Relationship problems help!

Ok bare with me here Im new at this forum stuff..
I been with this girl off and on for almost 2 years now. This is the 3rd time I came back and gave her another chance. I left her 2 times before that because she always thought I was cheating on her and doing sneaky stuff behind her back and we would get into some serious fights about it.. But every time before she'd accuse me I'd find out it was her speaking to other females because she got mad at me and didnt trust me. It was fine when we got back together, Now for the past 2 weeks all she does everyday is question if I love her and if I really want to be with her, If im really home or Im at work etc etc. Always saying I have to be loyal, faithful and real. She doesnt trust me at all and I give no reason for her not to. The past 3 days have been just terrible she puts me down , says rotten stuff, It went as far as her and her best friend posting stuff on a website bashing me all because she was mad at me, of course she apologizes as always. I also find out she went as far as messaging this girl she was sleeping with before just to get back at me. She says she loves me and deep in my heart I want to believe it. But how can she love me when all she does is bash me, say hurtful things and does spitful stuff out of anger? She thinks apologizing all the time is going to work and shes say shes going to show me but never does. There's more to the story and a lot more things she has done. I love her sooo much but I cant handle her making me feel like Im worthless anymore... 3 times too many chances

 

Hi Vicki

Sorry to hear about what you've been going through. I know how maddening being with someone who questions your loyalty all the time can be. I guess my first question is - have her accusations ever been justified? Obviously, she's having trust issues - I'm just trying to determine why. If something in your past caused her to have a problem trusting you, then you're going to have to work hard to show her you've changed. But if she's never had a justified reason not to trust you, I would think that this isn't really even about you, but more of an insecurity she has about herself, or she's projecting her own struggles with infidelity on to you.

Trust is so important. Without it, relationships just don't work.

 

No her accusations have never been justified redsneaker... she does a lot of things out of anger and is very spiteful.. always trying to take revenge or payback and honestly there is no reason for it. I think its all in her head because she has trust issues and very influenced by what her friends say and think. And Bora you are right its just hard to let go of someone you love and has your heart. I have to let her go plain and simple..

 

Letting go will be hard, but it will save you in the end. No one deserves that kind of treatment.

 

i'd say she's run out of chances and it's time to move on. it gets to the point where you're just recycling beefs in a downward spiral for both of you. forgiving someone doesn't mean the issue is fixed or won't show up again and you've seen that happen enough. people will always show you who they are through their words a bit but even more through their actions, and it sounds like this chick needs to work on her own issues before she's ready for a relationship and you're already there, so find someone else.s

 

Thank you all.. I think I needed to hear it from others because I wasnt sure what I was thinking was right. The ones that I know well just plain out dont like her because of how she treats me. So its hard to talk to them..She needs to work on a lot as in life, relationships and herself. Thanks once again ​

 

People can say whatever they want, it's their actions that count. Everyone deserves to be treated with some measure of respect, and it sounds like you aren't. Life is to short to be in an unhappy relationship. I think it's time to move on, and start something new. Don't give her any more chances. Get on with your life without her. It's going to be painful, but when you find a relationship worthy of who you are, you will be much happier.
Just my two cents. What do I know?

 

I've always held that nobody asks the Internet for advice, they come for validation. You know the right thing to do is break up, but if our support helps, let it. You're right. Break it off completely and cleanly, point her toward support if you're in a position to. Your number one priority is to look out for number one and extract yourself from the toxic and abusive relationship you're in.

 

she's trying to break up with you, but doesnt have the guts to do it herself.

She's and trying to put doubt in your mind as to whether you really love her, in the hope that you'll initiate the breakup. If she keeps feeding you subliminal messages, you're eventually going to agree and give in.

Move on. She's cheating on you, and doesnt love you the way you love her. Dont fall for the mind games.

 

Ooh, that's insightful. I think you're spot on.