Smart Aleck responses you wish you could have said.

Has there ever been something you wish you could have said, but didn't because it would have led to other problems or consequences?

For example:

I was crossing the border into Canada, and was asked by Customs "Why couldn't a Canadian do your job that you are entering this country to do?"

What I should have said is "I do the work of two Canadians, but get paid half"

Or

The boss asked, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

Saying "On the beach drinking margaritas and hanging out with senoritas." probably wouldn't have gone over too well. But it is the truth.

 

i don't have any specific examples, but i have no gift of gab so things i should of said always pop into my head after the fact. it's almost an art form to watch people who are good at this.

 

Why do you need 4 people for a 2 person job !

 

I'm pretty much the opposite. Smart ass comes flying out of my mouth before the internal censor kicks in.

 

After seeing an accident that ended with a van upside-down on the opposite side of the highway with 5 other cars wrecked and my side of the highway closed, I ran up to see if I could help anyone, but everyone involved was wearing a seatbelt and there were no injuries. The van that had flipped into oncoming traffic was from a painting company and left most of its cargo splattered all over the road. I walked back to my car and people were standing outside of theirs asking me if everyone was OK. I had a wonderful conversation with three guys standing by a car.

Guy 1 "So what happened?"
Me: "The guy driving the van hit the curb, swerved back, hit another car, and flipped over the median. Everyone is OK."
Guy 1"Let me guess, it was a bunch of Mexicans?"
Me: "uh...:
Guy 2: "Not sure? He means were they Hispanic?"
Me: (quietly) "um, yeah." *looks around awkwardly, wanders back to the car*

About half a second after I answered, I wished I had said "No, I'm sure, just taken aback by the casual racism," but the boat had sailed on that one.

 

I think that this is posted in the wrong thread, Donald Villa.

Edit: nevermind. I should have checked to see if you're a spammer first. Turns out you are.

 

Donald Villa, welcome to the TFP, I see you've met the_jazz, our resident asshole

Now GFY

 

When I was junior high (middle) school & high school "queer" was a very common insult amongst guys. I always liked the response "Why don't you suck my dick and find out?". I rarely used it because I wasn't much of a fighter.

A related?? digression. I might not have this exactly correct, but hopefully the humor is intact. At one time head (as in drugs, not oral sex) comics were popular. The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers was my favorite (thank you, Gilbert Shelton). In one issue Phineas Freak is called a queer by one of two rednecks. He struggles to make a snappy comeback, and has to settle for "Fuck you, motherfucker!". One redneck says to the other, "Did you hear what that queer hippy said? Let's get him!". As Phineas is running from them he shouts over his shoulder, "I'm sorry, man, I didn't that he was your mother." He also chastises himself for not responding with "Why don't you suck my dick and find out?".

I apologize, I don't post many vulgaraties, but without them this post wouldn't make much sense.

 

(I'm tagging Plan9 because the inclusion of both Arnold AND Colton Rosenbusch is too much to resist!)

 

Hey MeltedMetalGlob, how did that snappy comeback work out later that night?

 

It's not really a come back more of a zinger but I absolutely LOVED this post by Borla ...

 

My old lady doesn't believe in sex after marriage, so... business as usual!