Adult Science Jokes

Need to get some booty.

 

Well, she's direct...the kind of flavor I like. Gives me a hadron.

 

Must be a Monday...

 

Nice science mouse pad...I'm horny for some reason...

 

TGIF - have a great accident on purpose over the weekend.

 

A problem I'd like to have...

 

Some weird long-distance thing... (must be European)

 

Now that makes me feel better...

 

OMG!!
Call me when they start getting into the SCADA software...

 

Labor Day Weekend Bonus.

 

Sounds like a Monday...

 

• Old chemists never die, they just fail to react.
• Old chemists never die, they just reach equilibrium
• Old chemists never die, they just smell that way
• Old chemists never die, they just do it inorganically
• Old chemists never die, they just lose their refluxes
• Old chemists never die, only their entropy increases

My entropy is increasing...but I'm a physicist, what gives??

 

You might be a scientist...

• If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail.
• If your wrist watch has more computing power than a AMD FX (** changed from a 486DX-50. )
• If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place.
• If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.
• If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string.
• If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies.
• If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area.
• If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run.
• If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception.
• If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project.
• If you have never backed-up your hard drive.
• If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
• If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.
• If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
• If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight.
• If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it.
• If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary.
• If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for.
• If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting.
• If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
• If you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.
• If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory.

List is a bit dated...see if you can see those lines that have changed this day and age.
You may be a scientist if you can...

 

'nuff said.

 

Why does this make me want to chuckle like Beavis & Butthead???
You said, "hard"...uhh...heh, heh,