Finally got a girlfriend. But there's an issue...

oh boy, here we go again. more "advice" on being a better, more conscientious asshole.
--- merged: Jun 26, 2013 at 2:13 PM ---
make that less conscientious.

 

Since my three posts in this thread amount to "funny", "here's what that means non-native English speaker" and "funny" (with "funny" being relative, as always), I'm going to assume that I'm an asshole-to-be-named later.

I see an opportunity to explain what he really meant squandered by the OP. That means he's open to criticism for his handling of this, especially if anyone remembers other threads. He's made it clear that he didn't break up with her because of the odor, but he's also made it abundantly clear that he wasn't that invested and was really only in it for the booty. Nothing wrong there, but this is obviously a sensitive subject, and I think that there are a lot of people concerned that she's unknowingly walking around with a stinky [insert favorite slang word for female genitals here].

As with everything at TFP, that whole thing probably could have been handled better. By him and us.

 

For my part, I'm not really that concerned about her walking around with an odiferous vagina. Lots of people have smelly things. They don't need anyone's pity.

 

I didn't really mean to offend anyone. Let me expand a bit more.

I didn't intend to use the word "ditch" or "dump" negatively against her, I meant it as I didn't think we were compatible so I let her go. I don't want to use the phrase "we went our separate ways" because I'd feel that's not entirely true; she's still infatuated with me, and that was my main concern. We live 2 hours away and only got to see each other on weekends. In the 2nd weekend she wanted me to meet her parents; 5-6 hours away from us. I stupidly said "maybe!" because I didn't really think much of it, until I realized that's actually a huge step. She also wanted to meet my best friends. Yet only getting to see her two weekends I felt it was going way too fast and I told her that I wanted to get to know her more. 3rd week she wanted to become "official" as a couple on Facebook. I felt like this was an ultimatum in a way since I've already mentioned to her that I want to take things much slower, so I knew I had to make my decision, so I did. The vagina thing was just an added bonus to coming to a conclusion. And I wasn't looking for just a booty call; she is a great person with a pretty good head on her shoulders despite being younger, but I just didn't feel like we had the same mindsets and I don't felt the compatibility was enough to keep continuing. We are still friends though and we still plan on hanging out, albeit not as much because of the distance still.

It's still not all that great. I have to resort to dating sites and even with those I don't get a lot of replies back from the women I'm attracted to that also fit my personality. The girl I met before this one was average looking which was fine but her life was all kinds of fucked up, and this last girl I didn't really develop an attraction to like I thought I would. I deleted my profile and am just gonna take it easy and go back to the way things used to be being alone so I don't hurt anymore people.

 

Heh, you didn't actually offend anybody.

As far as your dating problem? Well, I think you handled the situation about as well as anybody else would have. I too am leery of people that rush to cutesy relationship titles after such a short period of time together. "We've been around each other for 96 hours? ZOMGWTFBBQ! I'm updating FaceySpace!" Cue the nervous sweats and vomit butterflies.

Online dating sites are an extremely useful tool and I hope you reconsider. It's easy to get frustrated with the results, but you have to remember that the results would at least be just as bad as approaching girls elsewhere. You should only be alone if you want to be alone.

I get the kneejerk to delete. Maybe take some time off to work on you.

Best of luck.

 

You can disable dating site accounts to take a break now and then without deleting all the work you put into it. For future reference.

Plus, I think it's really important to communicate up front (as in, in your ad) what you're looking for and then restate that on the first date. Have them repeat it back to you so it's clear. I also suggest not talking about 'finding the right one' or 'the love of your life' in your ad. Not saying that you are, but I've seen that a lot.

 

Come on boy, that's just the beginning. Don't always be so categorical.

 

OMG No. This is horrible advice. With your heart in the right place but your foot firmly in your mouth. She will take it as personally as possible.

She now needs to solve this without OP's involvement.

 

I tend to agree. I'm sitting here trying to imagine some dude telling me my coochie smells after breaking things off with me and I can't seem to do that without also imagining myself dumping this cherry slushie on his head. That ship has sailed...if it ever was in port.

 

I've got to agree with Xerxes. There's no classy way to do this after the break-up, especially if she's still really into him. There is no possible way that attempt at being nice is going to be received well by her. All it will do is make her mad at him, and that's the point when bad things become more possible.

 

Ugh, yeah, like Cathy Bates in Misery.

Are you seriously drinking a cherry slushie and posting on TFP? That's endearing.

 

You can dump anyone for any reason you want. Just don't announce it and expect others to agree with it. By the way, I'm not so sure it's so terrible to dump a person who smells too bad. I've never run into that though.

 

Come on is a few weeks involvment not a divorce!
Who do you expect will tell this if not mild exs?
One nighter don't care.
Long stands, that want to voice it out, you have to wait for them. And that is paddling against.

I don't know if I would tell her, but I would understand if someone tells me something like that.

 

This is someone he dated a few times, not a friend.
I have long-standing, non-sexual female friends that I would tell something of this nature but that's based on years of trust and friendship.

 

Hey, I only refer to the men of TFP as bitches.

 

And we are.

 

I'm in a slushie phase. I have one with lunch every Thursday. I've no doubt it means something.