Online Dating

No. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

I refuse to believe women are THIS oblivious! I mean NO! C'MON!

He wanted the dirty. I know it. You know it. He knew it. And now you're tryinna ack coy? What? Tellin us "oh, I don't know what his intentions were" wiggah pleeeeeez.

 

Yeah, sorry about that. That all reads as very strange. I'm glad he didn't turn out to be a creep.
Don't give up hope, though. Pace yourself. Keep your eyes open. You'll meet some good people.
--- merged: Nov 3, 2013 2:58 PM ---

That's not what she said at all. The way I interpreted it, he never really made a move until the next morning when she was feeling ill. She's not being coy.

 

Yes, I think he did AFTER I TOLD HIM HOW SICK I FELT

I think I even used the phrase "it feels like a monkey crapped in my skull". THAT is when you wanna go in for your move? No.

I guess you could make an argument that the snuggling was him making a move. But it did not come across as sexual. AT ALL.

I dunno, it was just an odd experience.

 

Ugh, I hate interpretations. They are so subjective! N'way, MM let's review, I think I can sway you over to my side.

So, Redsneaker here

a) invited him over to spend the night.

I take this to mean that after the bombs were dropped, she STILL let him spend the night.

b) Has a couch.

So why the FUCK was he in your bed cuddling you? I mean seriously, mixed signals much? How about telling him you didn't want to cuddle if he HAD to sleep on the bed? Geez!

c) Got the headache later that night after said cuddling was done.

LATER

OK, so, you like cuddles, you cuddled on the second date and now you feel like a cuddle scarlet woman of sorts. I get that, but you had all the control here. He could have slept on the couch if you were so inclined to be charitable. He could have gone home after the bombs and not spent the night at all.

But NOOOOOO, you invited him to bed with you. Like that has any other meaning other than ♫♪brown chicken ♪brown cow ♫

But I digress.

 

I see a lot of red flags. I won't bother listing all of them, your post indicates that you also see them. The main one is he's making himself too comfortable way too fast; IMO he's being presumptious.

 

I really don't know why you're indulging in this fantasy of the put-out male. I can tell you that if all that cuddling and caressing didn't progress to making out in a reasonable amount of time (hours?) I wouldn't want to fuck him, either. Take a lesson from it instead of being so outraged. The guy blew it.

 

A - it was agreed upon that he could stay the night due to how far away I live. I discussed my concerns about this and how I did not want to feel uncomfortable. He said something to the extent of you don't know who I am. I'm not the kind of guy who's going to try to fuck you in the ass blah blah blah. It was only after this declaration that he made about being respectful and not staying just to get laid did I agree. And really, he was fine until the next morning. So I can't even say I wished he hadn't spent the night. I don't feel bad about myself for letting him stay the night in my bed. I think we're all adults here.

B - yes I have a couch, but like I said nothing had happened to make me feel like he couldn't sleep in the same bed as myself.

C- I got the headache the next morning when I woke up.

My only gripe here is that he A - put the moves on me AFTER I had said how bad I felt and B- refused to take the hint after he tool me to get my meds, that hey, this is over it's time to go home, this girl doesn't feel well.

He was nice, but just got a little too comfortable too fast, as said. And maybe a little dense if he honestly didn't think he needed to go home after taking me to the drugstore for meds. I don't know. I guess I could have been more blunt and said, thanks for taking me to get these meds, I'm going to take them and you need to get the fuck out now.

 

You have a point. I, personally, wouldn't have gotten into bed (regardless of driving an hour+ to her) before ... so many things first. fourth or fifth date, kissing her, etc etc.

 

It sounds to me like he is just a little odd. Perhaps socially awkward and not apt to pick up quickly on social cues and whatnot. Along with the other observations you made about him I don't get the impression he's been with a lot of women.

 

He actually said that? Oh god, I know I am just a stranger on the internet, but could you PLEASE share the transcripts of those chats? Please. I need this.

 

Yes, I sort of think that, too. But maybe not generally, but just with women.

 

Not gonna touch on the rest of the entire thing so far, but you really need to up your "clear & direct communication" skillz @RedSneaker .

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I find online dating to be a worthwhile tool.

SO and I met online, where after a while it turned out we had crossed paths a couple times.

Been living together for a year now, and except for some unrelated issues things are going pretty damn well.

I do think encountering persons of interest online helps a lot in the screening process and assessing the compatibility of interests and personality.

 

@remixer duly noted.

 

You will learn things from every date that you will carry on to the next. Moving on. Don't be dismayed.

 

Have you? Really?

That's what I get for pointing something out without being sarcastic or cheeky: A wonderfully standard response. Did being a professional (of any sort) teach you that "duly noted" is any kind of proper response?

Not even a modicum of self-doubt to make you consider that the guy wasn't the only reason shit went awkward. Couldn't be.

Fucking great.

 

LMFAO! I think her post rankled you a bit more than it should have @Remixer.

I can't be the only one loving the shit out of this thread.

 

It's not that I was offended.

I just find it rude when I make a simple observation and the only thing people can be bothered with is a dismissive response.

Not even a "what makes you think that?", to see why the observation could be true.

Pride is a wonderful thing.

 

You bastard.