e-mail you when I get back to the US and maybe we can..." Over 50% of those ladies I never heard from again. Several called and e-mailed, one turned out to be married even though she swore she wasn't. I was half drunk (she was as well) when we met at the resorts pool bar, her tan lined finger didn't bother me at the time so I'm as much at fault as her. A few came back a couple times. One really wanted me to move to her state so we could continue seeing each other and more often. When I declined she got peeved and by the end of the conversation was really peeved I didn't offer to have her come live with me here. Yes, I've met you three times in Cancun for pretty much just sex, you know what? Lets move in together. You have kids? No problem bring them with you. What could possibly go wrong? None of that I would call it dating.

When I did start dating both on-line and people I've met IRL I found there's simply a lot of people out there that didn't fit into what I was looking to find. Given my age I really didn't understand the on-line thing well at all and often thought I was meeting a completely different person then I met. But that happened IRL too, met a nice lady a party and had coffee with her only to find out she was a raging racist. In my mind the more information you have before dating someone the better. Save your time/feelings and theirs.

 

Can you thread jacking types start a new thread? You know I love you and stuff, but Geez Louise.

No matter what a brand new, possible romantic-sexual partner says/ agrees to before the actual date, unless I wanted/was willing/wouldn't be surprised if he/she got overheated once touching started I would NOT get between the sheets with him or her.
You don't know him or her. You have no reason to trust or mistrust him or her, so err on the cautious side. Human dating/mating behaviour is not all that mysterious. Hormones, people. They trump the brainwaves once you get to a certain point of arousal. And how can you know anything about a person's personal brain wave behavior and arousal state before you get to know them better?

 

All true - but (surely) only a problem if you ever get to know them better! While that's usually been my preference, I have to admit that sometimes it hasn't been. And it didn't hurt.

 

Dear RedSneaker, I can only imagine how I would feel if my date goes on describing details of our date with a crowd (even if it is a GREAT crowd).
Sorry I don't mean to be rude or spoil sport... Just very frankly saying... May be it is just me who feels that way...
--- merged: Nov 5, 2013 3:02 AM ---
BTW I only read up to half of second page and quit reading and posted the above comment. Not sure what details you posted later. Again pleaseeeeeeeeee don't think I am blaming you

 

This is somewhere a lot of us come where we can share these things in the privacy of semi-anonymity. It's helpful to share life experiences and get feedback from outside sources. If we limited what we shared here to what would be acceptable to tell a crowd, I think a lot of us would feel a lot less free to share here.

Relating to the topic, things in @RedSneakers situation went faster than I would have been comfortable with a random person I met online, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Personally, the gambling leading to living with parents would probably be the game changer for me. I can understand coming on hard times, but unless he has some other damn endearing qualities he should probably get his own shit straight before he goes looking for someone else to bring into it. Along with the awkward behavior, he doesn't should encouraging. But hey, I didn't meet him and am going on very limited information. I'm curious, do you plan on seeing him again?

 

No, I don't. For many reasons, that have been mentioned already. I'll try again, with someone else and try to have better communication and boundaries.

This was the second date that went all crazy like. The first date actually went fine and normal.

@curiousbear - I came here specifically to get feedback - this is not a story I'd tell at a party. This person is not a member here. I don't know anyone personally, here. Isn't the point of being here to share? You don't have to read if it's not your cup of tea.

 

Please don't be discouraged by some of the terse or bizarre responses here. I'm sure the community here is glad to have you here and appreciates you sharing your adventures in modern dating. I hope to see you contributing to other threads here.